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November 23, 2009

Madeline's questions of the day

Madeline and I played some question guessing games today. In the morning over breakfast I asked her some questions like "what fruit becomes a raisin". At night before bed she asked me questions. Her questions were as follows:

Why are the colors of the rainbow red-orange-yellow-green-blue?
If a lion is in a cage then will it be sad?
What do lions eat? A: Meat
Are our insides made out of meat?
Why do bees have stingers?
Will a bee like it if I leave honey for it on the ground?
Why is lava hot?
Why are moths attracted to light?

I was able to handle most of them but I was definitely stumped by the moth question


August 09, 2009

swimming and the ocean

We went to the beach at the end of the day today with the kids. Madeline and I stood at the edge of the water where small wavelets were crashing into our feet. She would get her hands dirty in the sand and then need to wash them again. We threw rocks and she handed me ones to throw as far as I could. One time she handed me some tiny rocks to throw and they rained down into the water making thousands of small splashes. She wanted me to pick her up when bigger waves crashed and because it was fun to be lifted up and spun around she wanted me to pick her up even when there were no big waves. I told her we needed to be brave and I felt empathy with her confronted with the incredible power of the ocean compared with being so small a person. Looking into the water I felt like we were having a family reunion with some ancient embryonic ancestors that long ago split with my genetic tree. Madeline and I came from the ocean some time ago and now we were back with our family to splash around before returning to land again to have a chocolate chip ice cream cone and look at our digital photos.

Among the big developments over the past week - Madeline has learned enough confidence to jump into the water and try to swim to me without a life jacket. It is a lot of flailing and always eventually requires a rescue but it classifies as swimming so I feel like some major new milestone has been reached.

February 06, 2009

Mr Potato Head controversy

Lisa Dave and I debated whether there was ever a real vegetable Mr. Potato Head. The issue was put to rest by Wikipedia. Yes some guy was making dolls for his sisters out of vegetables. Also of interest was that Mr. Potato Head was a controversial and rejected idea at first due to the wastefulness of vegetables.

The grape-eyed, carrot-nosed, potato-headed dolls became the principal idea behind the plastic toy which would later be manufactured.

In the beginning, Lerner's toy proved controversial. With the war and food rationing a recent memory for most Americans, the use of fruits and vegetables to make toys was considered irresponsible and wasteful. Toy companies rejected Lerner's creation.

December 29, 2008

Blocked comment in my blog but turned to mysql to fix it

I am not sure why it happened but my blog which is on MT3.2 and can't be moved because net firms refuses to do whatever it takes to let me get up to MT4 or greater stopped working suddenly. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't need to log important things like the following:

I realized that Rusty in National Lampoon's Christmas is now in the Big Bang Theory playing Leonard. This was very hard to do and I dare any computer program in the next 40 years to repeat such a feat. He also happened to have been in Rosanne and the girl kid in Rosanne is also in the Big Bang Theory. I sense a conspiracy.

I also realized that Lawrence Fishburne played a weird cowboy in Pee Wee's playhouse. Possibly a part of the same conspiracy.

Zachary is saying things through utterances including - a-pl for apple, sh for shoe, t for tree, and is always saying uh-oh for dropped food. He uses signs to communicate that he wants to be picked-up by pointing up and clapping when he wants more of something. It was great to see him say a-pl this morning and point to the apple on the counter. He doesn't say mommy or daddy yet.

Madeline is able to create complex scenarios planning for things. For example when in the hot tub she will say something like "You will go inside and get a towel then pick me up and dry me off and then I will wait while you go back and close the hot tub then I will eat a banana. She also tried to help out when the van broke down on the side of the road with useful suggestions like "maybe the engine is broken? maybe the engine is sad? Someone should pick-us up and drive us home!".

So the solution to fixing my Movable type install was to go through mysql in the admin module and delete all the comments that had been created by the spambots but were sitting in the database. I just ran something like delete from mt_comments where visible=0 which took care of dropping every record that I hadn't approved for view by people.

December 15, 2008

Great progress

Madeline can now use a mouse well enough to turn on her favorite eCards from Jacqui Lawson. She also can click through the menus on the remote control to replay her favorite scholastic videos. We spent tonight making hand shadows on the ceiling before she melted down. Zachary walks like a champ and laughs at slapstick humor. He was giggling America’s Funniest Home Videos last night. Sarah is busy baking cookies for a cookie swap tomorrow. I was inspired at lunch by a friend who is having an ugly Christmas sweater party that there is always some good humor and silliness to be had in this season. I joined FaceBook after getting invited by a good friend to look at his pictures there and have been mildly inundated by random invitations to share the status of friendship from folks who I know from way back in junior high and other odd acquaintances. I also joined loopd on my phone after finding it as a free app in the app store. It lets people track where I am and should let me figure out where people are. I think it was designed for people in New York but maybe it will be useful at some point. For now I can only find myself... which is a challenge but something I do on a regular basis.

December 06, 2008

Definitely walking

Zachary is definitely walking as of this week. He can just take his slow steps across a room and get from point A to point B. Madeline still is trying to "just pretend" act like a baby but continues to extend the pretending into behavior like using a pacifier and taking a nap in the crib.

November 15, 2008

I want to walk

It's been a while since I put in a blog entry but that is life. I seem to have gotten caught in the mix of work, fatherhood, and whatever else but I can probably get back to writing stuff down if I really want to. Zach is taking his first steps lately. He can do two or three of them. He indicates that he wants things by waving his hand which he does all the time. I swear at breakfast this morning I heard him clearly say "I want" when it came to the food he wanted to eat. So I will consider it the first words I have heard him say. He also claps to say he wants more of something or just to clap because he is happy.

I've had this cough lately that is "non-productive" and making my lungs feel full of fluid so I'm taking Robitussin DM.

October 11, 2008

Updated photos POD people

I finally updated some of the recent photos onto Flickr. Among my experiments is to tag the photos that I like with a tag called "POD" so that I can filter down the library to a set of good pictures. I looked back over it tonight to get some perspective on 2008, the year of the Zack, so far.

This is the POD slide show that mainly includes 2008's best pictures from my cameras since Zachary was born.

Life lately has been generally hectic. The start-up is doing well but always feels like we teeter between break-out expansion and risk of collapse because we are such a small group. With the stock market tumbling and the debates rolling towards the elections times appear to be changing in some direction. Hopefully prosperity and confidence will return to the world soon. I'm off to Beerse for a business trip next week so it will be interesting to see the world on the other side of the Atlantic.

August 31, 2008

Free time - what to do

I was blessed with a few hours of free time on a Sunday with great weather. Zachary has a babysitter and Madeline and Sarah went to Hattie's baby shower. So what have I been doing.

First I decided that it would be a good idea to upgrade the firmware on the Blu-ray player. My Blu-ray player is the Sony BDPS300 and last night Sarah and I tried to watch "21" only to find that the player hung while trying to load the disc. So I looked on the Sony web site and saw it would be a saga to install the player. But I followed the directions on the Sony support web site and after 30 minutes I managed to get the player to play the disc.

Since Sarah bought an ipod we need to get it to play the music from our defunct music library. So after fighting with the thing yesterday morning and getting music, but what was determined to be bad music, onto it I am in the process of having it grab the music from our old archive on the terabyte drive. It tries to do some indexing of cover art or something so that is taking forever.

I felt the hot tub needed some maintenance so I put all three sets of chemicals into it. I shocked it, I chlorinated it, and I put in the stuff that gets rid of oils like my excessive leave in conditioner.

I decided to load and organize my photos into the Flickr library online. I even looked at the stats and could correlate people looking at my images with times/dates that I post that I have updated images through the blog. This was the graph it gave.

I have been struggling to grow grass in the areas where the patio construction affected the most. What happened was that the rocks and rock-dirt was in the front lawn while the patio was being dug-up and installed. Upon seeding it not a lot of grass has grown. Due to a complex chain of events beginning with my ineptitude at closing pipes for the winter I have yet to be able to water the area effectively. I did close the pipes for the winter but closed both the inside and outside locking water in that burst the pipe leading to the front yard. It was fixed but then the faucet thing stripped and broke. Then I bought the wrong one from Somerville Lumber. Then I bought another one from Home Depot which is much closer. Now I can't find my tools with the wrench. So anyways I had tried Miracle Grow liquid fertilizer but not much of it transferred from the bottle to the ground. So I poked a hole in the bottles of the concentrated stuff with a screw driver and squirted, it came out like lighter fluid, the fertilizer onto the patches that have refused to grow grass.

I thought I mighht work out on the elliptical runner now in the basement but I never got around to it.

August 06, 2008

kids update

The kids are growing up fast. Zachary is already doing a commando crawl around rooms. He is trying to start pushing himself to a full crawling position and I'm sure he will be there shortly. He likes to babble. When we went to the beach a week back I tried to dip him into the cold water and he was not a fan of the experience. When I returned to the group including Sarah he then decided to say "Yab, Yahb, Bab, bahb" which roughly translates to - "Did you see what this crazy guy was trying to do to me?" I've been trying to work with Madeline on moving forwards with swimming. She loves to dive around the hot tub onto me and yells "Hee Haw" as she dives. We managed to graduate from the 3 inch deep water at Crystal Lake to the waist high water but she is hesitant to go under the water fully. We have water games we play. Shark involves humming the song from Jaws and clapping my hands around her or "eating" a meal of sand placed into one of my hands through my arm-mouth. Uppie-Down involves hurling her into the air to land back in the water. We also are now often playing a game where she calls me a "bum" and I tickle her until she tells me I am not a bum. Fun stuff.

May 11, 2008

Mothers day 2008

I woke-up early to train Madeline to say "Happy Mother's Day" to Sarah. I had tried to convey that she should also mention that we were going on a Starbucks run for her and to not put her pacifier in her mouth when delivering the message. The promise to Madeline was that she would get hugs and kisses if she did it. The actual results were that Madeline went into our room and blew kisses to Sarah on the way into the room. Maddy then looked at me a couple of times and I tried to hint to say "happ..." so Madeline then wished Sarah a "Happy Valentine's Day". We all had a good laugh and then discussed how Zachary can't yet say Happy Mother's Day and Madeline thought it was because Zach was older.

March 27, 2008

You are a daddy

While putting Madeline to bed tonight we had the following conversation:

M: I have a fairy pants on.
D: Are you a fairy?
M: No.
D: Are you a little girl?
M: Yes.
D: Am I a big boy?
M: Yes.
D: Am I a man?
M: No.... You are a daddy.
D: Are there any other daddys?
M: No.

March 07, 2008

Getting a passport for a baby born at home

About a month before Zachary was born in January we decided to schedule a trip to Turks and Caicos in May. We are going to take one of those Beaches tours where we can wake-up and have Elmo excercise with us or bake cookies with Cookie Monster. As part of the reservation process we made a reservation for the yet to appear Zachary offering him a name even though he wasn't going to be arriving for another 6 weeks or so.

So we were committed to getting him a passport back then since T&C is a foreign enough location to require a passport for us all. When Zachary was born, at home, we had no idea of the difficulty we would face in acquiring a passport for him. But here is the basic story thus far of our adventures to acquire positive identification for him. It started when I went to city hall to file the paperwork for his birth certificate. The basic workflow is that first you get a birth certificate then a social security card and then a passport. So I knew there would be three steps.

With a home birth there apparently is some increased risk of creating fraudulent children so the city of Newton and the state of Massachusetts are quite leary of us. In a hospital they would trust the physicians and the automated systems and punch out a social security number automatically. They are also leary about us because our house has two addresses but I'll get to that soon. At city hall I quickly was able to register to vote and then a nice clerk let me know that I couldn't get my birth certificate processed unless I brought a copy of my marriage license.

So I went home to look for my marriage license and was unable to locate it. Since Brookline City hall has these sorts of things on file I went in person to Brookline a few days later to see if I could get a copy or two made of the marriage license. Unfortunately when I first got there they were doing so much construction on city hall that I couldn't find my way to the door and needed to turn back so that I could make a meeting. Then when I finally figured out where the location was for the temporary town clerk's office they mentioned that all of their files including my marriage license was stored in the part of the buildings that were under construction. So we discussed the whole thing and I had them mail me the license since I didn't think I was ever going to get around to pick it up in person.

About a week later the license came in the mail. About 8 days later Sarah finally had the time to go to Newton City Hall to bring it to the town clerks office. Upon receipt of the item I figured I was on my way to getting a birth certificate for Zachary. But I received a call a few days later letting me know that the paperwork couldn't be sent on to the state processing folks because our official address in the logs for the tax payers is 80 Glen Ave. and the paperwork from the midwife said 80 Leeson Lane so they would need me to come and resolve it in person by signing some documents at City hall.

So we cleared-up that mess in about a week and were happy to know that we could get a birth certificate about 14 days later when I picked it up. Feeling confident that we were well on our way towards a citizen child we asked what to do to get a social security number. The answer was to go in person to a social security office in Waltham where they handle people like us. So on a day full of weather Sarah gathered the kids and took the birth certificate to the people at the social security office. They were happy to asisst her but sent her home because they need TWO forms of positive identification and the birth certificate was only one form of identification. Now I may be naive about global terrorism but I don't have a driver's license for my 8 week old child. When offered the documentation from the midwife that was used to process the birth certificate the social security folks said that the documentation was equivalent to the birth certificate so it couldn't count as a second form of identification. Sarah returned to the office about a week later with some medical bills and the documentation from the doulah and despite the policies of the US Government they agreed to send Zachary his social security card.

So just yesterday we received in the mail a new social security card. Now all we need to do is get a photo of Zachary and apply for a passport! How hard can that be?


I had fun at the restaurant

A few weeks ago Sarah and I were out in Natick running errands on a Monday holiday. Madeline was with us and it was a dreary rainy day. We drove around looking for a suitable location for lunch and didn't have much luck finding anything interesting. So we stopped into Chili's and ate a Meximerican meal. The highlight of the day and maybe a lot longer was that after we left the restaurant, with no prompting, Madeline said "I had fun at the restaurant." It is so good to get that rare appreciation and confirmation that something we chose to do even without much thinking was a success in the mind of the little ones.

January 11, 2008

Answer to the primo viaggio crappy sun shield

While we were at a baby store shopping for nursing bras yesterday after the pediatrician appointment I spotted a useful tool in the corner of the store. A company called Uppababy sells a bubble for car seats that allows you to have a shield on top of the car seat sheild. I bought it immediately after seeing it fit over our Peg Perego Primo Viaggio car seat. For those people who have one of these it has a fatal flaw that the sun shield barely covers 50% of the car seat and is pretty much a piece of crap. So we are psyched and ready for our Carribean trip in May despite the overcast weather today.

January 10, 2008

Zachary’s birth story (Dan's version)

Earlier in the day Sarah and I went out to Baker’s Best for breakfast and then went to Brookline to pick-up my coat at Lisa and Dave’s house. On the way home we went to Petco and bought a ton of pet supplies including four times the litter and food that we normally purchase. On the way back from Petco we stopped for a Fresh City Wrap and smoothie then looked at rocking chairs at the next door store. Sarah wanted to buy one but they required selecting a pattern for custom manufacturing but since we had to go back to meet J, our midwife/doula we rushed back before she could select a pattern. J provided some insight into how to induce labor through natural means including drinking raspberry leaf tea, some vitamin called Borat?, and finishing incomplete things. Madeline enjoyed getting a faux examination and playing with the Doppler equipment that provides the heartbeat of the baby where her favorite part was the blue goo you need to put on the belly where the measuring device is rubbed. At night Sarah went back through bags of baby clothing to organize them. We tried watching the football game (Pittsburgh – Jacksonville) but I fell asleep at half time.

At about one AM we awoke and I went to check on the final score of the game to find that Pittsburgh had made an amazing come-back then blown the game after taking a lead. As I was describing this to Sarah she mentioned that she was having trouble sleeping and a few minutes later she let me know that “this might be it”. So I timed the contractions with Sarah giving me mentions of potential vs. real contractions and they seemed to be about six minutes apart. We thought about calling J quickly to have her come as soon as possible but since she lives 45 minutes away in Worcester we thought it would be best to be certain that we were experiencing labor and not indigestion. Sarah was walking around since false labor apparently goes away with walking around. But after an hour of timing the contractions we were certain so Sarah called J and set the wheels in motion for the home birth.

J wasn’t the first person on the scene. The midwife in training, B, came first since she lives down the street from us. Now that I have experienced it twice I know that Sarah always wants deep sacrum pushes on her back to counteract pressure from the labor as much as possible. By the time B had arrived my thumbs were already numb from pushing on her back so I was relieved the B could help with that and I could give Sarah some moral support. I must admit that the midwives were better at both moral and physical support throughout the night so I tried to focus on what I am better equipped to handle – logistics.

So when J arrived we were in full swing and Sarah was undergoing some pretty heavy contractions. She was moving around the house from the living room to the bathroom near the kitchen. That was when the first logistics request was made to me. J said – “we need a flashlight”. That was when I realized that I was also going to be somewhat limited in the logistics department since the only flashlights we had were the clever charge them yourself with a crank kind that unfortunately only last about ten seconds if you haven’t been charging them with a crank for a half hour or so. So I was in the kitchen furiously trying to charge the flashlight I had with a crank and was ultimately told that it wasn’t that important since all J needed was to be able to look at her watch while timing the heart rate of the fetus on the Doppler sonar thing. So I gave-up on the flashlight until an hour later when J asked me if I had batteries for her flashlight and I happen to keep a lot of D batteries around since Madeline’s crib aquarium toy that used to be the only way she could keep herself asleep ate them like candy.

So following the flashlight incident along came K, the second midwife. K is very experienced and is the owner of the aqua-doula that we rented. By the time K had arrived, three or four hours after Sarah started labor Sarah was already in a full bathtub that I had drawn and carefully set the temperature to 100 degrees – so as to not mask or create a false fever. J and K counseled me that Sarah was pretty far along and the it takes about two hours to fill the bath which would probably be longer than the time for the labor to be complete. I recalled the trouble with “finishing” the labor last time with the cervix having a lip that needed to be pulled back by the doctor painfully hours later than Sarah would have liked it to happen so I made the executive decision that I would spend the time while Sarah labored on an engineering project to fill a big tub in our bedroom with 100 degree water.

Now the first challenge we had was that Madeline was sleeping in the bedroom. So we had to set-up this tub without waking her up and that meant doing it in the dark. This was easy enough for K but not so easy for me as a novice but we did get the thing assembled. We then turned on the water hose to find after the thing was about a quarter full that our water heater had run out of hot water. It was flowing cold winter water into the tub instead of the 100 degree water we needed. Since the tub has some heating element in it I figured we could use that but I was counseled that it mainly maintains a temperature rather than actually heating the tub to 100 degrees. So K gave me a tutorial on my water heater. She was impressed with the size of it but noted that it wasn’t able to pull off the job. There is a knob at the bottom of the water heater that establishes the heat of the water in it designed to avoid people from scalding themselves. It ranges from vacation to warm to HOT. Our heater was set near the bottom of warm so we tuned it closer to hot and waited for it to warm-up. But we still needed to add water and we were low on time. Sarah was 9 centimeters dilated so the project was looking like a waste of time.

But the recommendation from K was to use the “boiling water” technique to heat the tub. That technique is to put pots on the stove to boil water and add the hot water to the tub to warm the temperature. This is a good idea and assumes you often have home clam bakes with four full 15 gallon pots. We generally make spaghetti for four people every two months so our largest pot is not very impressive. But I did cover the stove with two frying pans full of water, our meager spaghetti pot, and a small pot used for sauce. Since this was not having much effect on the temperature of the water we also resorted to using the coffee maker to make pots of water with no grounds in the filter and microwaving water in plastic bowls.

At 5 AM Madeline awoke in the bedroom to the flurry of mad boiling water carrying and Sarah moaning in the bathroom and threw me into a bit of a panic. So I called my parents to let them know that they may be needed to watch Madeline. I then hung up on them figuring I could tell them exactly when I would need them to help. A half hour or so later Madeline was starting to become tricky to handle without becoming a full time activity downstairs away from Sarah so I called my parents to come over. Since I was having water boiling problems I also asked them to bring bigger pots and remembered that I also needed them to bring the spare King size sheet set since ours was likely to get pretty messy.

So Sarah labored on and a half hour later my parents arrived with the pots. Apparently they frequently host large clam bakes since they had plenty of gigantic pots. Together we were able to boil enough water to heat the tub to 97 degrees and they managed to watch Madeline. The inviting of my parents over had a chain reaction back to my sister and Dave. They were asked to walk the dogs at my parents house so they were around the corner. As Sarah labored during the morning they came over to help entertain Madeline downstairs for a while.

The aqua-doulah was in full swing and the tub in the bathroom where Sarah was laboring was getting cold despite our having thrown a couple of boiling pots of water into it. So we moved to the big tub so that Sarah and I both got into it. I was there for some moral support and rubbing her back to provide counter-pressure. Madeline wasn’t easily contained downstairs so when she walked in the door to the bedroom to see a “giant tub” she wanted to “take a tubbie”. We got her into the tub with us and she was enjoying splashing around. She wanted to jump up and down because the tub was so big but that sent shock-waves through the water causing it to splash out into the bedroom floor so that was discouraged. Eli also was fascinated by this and kept climbing into the room and peering into the tub to see what was going on. Later when Sarah was laboring on the bed he was banished to the basement for his annoying curiosity. Eventually Sarah was very uncomfortable and Madeline was trying to climb up onto her to have Sarah hold her so Madeline was banished down to play with my parents and sister. When Madeline later wanted to come-up she was quite insistent but was easily convinced that going downstairs to get 10 gummy bears would be a superior experience to seeing mommy again.

With the labor having moved along Sarah had some big challenges. She was dilated close to 10 centimeters but the baby wasn’t coming out. She didn’t feel the “urge to push” that you are supposed to. So the midwives asked her to do some pushing to move the labor forwards. She did the pushing but then the midwives checked her again and looked at each other perplexed at what they found. Their next piece of advice was to relax and rest since Sarah’s cervix was swelling and blocking the baby from coming out, because of the pushing. So Sarah went to take a half-sleep, half contraction laden rest. We found out later and they didn’t want to tell Sarah to discourage her was that after pushing for 30 minutes Sarah had gone from being 10 centimeters dilated to being 5 centimeters dilated.

I don’t recall exactly when this happened but one thought had been that Sarah’s water had never broken and that given how dilated she was that breaking the water which was bulging from the outside could cause the baby to find the right position to exit from. The midwives had trouble breaking the bag of waters but did eventually manage to do it.


At about 10:30 AM I called the Carvey’s to inform them that they should probably come over too given that the whole Housman clan was roaming the house and I had a hunch the baby might come in the next few hours. So downstairs a large crowd was gathering of family members and they were eating bagels and lox from Rosenfelds and donuts from Dunkin Donuts.

It was clear that Sarah was in a lot of pain and very frustrated and tired with the labor. She sat on the toilet and told J that she was ready for it to be all over and even asked J if it wasn’t too late to go to the hospital. J counseled her that we can always go to the hospital but once we do we can’t go back home and Sarah was happy to stay put for a little more effort. Sarah did some labor in the bed and then J mentioned that Sarah might find it less painful and stressful in the aquadoula. We had done some eating of eggs and toast after K cooked a dozen eggs and made toast for the weary crew and Sarah who had been up all night with the delivery.

The move to the aquadoula was considered to be the last option where most likely given Sarah’s exhaustion and frustration was at a level where after that I thought we would likely have to go to the hospital. Sarah mentioned that she just wanted it to finally be over. So Sarah and I got back into the tub. She labored for a while then started to feel like things had finally progressed.

She pushed out Zachary for three minutes while I was behind Sarah holding her. The intensity of the effort this time was much greater than for Madeline. With Madeline Sarah was calm when pushing her out. With Zachary she was screaming in pain letting out one very memorable primal scream as he finally came out. She referred to it as the overall labor being THE hardest thing she has done in her life and the pain of delivering Zachary as feeling like she was about to split in half.

The problem was made clear when Zachary arrived in the water. I was unable to see the exit because I was behind Sarah. The midwives let us know that Zachary arrived sunny side-up and to the side. This is technically a posterior acynclitic and is not a common home birth scenario. All babies do come out but posterior babies come out with their head in the opposite position from how the hips were designed to deliver them. So instead of having to dilate the cervix to 10 centimeters the cervix has to dilate to 12-15 centimeters. It also puts enormous pressure on the mother’s back. Had we gone into a hospital and they had run an ultrasound to find a baby in this position it is 90% that Zachary would have been born through a C-section.

But he wasn’t which was the best case since a C-section for Sarah because of her low platelets means being knocked unconscious with a tube down her throat and she was 100% opposed to that. So with Zachary out Sarah melted with joy and she cried a little with happiness as she held Zachary to her for the first time. Sarah announced to the midwives and me that it was OK for everyone to come upstairs to see the baby so my parents, my sister and Dave, and Sarah’s parents all arrived and surrounded the us to see the baby and congratulate Sarah.

Afterwards we celebrated with champagne but it was too hard to get everyone in the room at the same time with folks running around to do random errands but we did manage to sing happy birthday to Zachary once with Madeline helping to lead the song. Soon after while Sarah was recovering in the bed with Zachary - Lisa and Dave brought back an ice cream cake from JP Licks with a “Happy Birthday Zachary” written on it. We put a single frog candle on the cake and had Madeline blow it out (I helped a bit).

So I am so excited to welcome Zachary into the world. So far he has been an angel and Madeline, a two year old, appears in contrast to be a giant hand full of work to keep entertained, occupied, and to negotiate with.

I don’t believe in any form of immortality except for the genes I pass on and the memes in ideas and values that I show to the people that I influence. It is through Zachary and Madeline that I have an opportunity to make what I like best about myself, the ideas I believe in, and the people that I love to continue beyond my lifetime.

January 07, 2008

First pictures of Zachary Andrew Housman

The following are the first pictures of Zachary

January 06, 2008

Born on a bye-week

Much like Madeline Eve Housman, born on the Sunday of a Patriot's bye week, so was Zachary Andrew Housman. He was born in a tub of water (an aqua-doula) at our home on Leeson Lane at about 1PM and is about 21 inches and seven pounds or so. More details when they emerge will be available.

January 05, 2008

Where are Elmo's feet

While watching a Sesame street video Madeline asked an observant question. Where are Elmo's feet? You can't see the feet on most of the small puppets since they are operated from below. It bothered her that the muppets don't have feet.

December 26, 2007

It's beautiful

While I was frantically calling vendors this morning Madeline was happily doodling away on post-it notes while sitting on my lap. After completing this one she asked

"Daddy! I draw this. Can you put this on the computer? It's beautiful"

Here it is:

December 12, 2007

purple eyes and mansquares

More art from the entertainment department

Remote kids book reading sessions

One thought I had yesterday while reading Madeline an eCard from Jacqueline Lawson . It was the Santa book one... I was thinking of how she could be entertained by having someone IN the computer read her the book as well as having me read her the book. Someone has to turn the pages and read the text to her and respond to her as she looks at it. So my thought was that it would be a nice little business to create a catalog of eBooks for young kids (2-4) that also was integrated with a video chat function using the cameras on top of the computer. I could then let Madeline have Nonny, Grandma Roo, or a remote baby sitter who we know read her the story. That would free us to do other things for a few minutes. There could also be a range of other interactive entertainment designed to help educate and engage kids Madeline's age through the computer. Puppet shows, a replacement for baby Einstein stuff, animations, etc. It strikes me that there should be more programming online for her age group but most of the activities are creative uses of existing content by parents like looking through Flickr pictures of sheep or clicking through eCards on Blue Mountain until you find one the kid likes of cats singing happy birthday.

Don't forget the juice

We had a Channukah gathering at my parents house on Monday to light the menorah and eat latkes. On the short drive over Madeline remarked that she saw a Christmas tree. Sarah told her that now was a good time to look around because there are lots of Christmas trees around. I told Madeline to look for the menorah's in the windows to and to not forget the Jews. She looked down in her lap to find her sippy cup missing and exclaimed "We forgot the juice!".

November 27, 2007

Holiday party and sleep routine excitement

The holiday season is now in full swing. The only real event where we have a lot of people over at our house is our holiday party so this is almost a house warming event for the Newton house. Sarah has managed to co-ordinate the party thus far but I have been involved doing things like purchasing and carrying in a Christmas tree on Saturday. Madeline was very happy to see a Christmas tree and quickly proceeded to place ornaments onto the bottom branches. Eli the cat then proceeded to knock the ornaments off of the tree. Our tree this year is fatter than last year so the beads didn’t make it around. Since I am Jewish I don’t have a big set of ornaments but we have decided it makes sense to place some dreidels, menorahs, and gelt decorations into the mix on the tree to represent multiple cultures. My other contribution was to go out on a wine cellar stocking expedition with Dave F. to purchase a case and a half of wine at the various wine establishments. We learned the important point that the 15-20% discount when purchasing a case or more at each store still applies if you purchase the case with a friend and split it on two credit cards. So it pays, from a discount standpoint, to shop together for wine. Thus far I have successfully avoided all post Thanksgiving trips to the dreaded holiday mall parking lot. Given how pre-occupied I’ve been with work it will be an interesting question as to whether I’ll have the time to paint Madeline’s new room, the one she’ll be moved to when the new baby arrives, before this holiday party or not. If I start tonight or tomorrow I should be able to pull it off but after Wednesday it will be impossible to do two coats of paint.

The new go-to-sleep routine with Madeline has become for Sarah to rock Madeline in the dark while I pull a chair in and talk with Sarah about life until Madeline goes to sleep. It has been a good way to actually talk with Sarah about life rather than our standard running around chasing tasks or sitting watching DVDs. But Sarah did go out to dinner tonight and Madeline tried to revolt when I went to put her to bed. The various activities prior to sleep including taking 3000 licks on a tootsie roll pop before I needed to bite into it for her to get her to finish it, reading books and watching a baby Einstein video in bed, a trip downstairs for an orange juice, then rocking with her while screaming that she wanted mommy until a few minutes later she suddenly and inexplicably instantly fell asleep.

October 03, 2007

Do you want more friends?

This morning I was in the middle of a very nice dream when I was forced awake by a horrible sound that Sarah had managed to get the printer to make. I thought a jack hammer was being used outside. Madeline then awoke next to me and after Sarah entered the room in a panic about the printer we all had a quick chat about whether mommy, daddy, or Madeline would fit into the crack between the bed and the wall. I told Madeline that her doll would fit into it which we tested and discovered would work. So Madeline decided that it would also be interesting to see if her toy penguin would fit into the crack and wandered back into her room to get it. Then she started going back and forth to bring each of her dolls and toys back to our bedroom. In the middle of doing this transfer she asked me, referring to her dolls -

"Do you want more friends daddy?"

September 03, 2007

Summer photos finally up

I finally got around to posting the photos from this summer. I was aghast to see that I had photos from our trip to Disney World in May that I hadn't managed to post. They are all in the photo library with a bunch of new dates.

August 21, 2007

Rubber mulch

On Sunday morning we decided that we would have a little ceremony to inaugurate our new house in Newton. So Sarah and I invited our parents over for a tour of the empty home. We bought some orange juice without pulp so that we could make mimosas. Venkat had given me a basic picture of the ritual in an Indian household on Friday. They put milk onto a burner and cook it until it boils over spilling over the stove. Then you put rice into the milk and make rice pudding. Our plan seemed simpler but lacked the tradition of a milk worshipping culture. Venkat also mentioned that when coming to the US that people are given instructions on names that wouldn’t culturally work well despite being very popular in India. The one he pointed out in particular was Gopi.

Jeremy has been having nightmares lately. He told me one of his nightmares was that bugs were eating his feet. Maybe it’s the season but I had nightmares on Saturday night as well. The first nightmare I was in Vegas at a key conference for my business. While doing a printout through the computer I somehow accidentally requested that all of the money in my life savings accounts be liquidated as cash to be output in another room as $100 bills. I then was running around for the rest of the nightmare trying to get the money back where it belonged. I probably would never have remembered the dream but later in the dream I had Madeline in a backpack and she fell out of the backpack backwards onto the ground from the height of where I was standing onto a hard marble floor. In the dream she instantly died when she hit the floor. It was too much to sleep through so I woke-up. It’s not tough to analyze that with buying a home, having a start-up in the middle of lots of negotiations, and having a child under 2 years old – I have some natural anxiety about money and safety. The cats that keep me up at night don’t even have to work that hard.

Sarah and I arrived about a half hour early for the ceremony at the house on Sunday morning and I was still a bit freaked out from the nightmares. To keep Madeline occupied I went outside to swing her on the playground. She likes to order who goes on which color swing, with her on the red one and me on the yellow one swinging at the same time. I hadn’t thought she would be able to use the swings but we had lightly tested her on a set while returning from Bar Harbor and she was able to hold the chains. On Saturday night we had gone to the Park by Zaftigs, which now has a totally new mural, and she had swung on those. The child next to us was about a year older and kept asking her mother to swing her “super high” and Madeline was interested in going to such a height but I kept her at a reasonable safe height and counseled her that the “super high” height was for older kids. So I was swinging her on Sunday morning on a beautiful cool summer day and she wasn’t too high but for some reason she let go of the chains while on an upswing and fell backwards onto her back landing with her back flat on the hard backyard ground faster than I could think to catch her.

Madeline was shocked and hurt so she wanted Sarah for comfort. The fall looked innocuous since she fell with a uniform distribution on her back and only from the height of the smallest swing, about a foot. But she was upset for about an hour as both sets of parents arrived for the event. Sarah was rocking with her and we all were concerned that she might pass out with a concussion or head injury so when she got tired and started to close her eyes Sarah kept her awake. We gave up on the mimosas and as Madeline settled into more normal behavior we drove the half-mile to the Atrium for a Cheesecake Factory brunch.

After brunch we went up to the play space and we couldn’t help but note the very cushy foam floor that was installed there. It squashes under your feet like you are walking on a piece of hard memory foam bedding. The idea is that the mall doesn’t want any falls by the kids climbing around on their play equipment. I got a recommendation that I’ll be following-up on shortly to install rubber mulch under the swing-set both for Madeline’s safety and any other kids who might want to play on the swings. It cushions falls up to 9 feet. They sell it by the pallet for $500 per pallet at Home Depot. We may also buy a swing with a back to it for her and a baby swing for her sibling we are expecting in January. After reading the book on medical errors, Internal Bleeding, I and other parents need to take the fall by Madeline as a warning sign and fix things before it happens again. Other folks could also consider this event as a reason to put safety mulch under their backyard swings and take other precautions.

I’m looking forwards to an end to nightmares but I’ll need to be more vigilant when I am awake. The nightmares give me practice drills for things I need to be careful of. Life doesn’t come with an instruction manual about this stuff.

August 17, 2007

Purple moo cow farted on the tv

Madeline's development marches forwards. She has become very attached to watching the Baby Shakespeare video which she calls "Purple moo cow farted on the TV". Her favorite scene is when the purple cow walks into a pasture with two normal looking cows then farts. Seth Godin would be proud to see that the purple cow is the most memorable and preferred, even in to a toddler. It does have to fart though. In the scene the normal cows are disgusted and walk away. A butterfly then flies down from above and is also disgusted and flys away. The scene is only about 30 seconds long but I think that Madeline could watch it a few thousand times and still find new meaning in it. The good thing is that it is at the end of the movie so she needs to watch the rest of the contents first before getting her treat. Oddly, the scene after the purple cow is a model train and the contrast and frustration that the scene she likes is over is so great that Madeline calls out "Don't like it - train".

For the past couple of days we have been trying to transition her from only being willing to go to sleep with Sarah rocking her to letting me put her to bed. Somehow over the past month Madeline has become more fiesty and difficult about this process and Sarah had taken over all going to bed duties. But this is not optimal so we are trying to modify Madeline's behavior to be more adaptable which in turn gives everyone more flexibility. So Madeline threw a tantrum just when we talked about having me rock her to sleep. So Sarah left the room with a crying baby and my solution was to feed her an M&M. Madeline then proceeded to split the M&M into three pieces. She ate one piece. She gave one piece to me. The third piece she commanded was for mommy and let me know that we had to deliver it personally by leaving her bedroom. So the M&M wasn't successful but I went for my new secret weapon. Madeline can't NOT be entertained if I sing the "Two little monkees sitting on the bed one fell off and he bumped his head" song accompanied by abuse of a stuffed animal where I either throw the animal in the air and let it fall or just knock the animal onto it's head. We played that for about 30 minutes. Then I sang her the "I'm a little teacup" book. Then I gave her a synopsis of my day which promptly had her snoring.

August 10, 2007

Expecting a baby boy in 2008 in Newton

Sarah and I have been keeping it quiet for a while now but in the past two weeks we have broken the news to most people who need to know. Sarah is pregnant again and is due in early January. If all goes well we’ll have a tax deduction for 2007. We already know the gender. The baby should be a boy. This helps us to plan room allocations for the new house we are moving into at the end of the month. The two children’s rooms are decorated today in boy and girl colors so we can place Madeline in the one with girl colors and the boy in the one with boy colors without having to paint the rooms. Somehow this is a great comfort to us to know that we don’t need to modify wall colors amidst a flurry of other issues we need to deal with to migrate from the condo into the house. The closing is next Wednesday. The HVAC will be installed starting on Thursday. Someone offered us a swing set that we’ll have moved by Thursday. Two weeks later, three weeks from now, the moving van will appear and take us to Newton.

July 23, 2007

Singing to her own tune (twinkle twinkle)

Madeline cracked the code on our song list recently. Most songs we sing on a regular basis come from the same basic tune. ABC, Twinkle Twinkle, and Bah Bah Black Sheep are essentially the same song. So Madeline has been busy working out transitions between them like A,B,C,D ha’ you any wool and Twinkle Twinkle little star now I know my A, B, Cs. The most interesting was when she decided to come-up with her own song. I tried to switch the song to the itsy bitsy spider but Madeline sung out “How about acorn?” and then proceeded to sing, to the tune of twinkle, etc. “Acorn, Acorn, how you are? Acorn Acorn how you are?” It isn’t much for a first lyrical effort but it was fun to hear her make up her own song. She has gotten a stronger will. Last week she asked me for a cookie so I said “How about a carrot?” She replied “How about a cookie daddy?”

June 09, 2007

The end of the tunnel

We have been reading the Roger Priddy book about new experiences for a few months now. It seems to be one of Madeline's favorites. Two chapters are devoted to using the potty and toilet so we have begun working on the potty training since she can recite, whether she knows what it means or not, that a potty is for pee-pee and poo-poo. Today we had her wandering around without her diaper and had convinced her that if she were to produce something that a reward of a lollipop would be shortly forthcoming. So while chatting online with DK and not paying too much attention to Madeline she walked-up to me with a spoon from her tea set letting me know that she had on it a sample of the poop that had been created in her potty. While many people would be dismayed on being delivered a spoon full of poop I was very excited. I quickly gave her a chocolate mint from the fridge that she was happy to get, congratulated her with Sarah, and did a celebratory dance together. It is some form of hope that we are almost done with the diaper phase although one poop does not mean a trained child.

March 26, 2007

Is the hard part over yet?

While walking at the Arboretum last week Sarah and I passed a pair of experienced mothers who asked how old Madeline was. We said she is now 17 months old. They congratulated us for having almost gotten over the hump where things start to get easier. Their benchmark was that things get easier after 18 months as the baby increases independence. I have yet to see the easier side of things. We are having more fun doing things like completing verses of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, recognizing letters and numbers like the number three that hangs on our apartment door, drawing with crayons, and modeling adult behavior... but easier hasn't happened yet. Madeline still likes to get a lot of attention before sleeping. You can't just put her into the crib awake because if you do she'll get so worked up with frustration that it could add an extra thirty minutes onto the time to get her calmed down back to sleep. She still likes to toss food from her chair to the floor. She fights being changed or dressed. She needs constant attention because she doesn't enjoy many activities alone. But we are having a great time and answering questions like did you do anything fun this weekend with a stock answer of 'huh?'

March 04, 2007

Skymall shopping and new words

While on the plane traveling on Delta earlier this week to the HIMSS conference and back I managed to browse through the whole SkyMall catalog. Delta had managed to screw-up my flights on Monday so that I was in transit from Boston to New Orleans from 9:00 AM to 10:00 PM EST including some fun two hours after boarding the plane in Boston watching my connection slowly get missed. Then once on the ground in Atlanta I got called by Aaron as he got onto the next flight on stand-by while I was waiting in line to figure out whether to go to Mobile Alabama on a 9PM flight then rent a car in a city where there were no remaining cars at the airport. Luckily I did manage to get on the 7:50 flight, the third standby that I had waited for and finally arrived in New Orleans to find that my hotel room had been cancelled so that Aaron and I needed to bunk together with a bed on the floor for me. The important thing in all of this is that I had plenty of time for my computer to power up and down and learn that I need to power down rather than close my machine and that led me to my reading the entire SkyMall catalog.

While most products today are blah I found three that were of interest. Two of the solutions were cat related. Until I had a cat I didn’t realize how many unsolved cat problems people had. For example the cat litter box is a terrible thing to have to look at and the cat likes to sit in the litter then spread it all about the kitchen floor. The folks in this catalog created a litter box that looks like a large vase with a plant on the top. The cat can climb into it and you don’t have to look at or smell the cat litter. Furthermore it helps to keep the cat litter from getting strewn all around.

Cats have a nasty habit of using their claws on a brand new mattress at 2-6 AM while people are trying to sleep. While scientists have split the atom they haven’t come-up with a viable solution to this problem that I know of. They invented the scratching post but for some reason the cat would prefer to use the mattress because of the fun and silly things I will do in response like spraying her with a bottle of water, free shower, feeding her, or locking her in the bathroom. But finally they invented a scratching post that dispenses treats so that the cat learns that the post is the right thing to scratch.

All of that innovation was also combined with adult pajamas with feet. Who wouldn’t want that?

The Midwest Airlines people don’t want to be acquired because they take pride in their luxury services. The PR person when interviewed stated that Midwest Airlines “considers themselves to be in the service business, not in the moving people around in a metal cylinders business”.

So now I am riding on a Delta flight again. This time to Utah to go skiing with the Falkoffs. I watched Rocky Balboa on the plane. It’s the movie predicted from the Airplane series with an elderly Rocky fighting. I liked the movie but I would have changed the ending. I think they should have had him die in the ring rather than winning his last fight. I realize that Stallone wouldn’t let a Rocky movie have a dark ending but it would have been the best way to close the story. The reason why I would have Rocky die in the ring is that the movie is about how he lost his wife Adrian and he has a hole in his life because of it. The theme would be more about how people can’t live without the things that you love. It would be more adult than the other Rocky themes where the underdog always triumphs in the end. It would show that Stallone had matured and not decided to recycle old material with a little twist. But they did what they did so I can only think of what it could have been.

Lately Madeline has been a happy baby who laughs and smiles most of the time. She has her fits but she likes to play games like tent. Tent is when we hide under the covers in the bed. We then can make the tent dark by closing off the light or light. She can climb in and out of the tent. When we are playing it she giggles and smiles and calls out her requests for dark and if she gets out of the tent she calls out more, more, more. It is also easy to make her laugh by dropping things onto her like her hat or my gloves while she is in the stroller. She loves it when I pick her up and lift and bounce her on the couch then let her fly above me as I hold her with both hands and spin.

Madeline had been wanting a potty after hearing so much about it in books. We brought it home. She sat on it and then we had something in it. This was about three weeks ago now and it hasn’t happened since. Beginners luck. Lately we have seen a number of dolls, stuffed animals, and balloons piled high on top of the potty. Her play style is to want to have her play objects all ride together. Among the new toys she has is a small toy stroller and it is piled high with whatever she can find on a regular basis.

Here are some words she now speaks (sorta): and just what I can remember
Ball, balloon, more, Madema (Madeline – probably my favorite thing to ask her to say), momma, daddy, bagel, cheese, juice, cup, pppp (grape), nana (banana), meow (cat), U (orange/clementine), doll, moo (cow), bock-bock-bock (chicken), sss (snake), owl, bye-bye, tent, dark, yeah, no-no, uh-oh, nurse, brrr (cold), hot-hot, yum, up, down, belle (Annabelle), dog, pot (potty), car, psss (pee), duh-duh (I have no idea what that means but she says it)

January 23, 2007

Bring me things that go

Before the football game on Sunday I figured I would test Madeline's ability to understand what I was saying. I asked her to "bring me the happy baby words things that go book". She toddled into her room, rustled through the bookshelf and returned with that exact book. I read it to her and then asked her to bring me "Goodnight moon" and once again she rustled around and returned with the right book. So that means she understands much more than she can say. How much I'll never know but it was an illuminating moment to see her able to understand so much.

Unfortunately the Pats lost the game due to some unfortunate playing in the second half allowing Payton Manning to come back from a 21-3 deficit. But it had to happen sooner or later.

January 02, 2007

Warning labels on trees

I had my last experience with my first Christmas tree today. At least I think the tree has reached the end of it’s life. We left it up for our little New Year’s Eve get together with Sarah’s sister, Nick, Matt and Kate. The idea was to leave things festive for the evening. So it smelled of pine while we played electronic Taboo and a hearty game of Apples to Apples. Unfortunately for us a late night with lots of wine drinking rapidly becomes an early morning with a demanding baby looking for food attention and fighting off new diapers or a much needed bath. So Monday morning was filled with a headache combined with some baby crying. Sarah and I took it easy for the day by driving out for lunch at Charley’s at the Chestnut Hill Mall and then returning home. I didn’t really feel human until I drank my second iced tea and had a chunk of bread. Madeline was a champ with the crayons though making drawings that looked like dashes both on the paper and in the table. We rented some videos and watched Accepted.

Madeline went to sleep but despite being exhausted I couldn’t really sleep after the movie so I was reading my Murakami book. Then at about 11 O’Clock Madeline started crying. So we tried to calm her down by bringing her into the bed. But she was just bothering Sarah and kicking us a lot while we watched Superman II hoping she would fall asleep. When we gave up on getting her to fall asleep we placed her in her crib where she proceeded to make awful sad crying noises for about twenty minutes. The melodrama of a baby crying because they don’t want to be in a crib is hard to bear. It sounds like some medieval torturer with a lack of mercy is torturing your baby in the other room and she is crying out for help. So we ignored the cries until they quieted down and then when they went silent I fell asleep for a few moments only to be overwhelmed by the fear that the reason she had been crying so much was that there must be something wrong like the cat had suffocated her to make her quiet. So I went into her room to check on her and it startled her so she was awake once again.

Sarah left me in charge of the problem since I was responsible for the second awakening of the little one. So I tried a host of techniques recommended in popular magazines and that I had seen work for other family members or baby sitters like rocking in the chair, singing popular children’s songs, giving her a dropper full of Tylenol, holding her on my shoulder and swinging back and forth in a soothing pattern, offering her some juice to drink. None of this worked and she could be used as a Geiger counter for identifying her crib since every time I got close to it she would raise her voice exponentially. So I gave up and decided to just play along with it. We started with playing with the Tylenol bottle. It has a dropper on the end and she was biting on it but found it much more funny to feed it to me and watch me chew and suck on it. So we played that game for a while. Then I read her a story. Then we went into the other room where the miniature Christmas tree is and we removed, reapplied, and dropped the mini gold ornaments on it about 1000 times. My one stroke of genius was that after she dropped the whole tree off the counter (it is only about a foot high and made out of plastic), I reached over and noticed that I could pull the power cord out of the tree while picking it up along with the ornaments that she had dropped. So we found darkness again at about 3:00 AM. Finally at about 4:00 AM, as the sun was rising,, we went back into her room and I managed to rock myself to sleep only to find her asleep in my arms when I awoke.

So as I was driving home Sarah mentioned that it would be helpful if I were to take the Christmas tree downstairs because it is garbage day tomorrow and we already removed all of the ornaments from it. As a first time Christmas tree owner I had no idea what this entailed. Just walking through the room with the tree left a hurricane of pine needles, attached sap to my hands, and had branches breaking off on every piece of furniture. When I got to the door to the apartment the nine foot tree neither fit through the door nor would it hold on to about 50% of it’s needles so a storm of needles fell on either side of the door. I then dragged it down the stairs brushing against each banister freeing the remaining needles and smaller branches as I made my way out of the building. Finally I threw it in on the curb, looked at it amazed that there was any green part of it left attached and returned to review the path of pine destruction I had made on my way. I then spent the next hour and a half trying to sweep the hallway, clean the scraps off the floor, vacuum wherever the pine needles could be found, including my ear, and pour out the sappy water in the base that held it into the sink.

I did enjoy my first tree. Too bad I wasn’t more alert when I took it out. Luckily Madeline still has that little fake one to play with. And with this vacation done I am ready to get back to some relaxing work.

December 18, 2006

Old McDonald had a farm

I was struck this evening that Old McDonald had a farm may be the next big song for driving in the car.

DK posted his pics of kilimanjaro and triplets

I finally noticed that Dave K. had posted the pictures of our trip to Kilimanjaro. I was looking because his sister Ranu just had triplets and I was checking because he had those photos up. Any time Sarah and I feel a bit overwhelmed with one baby we should imagine three all at once.

Congrats to the four new babies in the world that I know. Dave's sister and her husband Mike had three and Jeremy's sister Amy and her husband also had a girl. We are looking forwards to meeting two or three new friend babies in the upcoming year.

In honor of all of this Sarah and I watched the Hugh Grant movie Nine Months last night. The credits roll and show all of the actors in it as babies. You could tell who was who (Robin Williams, Hugh Grant, Jeff Goldblum, Tom Arnold, Julianne Moore, and Joan Cusack) without the titles.

Madeline is pretty excited and dancing around daily to the tunes of Sesame street and multiple versions including my own made-up one of "The Wheels on the Bus". If I could just find another song as long as Wheel's on the bus and as easy to remember that has equal entertainment value I would be psyched. The beauty of that song is that it lasts forever when I want to quiet an angry little girl in the back seat. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, The Itsy Bitsy Spider, and Row-Row-Row Your Boat can be sung as a medley and it still only seems to work for about two or three minutes.

December 05, 2006

No no no

Lately Madeline has gotten quite familiar with her children's books. I have noticed that the books we have that she likes have a strong bias towards listing things that just aren't quite right. The one she knows by heart is a book about what kisses sound like where a sound like ring, ring, ring isn't the sound of a kiss. So you ask "Does your kiss sound like 'ring ring ring'. Her answer is to shake her head back and forth and say 'No No No'. Then I say "That's not a kiss that's a telephone." Then we have the book about a bunch of puppies that isn't the right puppy because it is has feet that are too bumpy. Another book has three little pigs that say "tra la la" and then corrects someone to tell them that pigs say "oink". The "Dear Zoo" book has a child asking for an animal and the zoo sends a number of inappropriate animals like a grumpy camel, fierce lion, or naughty monkey. The result of all of these negative books is that Madeline knows how to say "No No No" and shake her head.

November 27, 2006

November Madeline news and new pics

Madeline is not only walking but avoiding objects instead of tripping over them. She asks for her Tom Brady jersey frequently pulling out of the laundry or wherever she finds it. She loves bubbles and can say 'buh-buh' but more importantly calls Sarah and me mama and dada consistently.

The latest pictures from the past month are now live. They are in the following albums:
  20061125: A trip to Gymboree in Needham
  20061124: Thanksgiving celebrations at two houses and some Sarah birthday celebrations
  20061120: Chilling out at home after getting a new alphabet foam pad. Some Tom Brady jersey wearing
  20061117: Madeline living with a black eye from falling out of the crib
  20061110: Goofing around at home and at Brueggers
  20061031: The night of halloween travelling and sleeping in a Bruschi jersey

November 17, 2006

Black eyed pea

On Sunday morning the cat was mewing in an odd way. She was either alerting us of something or trying to taunt Madeline in the other room. The next thing we heard was the dreaded thump. Madeline had managed to pull herself up and out of her crib head first. The basic cause of this was my own ineptitude at having not lowered the crib to the lowest setting earlier. So this week Madeline has had a black eye from the fall. The pediatrician said she should be fine. She didn't show any symptoms of a head injury like vomiting, dizziness, or excessive sleepiness. If anything she didn't notice that she had fallen after the initial shock wore off. But for the week she has been our black eyed pea and she will remain black eyed for the forseeable future.

November 10, 2006

Look who's talking

This morning I put Madeline to the test while she was in her high chair eating breakfast. "Madeline where is the dog?". She turns around to look at the picture of a pug dog and says duh-duh. "Madeline where are the butterflies?" She turns the other way looking at a metal mobile of butterflies hanging from the ceiling and says buh-buh. "Madeline where is daddy?" She turns to look at me and says da-da. "Madeline where is mommy?" She turns to Sarah and says "Muh-Muh".

Brilliant.

October 30, 2006

Turtle costume pictures

I took an excessive number of pictures of Madeline wearing her Baby Style turtle Halloween outfit during our walk in the arboretum on Sunday. Here are the pics.

October 24, 2006

Happy 1st Birthday Madeline (and dad is 33)

On Saturday we had the big celebration of the birthdays. When she was born I was wondering how the birthday proximity situation would work out. It is like being twins but born 32 years apart and with a little more focus on one twin than the other. I like being the less focused on birthday person. The cake read – Happy Birthday Madeline and Daddy. Madeline was responsible for blowing out the single candle but she wasn’t likely to be able to figure out what to do. Luckily Judy sneezed and accidentally blew out the candle or we would have waited until Madeline finally figured out how to grab the candle while lit and tried to eat it.

That first year makes a big difference in the life of a one year old. She has changed from being unable to keep her head-up to a very solid walker. When she was born she would keep us up all night with a shrill cat like newborn cry. Now we just hear the cat at night mostly. Another big difference is the way that she goes to sleep. It used to be that if she was placed in her crib with no nursing or other aid to sleep she would cry incessantly until she was aided to sleep. Now when she is having trouble getting to sleep with us we place her in the crib, close the door, and walk away. It is like baking brownies in the oven. She goes to sleep on her own, if she is tired, within a few minutes.

Lately everything is a “GA”. I have found that as Madeline discovers language she lacks the basic understanding that different things have different names. So she will use the same name for multiple things. So she often will point to the ceiling, a dog, a cat, a toy, or some food and say “GA”. It is the universal noun for her. She also has taken the word for banana and when in a supermarket passing through the produce section will say “Na-Na-Na” until she is provided with either a banana or grapes. Recently we switched from feeding her grapes cut in half to the whole grape. It greatly reduces the time to prepare grapes to feed her. I think she prefers grapes over most fruits and even over cheese. It is nearly an insatiable appetite in comparison to other foods.

I am quite happy to have Madeline developing her language, dexterity, and personality skills. I feel as though lately we are more intellectually connected as we do things like working together to place the plastic rectangle into the castle with a hole for each shape or banging a ball with a plastic mallet through a hole into a ball run. On Saturday she started feeding her bear cup a part of her bagel into the mouth of the cup. So I opened my mouth and she fed me part of the bagel. I can see that light of understanding the world dawning within her and I get to be along for the ride to observe it. I’m sure within a few years I’ll be on a quiz show with her questioning everything including why there are words but this year with some conversations with Madeline it might be even more interesting than the last one.

October 22, 2006

1 candles

So I turn 33 today. Madeline has her first birthday tomorrow but we are all celebrating a hodge-podge of birthdays, anniversaries, harvest, pagan, and Indian holidays today. I’m surprised we aren’t getting Madeline dressed in her turtle Halloween costume. Maybe we should bring it? I am hoping this birthday isn’t like that 16 candles birthday. I watched part of that movie last weekend and continually thought how in retrospect Anthony Michael Hall deserved an Oscar for best actor for his performance. But maybe I’m just a little too ready to empathize with the ‘80s high school freshman geek who transcends geekdom by going after glory by betting his friends he can get Molly Ringwald’s underwear. But I do think it was under appreciated in its time. So for my birthday I bought myself an 800GB Seagate Barracuda internal drive. I don’t know how to install it but it can’t be as complex as putting a supercharger in a car. It will be a fun little project for me and can make space for video storage. I probably should have gotten a DVD burner along with it but I’ll get to that next year.

Madeline is wandering about in her birthday dress with yesterday’s salt and pepper grinders from our steak dinner and managed to find an old Ibuprofen pill on the floor of our bedroom. I took it away from her. It is quite hard to be fully baby proofed. In a few more years she will be able to open the bottle herself! But the real treat of the day was that Sarah told me that as I walked past Madeline in her high chair she said “DaDa”.

October 20, 2006

Sleepless without a book

Go figure that I would have trouble sleeping now that Madeline is starting to reliably sleep through the night. Part of the problem is this darkness that comes in the fall. It isn’t even the shortest day of the year yet but even last night I was wandering around in the dark to exchange the movies and to pick up our Indian food at Rani. It was only about six thirty. Sarah is one of the people who can’t wait for daylight savings time so that she will see light when she gets rolling to work at 7AM but as soon as that happens it will be dark at about 5:30 or even 5:00. But I can’t exactly make a rational claim that I am unable to sleep properly due to increases in the length of night. In theory it ought to help. I normally would be reading my Tom Wolf book now but I stumbled around the condo for a few minutes trying to hunt it down in the dark without any luck. With three rooms and two occupied by sleeping people it left me with one room that was searchable with light and even then I had to remain quiet.

Annabelle is awake with me at 4:30 AM. She doesn’t appear to sleep until nobody is looking. As a nocturnal creature she is quite happy to have company. Unfortunately her idea of fun is to turn my world into a low budget haunted house by popping out of corners to bite or paw at me then return into the darkness. Annabelle is a kitten still which has been a challenge with Madeline because the cat has far too much nervous energy to expend. Today I pushed Annabelle off of the chair when the food came to keep her from riding her snout through the Chicken Tikka-Masala and afterwards for the next twenty minutes she had that Lou Ferigno/Incredible Hulk rage look about her. She was pissed off. So then we tried to eat dinner and let Madeline wander in the living room to do fun things like change the DVD. On Wednesday we were watching American Dad and Madeline managed to switch the DVD player to a cheesy CD starting with The Wheels on The Bus prompting a 30 minute sing and dance-along. Last night I watched the angry cat with fur bristling wait and hunt for Madeline until finally she pounced from behind scaring Madeline into the cry that led her into Sarah’s arms for the sleep inducing nursing.

I had thought up until recently that I was chump-change in Madeline’s eyes relative to Sarah. Since Sarah has the whole nursing thing working in her favor, spends a little more time with Madeline, and is a mother I thought that Madeline might even get annoyed when Sarah left me alone with her. But the past two times the baby sitters came (Phoebe on Tuesday and Julia yesterday, Madeline started crying as soon as she saw the babysitter and clung to my leg to show that she was very comfortable with me. So I sat in the rocking chair with her on my lap and she calmed down. On Tuesday we all walked to Brueggers and I parted after my morning bagel. Thursday I co-watched the Vincent Van Goat video with Julia on the couch slipping out at a choice funny moment when the cactuses were dancing. The important thing to note here is that Madeline seems to put me fairly high on the hierarchy of people that she is comforted by. I must admit a certain pleasure in being more attractive as a caretaker than the babysitter. I’m loved?

I feel a nasty cold coming on with a sore throat congested sinus and light headedness. It’s raining outside and according to some guy who planned a memorial golf tournament tomorrow it will rain all day on Friday. I don’t know what a memorial golf tournament is but I’m assuming it memorializes someone who died. Plenty of people probably say to their friends – “If I die why don’t you get 16 people together and figure out who is the best golfer in my name”. Personally I would hope to have enough friends and family to have a memorial capture the flag tournament. I’m not talking one quick game but a round robbin 10 team 20 person per team tournament with each team taking a name that relates to my life – like the ChannelWave team or the Improv team. I should sleep or replace fluids or something. I hope my cold doesn’t last too long. It probably won’t kill me.

October 17, 2006

UK urged me to get back in writing form

Today is some heritage foundation event in the UK where they are trying to collect a day in the life of the UK. I heard that on the radio while driving towards Needham this morning. They are planning on getting non-bloggers to write what they did today and submit it to their archive so that historians have the content in 100 years to learn things about how we lived today. It reminded me that I haven’t been able to write lately given all of the business of shuttling through life. So I’ll attempt to get back into the groove of things for the Brits. I might even send them some info from across the pond.

The last two days have been marked by a choice for movies that involved some depressing thoughts. The first was Interview with a Vampire. It was a pretty bad movie in terms of the acting or directing. It left me with the impression either that the book by Anne Rice must be much better than the movie OR that the book itself must be melodramatic and stupid. I just didn’t get into or feel any empathy for any of the characters. Then last night we watched Kids. Sarah had originally stated that we needed something less dramatic and a light comedy but changed her mind for whatever reason. Kids was the kind of movie where towards the middle of it I started to think to myself – I can’t wait for this to end. For me, the father of a soon to be one year old baby, watching children in New York with various drug usage and abusive sexual situations was very traumatic. I may have been better off watching a horror movie like Saw, Hostel, or some other graphic disturbing piece of content. Jeremy had asked me why I wanted to see it a few weeks back but I wasn’t dissuaded. I won’t try hard to dissuade other people from seeing it but it is quite a traumatic experience to watch it. In the interest of dissuading people from watching a movie I recommend that nobody rents the Butterfly Effect II. I saw the first one and when I saw that a sequel had been made at Hollywood Video I nearly went berserk running along the aisles knocking DVDs onto the floor or pulling the tape out of VHS cassettes. I refrained.

The main delay and hubbub causing my writing stoppage were the two weddings from the past two weeks combined with a trade show, marketing activities, and taking on some new work with Peter. Madeline hasn’t become the ideal sleeper that Ozzie and Harriet had yet. Last night she threw a little party for us at 11 PM to 1 AM. I got a chance to watch some TV on the recently hooked-up HD antennae on the roof. I don’t get channel 7 so I couldn’t watch Monday Night Football. Instead I watched some awful night version of a daytime television show where a video game developer was in love with some woman (good looking) about to marry a man (also good looking). The story had something to do with cheating on New Year’s Eve but I was mainly just trying to get Madeline to calm into sleep. Madeline is mobile enough to open doors and she opened the door to our bedroom while Sarah was trying to sleep. So Sarah went to nurse her as Seinfeld came on in the living room. I decided to go back to sleep rather than watch Seinfeld as a sign of solidarity with Sarah in our fight to achieve a regular sleep balance.

Saturday night was Hattie and Jose’s wedding. They were married at Trinity church in Copley. Madeline was sent out to Bedford for the night. The main result of that was a question from Sarah’s mother to ask us if we knew what “DaDaKiDa” meant. We don’t. But Madeline has picked-up some new language tricks. My favorite one is that the sign for time to go is to do the basketball traveling penalty sign followed by a tapping on an imaginary watch. I noticed when Madeline is a little bored or ready to leave where she is she will tap her wrist impatiently. It’s quite endearing to see and better than the normal squawks and shrieks we hear most of the time.

Today Annie Leibowitz was on the radio hawking her new book of photographs including a large number of personal photos of her family and Susan Sontag dying. It reminded me when Kate told me at the wedding that as a graphic designer that she shouldn’t be using stock photography but instead should use original photo art. At first I thought she felt that I should show her how to use a camera at which point I told her I could teach her everything I knew in a few minutes. Then she clarified that I should do some artistic photography and send her the photos as possible art for her graphic design work. I told her my main work is focused on countless shots of family members growing older and that I was less of an artist than someone who struggles with the concept of passing time, aging, and who clings to the positive or emotional memories of life. Maybe that’s what a photographer is anyways. I did let her know that I felt the plain blue stained glass with a shadow threefold of gargoyles at Trinity behind the pews would have made a good photograph if I had remembered to bring my camera into the church. Maybe I’d benefit greatly from some photography classes or to read a book about photography. I could benefit from almost anything to escape the humdrum of my regular routine.

My brand new Canon Elph camera broke only a day after I got it in the mail. It is already on it’s way back to Canon-land for repairs. It may not have been a great idea to take it out at Lisa and Dave’s wedding while partying hard near the dance floor but I’ll stick by the story that they should fix it because it is under warrantee and I didn’t even jump into the Colorado river or go caving with it.

Lisa and Dave’s wedding was a beautiful sunny fall day. The ceremony was in the Newton Centre Playground. Having it there made it hard for me not to raise memories from being 10-18. I basically used that park as a backyard for those years and remember meeting girls I had crushes on while sitting on a bench only a few feet away from where the ceremony was across from the hut where I had gone to camp one summer. We had swung on the swings cross country skied over jumps on the sledding hill. I ran home sweaty in my father’s button-up shirt after singing “Cheese glorious cheese” with the chorus of the Mason Rice School. I walked both alone and with friends on fences . Ray, our German shepherd jumped over the fence repeatedly. Some Chinese kid threatened to make me eat a worm. So I was thinking of these things along with random thoughts of what to say during my role as a toast giver during the backyard reception. The reception did borrow my well crafted and invented description of the meaning of the Chuppah.
…..
As always.. I ran out of time to chronicle things. Maybe next time…It’ll all be clear in the pictures of the weddings as soon as I can get them out.

October 04, 2006

Flight into Sacramento

I finally got around to watching it again on the flight out to Sacramento. I had hoped to watch Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas the last trip out to Vegas with Jeremy but I had been unable to find it at the local Hollywood video store. What I had failed to realize was that it wasn’t in drama or horror. It was filed in comedy. So when I was rifling for some replacement content for Sarah while I was away I found the film and it gave me something to occupy me as I was traveling to my 1 hour layover in Vegas en route to Sacramento.

Among the things that I noticed on this second viewing were the cameos. I wasn’t sure whether they were cameos or just actors in the film before they became famous. Cameron Diaz was a reporter in an elevator and Spiderman, Tobey Macguire, was a hitchhiker that they scared away. The film was as much horror as it was a comedy which is why I like it. Of course I am a big fan of the book because it is so grotesque in it’s hyperbolic descriptions of a drug trip in Vegas. It made me nice and anxious to watch it knowing I would be in Vegas and off on a three day trip with Lisa getting married on Saturday.

Things are looking great. Madeline has been continuing to progress on schedule with many confident walking steps. While she can only do four to five steps at a time before stumbling over she walks with confidence into her falls. She almost looks like a comic trying to make a joke of walking while drunk. Andrew, Sarah’s brother, came by to grab some laundry that passed through us and he mentioned that children from the age of zero to six live life in a constant state of being on something akin to an LSD trip. Andrew happened to go for Halloween last year as none other than Dr. Hunter S. Thompson complete with a pair of glasses from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Depp?). I am not sure if the LSD story can be scientifically proven but Madeline does gurgle like a dinosaur a lot and seems to try to communicate with objects that are only apparent to her. She has begun to wave and today, Yom Kippur, enjoyed waving at Maestro whenever he barked in the other room.

My parents and I went with Madeline to the park and stopped at the swings as well as the kiddie playground. At the kiddie playground she enjoyed riding down the slide. Her fleece pullover generated enough static electricity against the plastic slide that her hair stood-up at the base of the slide. The kiddie playground had a foam soft floor that she worked-out on with much crawling and standing. She liked to stand near an object then walk towards it. One of her favorite objects to approach was the adult swings. She would grab a hold onto it and then awkwardly fall down because it was an unstable object. Some teenage girls with braces and non brand name pants with holes cut into them came by thinking it would be cool to try to swing on the special kids swing. Madeline watched them and was entertained. Their brothers or friends, a tall skinny acne faced boy and a little kid with a mohawk, then played a karate fight that Madeline was entranced by. The footage from the video camera partially captured much of this experience so hopefully I can effectively archive it to show to Madeline at some point when she is beyond her LSD trip youngest years.

Life is good on other fronts too. I am starting to do work with Peter on a marketing project for a recently funded venture backed start-up. I find the chance to focus and drive the business forwards in a scalable way a great little challenge. I am psyched at the opportunity to build a marketing plan and execute it. Plus I’m getting paid for it.

In other fronts we found one viable prospect to expand our healthcare warehouse practice. The prospect is in Cincinnati, which is a pain, but it looks like a good fit and they have a lot of interest in getting a solution put together if we can get them to trust that we are capable at providing one. I am on my way to Sacramento for a conference just on warehousing for healthcare so I am hoping there will be some good contacts and I can find some qualified prospects for putting together a product in this space.

Sarah and I keep vacillating about whether or not to move away from our current spot. Our searches in Brookline have led us to start to investigate Newton. We went to watch the Patriots game at Carl’s house, a lab friend of my dad’s. Carl has a son, Elias, who is about a month older than Madeline, so the idea was to have a play date and watch the game. It was great to see the Patriots whoop the Bengals after everyone saying that the Bengals were a great team that would be almost impossible to beat. Any given Sunday? But the Pats had a swagger and confidence in this game. They were scoring touch downs while the Bengals had trouble sneaking field goals in. Carl’s house is in Newton and despite having the same number of people as us, three, they have about ten times the amount of space. They bought the house as a fixer-upper but it was in generally good shape from what I could tell. They had been fixing it up already for a couple of years and it looked great. It made Sarah and I think that maybe Newton would be a more likely location for our next move.

The other thing that the fixer-upper made me think of was that we could do some serious home improvements on the Brookline condo like a new bathroom and kitchen plus some electrical work including a wall mounted flat screen TV and it would make the condo not bigger, but more livable. The thought was that if we do buy some Newton house we’ll have to do ten times that in renovations so why should we be afraid of doing renovations where we live now. All the neighbors who just moved into the building are busy fixing-up their new living spaces. Why not us?

I believe that among the reasons to think about these living space changes is that now that we are having gotten married and with a baby and such rapid changes it feels strange to start having things stand still. At some level things are becoming daily routines again and with so many changes it feels awkward as a change to have no changes. Granted we get our surprise all-nighters like on Thursday and Saturday night when Madeline decided she wanted to clank her stacking cups and press the buttons on the Winnie the Pooh surprises interactive song book, but in general things aren’t changing much and we are in the mode of always looking forwards rather than just living in today.

Everyone’s birthday is approaching. Madeline will be one. I will be 33. Sarah will be 31. Lisa and Dave will be married. Hattie and Jose will be married. Ilana will have a baby. Amy will have her second child. Kilimnik and Hillary will be working on their first baby.

Among the rentals, not Fear and Loathing, we picked-up The Girls Next Door. I learned that the Playboy mansion is on 9 acres. It made me think since the Marshfield house is on 11 acres. My family has 2 more acres than Hef’s mansion. Will we end-up like Hefner, living in some dream life?

We don’t take as much advantage of the house in Marshfield but we live well when we are there. Hopefully the momentum from the Homer street pre-wedding clean-up renovations will be enough to get the Marshfield renovation begun. After 23 years my father had a new driveway put in just in time for the wedding. Nick Falkoff is doubling as contractor and wedding planner. The funny thing is that it is a very good combination for those of us who believe that if you have a nice house that you can have a great wedding in your own back yard plus it is a perfect time to invest in a renovation. So a wedding cost can include fixing your house the way that you want it. Thus a wedding planner/home contractor is a perfect slash business.

Lisa and Dave are holed up in Marshfield right now panicking about the last minute preparations for their wedding and their CD release party the following day. I need to create a toast, which is causing me to shuffle through my memory back to when I was a child in Watertown, going through those supposed LSD years with my big sister in a room we shared sleeping in bunk beds, with a floor full of toys, and a ladder to the loft above. I’ll come up with something for Lisa. She is a hero of mine and she and Dave are a good pair. I’ll have to remember some facts about Dave. I wish I had more stories or spent more time with them.

But things are good and having broken the fast with Starbucks at 2PM and then eating a Blue Ribbon dinner of brisket at 5 PM I find myself on the plane missing my baby and thinking those thoughts that most all fathers think when they kiss their baby goodbye to then board a plane. I hope this plane or the one coming back doesn’t crash and I get home safely. I want to see my baby again soon and there is no goodbye that would be dramatic enough to capture a last one. So I kissed her and she had cried because her bottle was empty. I’ll see her again soon.

September 29, 2006

5 steps forward, one down, and a long night

Madeline was reported to have taken five full baby steps while standing on Tuesday night. Word travelled fast about it through the parent network such that I didn't need to tell either pair of parents about it before they knew. I didn't even have to write about it. Since I was unable to see this first hand and I was interested in capturing some first steps video I tried multiple times to coach Madeline to reproduce the feat. My attempts were failures because the likelyhood of her taking a step on cue while the camera is set-up and she is coached to standing is about one in five thousand, or about the same as peeling back the prize on a McDonalds cup and winning something significant like a happy meal. I also don't have a video camera. I was trying to use my old Canon Powershot and it is becoming slowly more and more unreliable. She did take a couple of steps for me while the camera wasn't rolling so I can confirm Sarah's assertion that she is starting to walk.

Yesterday amidst the shuffle of the afternoon while Sarah was on a cell phone call in the living room and I was staring at the ceiling in Madeline's bedroom Madeline discovered that the coffee table is also a dangerous object. She lost her balance and landed with her lip on the table. So the next thing I knew I was helping Sarah to clean blood coming out of her lip and pressing ice in a paper towel onto it. I was also the guy calling the pediatrician's office to ask the question of whether she needed to have stitches or not and getting pushed to an answering machine. It was a messy scene but the end result was that Maddie didn't need stitches but does have a gross looking fat lip.

The night didn't go as well as normal. Madeline awoke at about midnight and wouldn't return to sleep. I tried bringing her into the bedroom and she felt that it was playtime in the bed. Then Sarah and I each tried a turn at rocking her to sleep in her room but whenever either of us loaded her into the crib she awoke. We then returned her into the bed where she continued to try to play and make dinosaur noises. Next we tried sleeping on the floor with her in her room or at least sleeping while she played with the toys, stood-up, and made Godzilla noises and motions including banging stacking cups. Finally she went to sleep for about an hour and Sarah moved to the bed while I slept on the floor but she awoke again and I brought her back to the bed where she nursed to sleep. It felt like a pretty long night and I am sure we lost some key sleeping hours. It was the kind of night where Sarah was wondering how or why two children are possible for anyone.

BUT she is walking, falling, and partying all night long.

September 26, 2006

Email to the Baby Einstein corporation

To whom it may concern,

I am writing to complain about the Baby Wordsworth product that I purchased as a component of a box set. The problem that I have with it is the long trailer that has been inserted into the video for the "Little Einsteins" television show, the upcoming Disney Channel version of it, and the web site. I purchased these products as a way to educate my child and to expose her to positive learning experiences and this two minute long trailer is entirely inappropriate within this product. It is highly commercial, can't be fast forwarded, not relevant to an 11 month old, and prevents me from immediately playing the DVD that is appropriate for my daughter. I hope that Mrs. Clark recalls the fun of having an infant and the short bits of time available for doing something like starting a video while preparing for a day.

My recommendation to both the Disney Corporation and to the specific Baby Einstein corporation is to remove such trailers in the DVDs as well as to shorten the sequence from loading the DVD to when the actual DVD starts. Otherwise in the future people like us will recommend products that do so instead of these to our many friends who are about to be first time parents.

September 20, 2006

Dinner fun with the little one

At dinner tonight we were having a blast with Madeline playing the "Where is the" game. We added the feedback of clapping and massive approbation whenever Madeline figured out the item that we were asking her to find. She would clap along with us and had a grin on her face a mile wide.

September 17, 2006

Red hair was all they had left

People are always fascinated with red headed people. If a child has red hair then people are likely to ask them the question “Where did you get that red hair?” A neighbor of ours mentioned that one red headed child in their family was coached to reply: “That was all they had left.”

Madeline has been providing some interesting advances in her quest to evolve into a fully functioning human being. The first thing that I found was when I asked her what sound the sheep made she said “Bah Bah Bah”. She doesn’t have a need for much more than one consonant at time given that her vocabulary for speaking is about two words even if I include the “bah bah” as being the sound a sheep makes rather than a random coincidence. Most of what she says is a consonant followed by “Ah”. So she can say lah, lah, lah or nah, nah, nah (which we believe means hungry OR banana). The one exception is the word for cat which is just KKKKCHHHHCHHH. I was hoping to teach her to combine the word for cat with her la la stuff to say challah but upon asking her on a following day what sound a sheep made she looked at me with a blank stare.

The more important thing isn’t that she can speak some incomprehensible babble but that she can demonstrate basic comprehension of what we are saying and the world around her. Sarah showed this to me last night when she offered me the treat of watching the game – find that word. So Sarah would say – “Where is the fish” and Madeline would reach among the objects in her tray and grab a goldfish cracker. Then she would say “Where are your shoes?” and she would look down at her shoes. Or best of all “Where is daddy?” and she would look at me and smile.

Madeline also made the sign for a duck when looking at a duck picture. So we need to stop swearing and start realizing that our daughter is no longer likely to be even in a competition with a slime mold with regards to listening comprehension. It’s another exciting time. Everything in Madeline’s development is not going linear but instead going exponential right now. She is about to walk. She can express things. She can learn things. It’s just awesome.

We also bought a laser pointer for the cat who is unable to determine that it is an inanimate object. I can trick her into believing that the laser dot is hiding under the bed. This is probably the point in evolution where the baby starts to get payback for such slow development over the kitten and can become the master of her little world.

September 11, 2006

Standing proud and getting knocked down

Among the most cost-efficient toys with regards to entertainment hours per dollar, other than the free ones like an old box, has been the cat’s mouse on a fishing rod toy. Both Annabelle and Madeline enjoy the toy. Madeline is able to hold the rod in her hand and give Annabelle the required motion to the mouse from atop her high chair. On Friday morning I was watching Madeline on the floor and she grabbed the yellow rod in one hand and the attached mouse in the other hand then stood up and held both above her head with the distinct expression of triumph. This was one of the first few times that Madeline has ever stood without holding onto a table, chair, or cat litter box so it was a very impressive feat to me.

Annabelle wasn’t quite as impressed as I was. The basic response she seems to have to Madeline being able to stand is that Madeline is now a perceived threat that needs to be neutralized. The standing posture with arms wide for a cat is an aggressive one. So when I was looking away from the two of them I looked back to find Annabelle actively boxing Madeline with her paws and scaring Madeline into a crying fit. So now we need to be even more vigilant than before. We need to watch the baby but also make sure that we don’t have a small scale Roy incident. I am not sure of how big the cat that mauled Roy was but Madeline is quite small so I don’t want anything bad to happen between her and our kitten. So I’ve been trying to split them up if I can’t monitor them directly. Madeline still isn’t afraid of Annabelle and they have also been feuding over her pink Madeline monogrammed chair. The chair seats either one baby or one cat but the most common scenarios that I have seen is that Madeline goes to sit in the chair and Annabelle immediately decides to join her in the seat or Annabelle sits in the chair and defends it appropriately from any advances from unwanted babies. Maybe we need a second chair.

The babysitter search has generated some results although we still don’t have a very stable plan. So far we have a babysitter on Tuesday and Thursday with my mom doing the babysitting on Wednesday. On Monday and Friday we aren’t sure what we are doing. Sarah became quite interested in the idea of day care when my mom suggested that Madeline might be cranky at the end of the day because she is bored due to a lack of interaction with other kids her age. So we are in a search for a good local day care to fill in a couple of days per week. The problem is that on Friday none of them called Sarah back and Madeline has been standing and waiting for a solution whenever she gets a chance.

August 31, 2006

Weddings spayings and babysitting in paradise

When we got our cat Annabelle about a month ago at the MSPCA at Angell Memorial they provided a contract regarding the spaying of her. Since they didn’t have an appointment for the following few weeks and we were going to California we scheduled the appointment to spay her for the day after we returned from our vacation surrounding DK’s wedding. Given that we took a red eye with a baby back on Monday night and spent Tuesday trying to sleep and pick her up Annabelle was the main project upon returning.

Traveling to California with Madeline at 10 months is about as challenging as when she was 3 months but our minor adjustments to the plan made the trip much easier and often more fun. The adjustments were as follows.

1. Travel in first class in the first seat of the airplane where there is a little area where a baby could stand-up, crawl around, and play with toys while we have lots of legroom to kick our feet up when tired.

2. Minimize driving times and separate them with long periods out of the car. Try to place driving activities strategically near expected nap times.

3. Utilize babysitting resources at night. Hire a babysitter through the hotel for one night and bring parents in an intersecting trip to watch her while partying at the wedding.

4. Keep things simple by keeping events and activities to a minimum including skipping events that don’t appear realistic for coordinating moving the whole crew around to like the slew of social events associated with a wedding (rehearsal dinner, post wedding brunch, dessert hour, etc.)

5. Don’t bother bringing a laptop.

I won’t say we didn’t have our challenges but the adjustments helped us to avoid doing too much. But we did have some challenges.

In order to travel with our first class ticket using frequent flyer miles I needed to accept flights with a layover in Chicago. What that meant was that we left on an 8AM flight. Given the recent hullabaloo about liquids, gels, and other ways to make improvised explosives the word on the street was that we needed to be at the airport at about 6 AM to clear security and drop off our full load of items including a car seat, stroller, baby backpack, and two massive bags. Since before this we needed to wake Madeline, feed her, change her, and prep her mentally for a flight the start time for the day in Boston was 4AM.

The flight itself was bearable although we couldn’t take advantage of the more comfortable seating arrangement with Madeline requiring constant holding or attention. This meant that the day really started at 4AM and we never got to catch-up on the sleep during the flights. Furthermore while the real time elapsed may have been 8 hours, somehow it felt like about two to three days had elapsed on the plane such that by the end of the second flight Madeline had determined that the only thing left to do would be to shred the magazines we had brought and since we didn’t have an alternative that she was interested in we helped her to do so with the provision that Sarah periodically fished mid-sized magazine spitballs out of Madeline’s mouth.

So when we arrived at SFO we were tired and had we been home we would have gone straight to sleep. Instead we took the asinine transportation system that is the SFO rental car area. I have become so annoyed by the SFO rental car system that I have considered flying to San Jose where all you need to do is cross the street just to avoid it. The first problem is that they have a train that you need to take to the rental car area. In the past I had made the mistake of going to an off airport rental car location and the punishment is that you have to take the train to the rental car area and then take a bus from there to the rental car location. Most airports just have a bus that picks you up but because the train is so slow and awkward to get to they don’t want to provide any advantage to the off airport folks who could probably get you from the baggage claim area to the rental car in a minute using a shuttle. Instead we went through numerous elevators and lifts in a map that can only be considered idiotic but necessary for traveling with a large load of items just to get to the rental car location where we then were able to wait for half an hour while the one agent dealt with two people who had errors with their agreements. This was at Budget. I would consider renewing my Hertz get to your car fast membership but now that it is over I may just avoid this airport.

Had this been the only problem with rental cars at SFO I might not be calling for a public pillory of the planners who devised this devious rental car system but upon returning to the airport on Monday night I had additional problems getting to the location. I had filled the car with gas as required to save a few bucks on South Airport road. This road pointed towards the airport and I took it there but as it approached it suddenly turned into 101. The signs on 101 said something about taking the San Bruno exit to get to the rental car areas. Upon taking this exit I found myself going 70 miles per hour on 380 or some other highway away from the airport and couldn’t turn around for 8 miles. Upon returning to the airport I decided to ignore this sign and went into the airport where I was able to painstakingly travel through every part of the airport on the local airport road until about 5 miles later, the approximate distance of the train ride from the airport to the rental car location, when I saw a sign for “Rental car customer parking”. I turned into this location only to find that it was not what I had expected. It was a place for people renting cars were expected to park their cars. I didn’t have time to ask anyone about why this service was useful at an airport but did finally reach the rental car lot.

While dropping off the car the attendant was blasting some Spanish radio station on the car next to us. But when we left with our stroller, car seat, baby backpack, two suitcase, diaper bag, and travel backpack luggage on the second floor there was an elevator either to the 3rd floor or to the first floor. The 3rd floor is where the train lets you off to go to the rental car offices. The first floor is under the train platform and the elevator specifically instructs you to go to the first floor to get to the train. We did this but since we had a ton of luggage and so did everyone else the tiny elevator didn’t fit more than one family at a time. So we needed to wait for an elevator to go down one level. When we got to the bottom we then had to walk to the other elevator that takes you to the top of the train station and then wait again for a tiny elevator that couldn’t fit more than one family at a time. Finally we were up at the train station on the third floor and then I watched as the people were let out into the rental car entrance area followed by both sides of doors opening and we saw we could have just gone up one elevator instead of the idiotic route we took. Next time just go to the rental area.

But the rental car got us to Half Moon Bay fairly quickly. I was surprised, although I should have known, that in the morning and evenings anywhere in the Bay area during the foggy months that it is foggy and somewhat cold regardless of where you go. So we found that Half Moon Bay was foggy and cold but we did look around and then went to sleep in our room at the Best Western about five thirty PM with a brief wake-up to get the room service hamburger and club sandwich. Madeline’s diapers smelled terrible so I left them outside the room beyond the slider on the deck in plastic bags in the area overlooking the golf course. At night we heard what sounded like an animal rustling near the slider but the diapers were still there when we awoke.

We had breakfast at the hotel but then decided to tour the area by going the ten miles to the Ritz Carlton. We didn’t actually know where the Ritz was so we drove up the highway looking for it only to learn later when Sarah called them that it was a right turn at the corner where our hotel was. The Ritz was fun to see and offered some great views of cliffs over the water. We walked the edge of the golf course and didn’t have to pay for parking. An agreement must have been made between the folks at the Ritz and the government that they would be allowed to build 36 holes of golf by the ocean if they provided free public access to the beach. The lot we parked in had multiple Bentleys and Lotus vehicles in it. We parked next to a Bentley that was parked diagonally across two spaces to avoid riff raff from getting too close to it.

After leaving the Ritz we explored the downtown area of Half Moon Bay and decided that there wasn’t anything there. We then went to a local restaurant for lunch after checking out of the hotel and found that the view was great through their plate glass windows but the glare was enormous. I ordered a crab roll and decided that lobster is a better crustacean than crab since it tastes better. Sarah ordered a chicken Caesar salad despite being at seafood restaurant. Madeline ordered fruit salad.

After lunch we walked the beach and remembered the same thing we always remember on vacations when we get to the beach. Wouldn’t it be great to have something to lie down or sit on now so that we don’t get covered with sand? We are going to have to start bringing a lightweight blanket on all trips that might involve a beach or park.

The trek into San Francisco was quick. We stayed at the Mark Hopkins Intercontinental and upon arrival the bellman stole my car. He basically didn’t offer much choice in whether I would use their $65 per night valet service. It wasn’t a terrible service but I figured there might be a cheaper one. I had told Sarah that I loved the food at Tsunami but in order to go out to eat we were going to need a baby sitter. I called to the front desk to learn that they offered babysitting through an agency and hooked up a babysitter with a $15 fee for the set-up and $11/hour with a 4 hour minimum. So we put Madeline to bed at 7:15 and then waited until about 7:30 PM when the babysitter was set to arrive. The reception folks thought it would be best to call us to alert us that the babysitter had arrived and the call rang a nice loud phone by Madeline’s crib and woke her up. A few minutes later Donna, a grandmother, appeared at our door covered in big jewelry on her hands, ears, and neck. Donna was a professional at babysitting and was confident that Madeline could be brought back to sleep. Sarah first tried to comfort Madeline and then switched to nursing her. Donna mentioned that babies that are still nursing are the hardest because the only thing that they really want when they are tired or upset is their mother. Despite multiple efforts to calm her down Madeline had clearly become aware that she was about to be ditched and to be left with this total stranger and she was absolutely pissed. So as we walked to the elevator after about 45 minutes of wrangling to try to leave Donna with a sleeping baby we could hear the screaming of our baby about 50 doors away from our room. We told Donna to call us at dinner whenever Madeline fell asleep. Sarah looked as if she had just been through a war and was experiencing some form of traumatic stress having to leave her screaming baby in a fancy hotel in order to go to a restaurant. We did manage to eat at Tsunami with Molly and Yuval and Sarah spent about an hour calming down after 30 minutes into dinner we received a call from Donna to let us know that the she had rocked Madeline to sleep in her stroller.

The next night we went to the Top of the Mark with Zoe and Dave after a walk in Golden Gate park at the Japanese tea garden. We saw some great views and halfway through snacking on gourmet cheeses, raw foods, cocktails, and a bottle of wine Sarah and Madeline disappeared back to the room to change because Madeline had spat-up on her fancy dress. Sarah didn’t return and we decided to stay in for the night and watch most of a season of “Flavr4Lov”, the reality TV show where Flav-a-flav does some odd version of the Bachelor while wearing clocks around his neck.

Tiburon was a quick drive out of the city. It was purported to be Paradise given locations like the wedding being held at Paradise beach and a road for walking called Paradise drive. It was quite nice. The best part of Paradise was having a babysitter for Madeline both nights. My parents arrived in town at about 3 in the afternoon and watch her while Sarah and I enjoyed dinner at the hotel restaurant. We stayed at the Tiburon Lodge in a spa room. The Spa room included a hot tub in the back and mirrors on the ceilings over the hot tub and the bed. I didn’t think to bring back pink champagne on ice but next time I will.

Sarah’s mother had made the astute observation about Annabelle the cat that her nipples were growing about two weeks ago. By the time that we returned from California and I picked-up Annabelle in Bedford she had also grown very round in the belly. The two theories were that she either had worms or was pregnant. It turned out that she was pregnant despite our never having exposed her to a male cat. The spaying included a complementary cat abortion operation so we aren’t going to have kittens in the near future.

August 11, 2006

Cutting a tooth

I spent most of the day trying to get my laptop onto the corporate network. After over a year and a half of using the same network card, only three days after switching backpacks, I lost my network card. Normally this would not pose a problem but that same computer has chosen to not connect to any network without a network card. Database work without a network is like trying to do airtraffic control without radar or radio communication with airplanes. So I haggled around for an out of date network card and then borrowed a USB watch that a cubicle neighbor, who I hadn't spoken to in the full year and a half in order to install the out of date Cisco software to run the network card. It was all fruitful and I felt quite proud of myself.

Meanwhile at home Madeline was wreaking havoc on Sarah because she has finally cut the beginnings of her first tooth.

August 10, 2006

August Madeline news

August 2006: (10 months) Madeline now regularly stands on her own by pulling herself up on furniture. She has her first small tooth coming in. She is looking like she is about to walk but still falls often. Right now she has a black eye from one of her falls.

July 26, 2006

The cat selection process at the MSPCA

The cat

On Saturday we finally managed to pull together and go to the MSPCA to adopt a cat. We were undecided on the key question of whether to get a new kitten, a teenager cat, or a mature one. The basic rationale was that the kitten is the most desirable of cat and that is a pro and a con. In adopting a cat we wanted to get a cat that would benefit from adoption so kittens are likely to get adopted because they are cute and cuddly.

So we arrived at noon on Saturday to a surprising new MSPCA adoption center at the Angel Memorial Animal Hospital. The sign on the door as we walked in informed us that they look for donations and in particular this week they were looking for bleach. The waiting area you first reach when you arrive gives you the impression that you should wait to be escorted into the cat observation area. But things are very busy and actually nobody comes to greet you until after waiting for about 10 minutes you realize that you should just walk into the area with all of the cats, go through the door leading to the dogs, or take a look at some critters like bunny rabbits, mice, or ferrets.

The cat area was chock full of cats. We went first through the hall of tall cages where mainly adult cats were living on their own. I figured these ones were less tolerant of other cats because on either side of the hall the adoption center had large monkey house style rooms facing out the window. The monkey houses were filled with ten cats each all living in a communal lifestyle complete with high walks, windows, and cubbies to nestle into. But just before we entered the first big room we were stunned by the kittens. Two pens on the side had kittens in them. One had a single kitten and it’s mother, both white with calico markings on the top. The kitten was feeding from the mother’s chest. The sign on the pen suggested that they were a packaged deal and that these cats were already pending adoption.

Next to this pen another pen held four or five kittens. Sarah and I held a couple of them and were very interested in these tiny fun creatures. Madeline, who was sitting with us in her stroller, also wanted to say hello to the cats. To avoid the charms of the littlest ones we moved into one of the big open rooms filled with cats. I found one cat that reminded me of Thumper. She was a black cat, somewhat fat but mainly muscular, that looked like she could chase mice. I told Sarah that I was impressed with this cat and we interacted with it for a while. When we asked more information about this cat, nee Fluffy, we were informed that she was a de-clawed cat. Now I don’t think it is right to de-claw a cat but I also don’t think a de-clawed cat would be effective at scaring mice. The woman giving us cat backgrounds also introduced us to a Mane Coon cat that was very interesting looking and seemed quite friendly. Again she let us know that this was a de-clawed cat. The woman asked what I felt was wrong with a de-clawed cat as Sarah looked on at me and I was forced to admit that one of my reasons for wanting a cat was to catch and kill our local mouse population. The adoption center volunteer changed from looking at me as a good potential paternal figure for her beloved cats to how someone might look at a slave owner that beat his slaves mercilessly. She then explained that cats can’t kill mice unless their mother teaches them how and that they kill mice with their teeth and not their claws.

Regardless of her attempt to enlighten me, Sarah and I moved on to searching for a cat in an unassisted fashion to avoid the judging eyes of this adoption volunteer.

We did see a cat that looked thin, young, and strong in a three story cage. She looked much like Cloey, Jeremy’s cat, with a brown speckled body but with a very bushy Coon style tail. I chatted with a helper about this cat and found that she was found abandoned in an apartment when someone had left her there alone after moving out. She was given the name Pigeon at the shelter but was still very thin. The woman helping us this time was very excited to see me, Sarah, and Madeline. She could see that we would be a good home for this cat and told us that she really wanted Pigeon to go home with us.

The adoption process included an hour and a half wait to get to the front of the line to go through the process with the forms. The forms included questions like whether we had pets before and if we no longer had them what had occurred. I put down a brief sentence about Bijoux but the adoption person never asked a question about it. Soon we were home with a cat.

Later in the afternoon Nick and Christina came over and they helped us to cut Pigeon’s nails. I was hoping for a better name and someone called her Annabelle which is now her official Housman family name.

Annabelle is a bit crazy so far. She rolls around in her litter and runs at top speed throughout the apartment. Madeline likes to chase her or at least to chase the beeping electronic mouse at the end of the plastic fishing rod and string that I bought at Stop and Shop. Unfortunately it hasn’t been easy to catch sleep since we brought Annabelle home. Madeline has been very fussy at night and is apparently refusing to sleep in her crib. Our solution for now is to get her to sleep on the floor of her room on the carpet. This plan worked two nights in a row. The first night I got a nice sore back from sleeping with her. The second one I decided to leave her and to sleep in the bed. She slept fine but was about twenty feet from where I laid her down. She is a sleep crawler. So tonight we are trying to put her on the floor within a makeshift pillow barrier system. It was working for most of “The World’s Fastest Indian” but she woke up and Sarah had to go back to try to nurse her and calm her down. Hopefully things will improve on the sleeping front soon. I feel like the mouse front is under control of commander Annabelle.

July 16, 2006

The big male party

Sarah and I were supposed to go to the 100 day party, a Korean tradition, for a friend of ours today. Sarah didn’t feel too well and I was tired from having gone out last night until 2:00 AM. A Korean friend of mine explained the tradition to me and mentioned that the one year party is a major event. Her son’s one year party had over 200 people attend with 300 people invited and the party was during a blizzard. She mentioned that in Korea if you have a son it is the only real chance for the mother to throw a large party on their behalf. A daughter’s wedding is arranged and organized by the bride’s family so the one year party is a big event similar to a wedding. That got me to thinking about traditions like Bar Mitzvahs, traditionally male until the invention of the Bat Mitzvah, and I realize that parents have a need to throw big parties for their children where family members and friends can all get together for a fun time. So cultures have created events like weddings for girls and bar mitzvahs or one year celebrations for boys as a reason to hold these big events.

Last night was fun. We went out to see Lisa and Dave play with Sweet Wednesday. Plenty of folks were there including Falkoff, DK, Hattie, Stephanie, and Robert. Falkoff brought his brother Nick, sister Katie, and his friend who is living in the Falkoff house while doing contract work with Nick. At one point in the evening some folks were talking girl talk and someone mentioned a story about being on a beach at a resort town and a man walking up to her, saying “you can slap me for this later” and then kissing her passionately. The Sweet Wednesday band sounded excellent.

The crew got excited to go dancing so we took a ride to Central and watched the soul band close out the night at the Cantab Lounge. When I got home Sarah was in bed with Madeline sleeping. I walked Madeline into her crib and carefully laid her down. At first she stirred a bit but when I got into bed she had quieted. But Sarah and I got up to walk to the kitchen to grab some drinks. Madeline woke-up and started crying. We figured we’d let her calm down for a few minutes but the cries kept getting louder. Finally I went in to check on her and found her standing up grasping the top bar of her crib with both hands and crying. She must have decided to climb to a standing position to get a better view of us and then once standing was unsure of how to get down from the position. It was unexpected to see her standing as I have never seen her pull herself into a standing position on her own.

Today we considered going to get a cat at the Angell shelter but on investigation we learned that the shelter is closed on Sundays and Mondays. Personally I would think these would be ideal cat adoption days since people don't have to work on Sunday and getting the cat during the week allows them to do that last bit of travelling or driving around to places before beginning a commitment to care for a needy kitten or acclimate an older cat. But maybe it is intentional for them to make the hours tricky. If people can't commit important time to adopt the cat then they probably won't be committed to the process. But maybe Tuesday or Thursday will work. For now I just did some patching with steel wool and joint compound to fill a hole after going to Home Depot to grab a new blue toilet seat (the other one was cracked) along with other implements of mouse protection. Unfortunately the mice got lucky because the round metal piece designed to cover the radiator pipe disappeared somewhere before we got home.

June 12, 2006

Madeline is about to crawl

Madeline has been going through some remarkable advances over the past week that have been very interesting to watch. She started to arch her back over the weekend when planning to move forwards which put her into a full pre-crawl motion. Oddly this didn't work out as she may have expected on the slippery red rug. When she was hoping to move forwards to grasp her favorite electronic gadgets ( a phone or remote control ) she would slide backwards away from it instead of moving towards it. But today she was doing better with the pre-crawl motion. She has figured out how to pull on the long haired carpet in her room to climb forwards on the ground. Suddenly as we were watching her she pulled herself up on my leg to near a standing motion before falling and scaring herself into crying. My guess is that she will be into crawling from one side of the room to the next within two weeks. The timing on these recent stages of development for her are at the level of missing a week could be the difference between no words and a first word, no walking and a first step. She'll be graduating from college and off to school in no time.

So Sarah and I are continuing to bop around looking for a potential new home to fit the growing clan despite the fact that we fit quite nicely into our current domicile. We saw a nice set of condos this afternoon, one that caught our fancy even. But it takes a big gulp to think about bidding on a 4 bedroom Brookline condo in a turning real estate market even if the seller just knocked 10% off the asking price.

June 02, 2006

Entertaining a 7 month old

Although many people sell toys for infants, the best are from Infantino, the toys are often not handy at crucial times like when I am sitting on the couch. So while entertaining Madeline at 7 months old on the sofa I have done some experimentation with things immediately handy. She is quite fond of things like spoons or other cutlery used for eating dinner and is especially interested if the spoon is being used for eating. A white box that had held jewelry at some point was also a good toy until the edges broke off. Yesterday a Murakami paperback, “Dance, Dance, Dance”, fascinated her. Her list of ways to play with a paperback include: Bending and attempting to tear off the shiny front cover, eating the binding, grasping a clump of pages, watching the pages get flipped quickly, and dropping it on the floor. So much for Murakami. The best toy I have found in a long time was discovered after taking a shower. I was wearing my bathrobe and she found the long cloth belt from the robe to be a fascinating toy. Not only did it come from both sides of me, but it also could be looped, skipped, tied, worn as a headband, or just grabbed and pulled at.

May 18, 2006

Seafire: Dinner in paradise

At about 9:30 PM on a Friday night I was sitting alone at the SeaFire restaurant feeling awkward in a fancy resort alone. I had exhausted most logical activities such as reading through the menu to review the prices of steaks. A filet at the SeaFire costs either $42 or $46 depending upon your appetite for meat. A woman walked up to me and asked “Is she all right?”. My first response was “She is hopefully going to come back soon as soon as the baby calms down.” At that point I recognized the woman and why she was asking me the question. She was the water woman from the beach the day before.

On Thursday we had decided that it would be good to get Madeline some experience with the warm teal Caribbean water. So we took her to the beach and found some of the chaise beach chairs with the shades that go over the top. These are the coveted items on the beach and we only obtained them because the people in them had inherited theirs from a pair of early risers who had gone for a walk and never returned. Sarah and I were lounging happily with Madeline sitting first with Sarah and then Madeline was moved over to sit with me for a while. I had her sitting facing away from me so that if she fell backwards I could catch her. But I wanted to see her face so I pointed her back towards me. I mentioned to Sarah that I felt this was a less stable configuration. At about this time the people in front of me started having an interesting exchange. A pair of New York women were being picked-up by some resort cruiser guys and I wanted to listen in on the outcome. It was a little drama to be had on the beach where otherwise all there was to do was stare at my baby or stare at the many scantily clad teenagers wandering about looking for the resort cruiser guys to pick them up while their parents were away getting drunk on $11 Bahama Coladas.

That was when Madeline fell backwards, rolled off of the chaise and before Sarah or I could catch her, fell face first into the sand. Sarah must have read a book that sand is among the most dangerous of elements for a baby since she immediately proclaimed that it was her worst fear of coming to the beach that this would happen since Madeline could be permanently blinded by an incident of this gravity. I tried to help Madeline who was not too happy having fallen and done a face plant and was helpful in trying to explain to Sarah that it was better than Madeline falling into concrete. I was brushing off the sand from her face but it wasn’t easy to do. Apparently baby faces when covered with suntan lotion are infused with some form of sand glue that allows sand to attach and bind to the face. So Madeline was just crying and Sarah rushed off in a panic to acquire water.

While Sarah was gone to the bar the water woman appeared along with the woman from New York who was getting hit on by the beach cruisers with their water bottles. The water woman was a mother, whose child didn’t appear to be traveling with her, who knew how to help out in this situation. She let me know that I needed to tip Madeline’s head so that the water didn’t go into her nose while she poured water down Madeline’s face with the water in her bottle and got a large part of the sand away from her eyes. She recommended going to the shower by the beach to finish the job and when Sarah returned with a glass of ice water I continued to apologize for my lack of diligence and let Sarah know that we had been helped by an experienced mom who knew how to handle this sort of situation. The mom did reinforce the gravity of the situation by mentioning that it is quite possible to get a very painful scratch on the cornea from sand in your eyes.

So we finally went to the shower and spent time washing out Madeline’s face and body to remove the sand and parted ways with the water woman. We decided that the beach was too dangerous for the rest of the day and moved to the zero entry kid wading pool to swim in shallower water but it was closed due to a fecal matter incident that was not our fault. Think Caddy Shack and Bill Murray.

So the water woman was now dressed in her finest resort casual dress looking at me oddly as I sat alone in my 30th minute staring at the menu waiting for Sarah to return. She had to be thinking something along the lines of “Boy – these are the most incompetent new parents that have ever walked the face of the earth.” We chatted for a minute or two and I informed her that Sarah was just outside nursing the baby because Madeline had been unhappy about the situation at the restaurant. The water woman went outside to say hello to Sarah.

Among the things to keep myself entertained while waiting alone for my wife and child to return was the birthday song that was being sung on a regular basis. The Bahamians must equate volume and excitement with luxury since they were practically yelling while they clapped a happy birthday each time at a volume that could be heard on neighboring islands. The wait staff was also trying to figure out what to do with me since I was this guy not ordering food at a fancy restaurant so I let them know we were having a problem getting the baby to calm down. Sarah had mentioned after I had tried to calm Madeline with a bottle that she wasn’t going to ruin people’s evenings who were paying through their teeth for a fancy meal with a crying baby. This seemed to especially apply to the local Bahamian couple sitting next to us that had a long discussion with the waiter, who they knew, that they had finally been able to come out to the restaurant after all these years. The Bahamian man leaned over to ask me at one point “So – no dinner for you.”.

It was after this that I decided to go out on my quest to see what Sarah was doing. I found her outside of the restaurant sitting in some outdoor waiting tables nursing Madeline. It looked like Madeline was about to go to sleep but there was a problem. Apparently at 9:30 at night on Fridays the streets at this resort are filled with entertainment. The entertainment was a parade including a marching band blasting music at volumes loud enough to drown out a Bahamian birthday song at the SeaFire restaurant. It was also loud enough to prevent Madeline from easily sleeping since every time Madeline started to dose off the rough equivalent of a person crashing a pair of cymbals over her head occurred. I had to laugh at the oddity of the event and given the two evils of the loud parade or the restaurant we opted to place her carefully into her carriage and stroll into the restaurant to order dinner.

When we sat down Madeline was sleeping and we had some cautious moments discussing the current scenario. We were sitting on a bomb that could go off at any moment but were going to eat our $42 steak and $40 tuna along with a Caesar salad, Merlot, and desert. We were on a mission to enjoy a nice meal while on vacation. That was when we learned that the Bahamian couple next to us was celebrating their birthday. The color from Sarah’s skin drained out of Sarah when the clapping, shouting, birthday singers arrived at our table. The nearby tables of knowledgeable parents looked on and were sympathetically mortified as well.

May 07, 2006

Rasberry discovery


Yesterday at the arboretum I made the discovery that I could reliably make Madeline smile when doing a raspberry with my tongue. This was a useful thing for photography since she often doesn’t smile when I am looking through the camera and I can do whatever I want with my tongue to get her excited. The funny thing was that the consequence or coincidence of my doing repeated raspberries to get her attention is that she now also has started to make spitting noises with her lips buzzing in the form of a primitive and very cute baby raspberry.

We had Leelin the pug dog for the past couple of days and Madeline found that watching Leelin fetch with one of her toys may have been the funniest thing she has ever seen. This was measured in giggles sustained over a period of a half of an hour.

May 04, 2006

Efficient use of time in a post baby world

I have spent a large part of my work experience worrying about the question of an efficient use of time. The basic question at any given time is whether I or another person is effectively using their time efficiently. On Tuesday night I had to rethink this concept and I have had plenty of time to rethink this concept in connection with Madeline and living life as a parent among my roles. The question arises when I stay home with Madeline for a day is – “Is this an efficient use of my time”. In a pure financial sense it would be a clear “no” since it is tricky to make money during the hours that I stay home and I would be able to earn more money per hour than it would cost me to hire a child care resource. But were the calculation that simple then I would have an answer to the question immediately and I would hire someone to stay home with Madeline and I would go out and work to pay for them.

But given that I only have so much time total, probably less than a hundred years worth in a lifetime, and even less time than that with my daughter, less than 77 years worth minus realistic time (15 years might be the real total), and if I assign a very high value to the time that I spend with her in terms of my own personal satisfaction with life then the cost of spending all of my time working vs. enjoying having a family and spending time with them needs to be factored into deciding whether I am spending my time efficiently. In fact it may be possible that the right calculation of time efficiency would be to maximize the time that I spend in a satisfying way and minimize the time that I spend in an unsatisfying way. Thus if I do get satisfaction out of work I need to work up until I get to diminishing returns and if I get satisfaction out of being with Madeline and Sarah then I need to do that until I get to diminishing returns.

This whole attempt to calculate satisfaction mathematically is bogus because there is no absolute number for satisfaction and it is an insatiable desire regardless such that I could never really be fully satisfied by anything given that there is always more to hope for or look forwards to in either personal life or work life. I hadn’t expected to have trouble figuring this one out but I think I will just remain somewhat conflicted on the question given that I have multiple objectives grinding around inside of me.

May 01, 2006

Pleather and cowmooflage for bigger better baby seats

We finally bought the bigger size car seat for Madeline. She was starting to look like her head was going to pop out beyond the top of the seat. Since we were at Target anyways looking for the ever elusive pool and patio furniture we figured it would be worth picking-up the car seat. Target didn’t actually have suitable pool furniture because they don’t include their pool stuff at every store. But we did hang out putting Madeline into various car seats to register comfort vs. safety vs. cost vs. fashion. A couple who were proud grandparents were also searching for the larger size car seat as well so they asked Sarah her opinions as any real modern mother must be a fountain of knowledge from Internet and library research. We told them that the most expensive one was probably the safest and best but the least expensive one would probably do fine too. I was very tempted to purchase the super low budget car seat. It looked a little less comfortable but the asbestos hanging out of the sides was hardly noticeable and the razor sharp metal pillow also seemed to be fine as long as you installed the baby properly per the guidelines in the manual. So we bought the Britax Marathon, a top of the line item at Target, because it was listed as $20 cheaper than the prices that Sarah had seen online. They didn’t have it handy in the color Sarah wanted “Cow-Moo-Flage” so I was spared the agony of cow pattern ridicule for now.

Upon returning home we decided to see how we could get a second car seat for the second car as I am sure these things will be multiplying like rabbits throughout our home. I looked on eBay, Craigslist, the usual hiding places for other people’s garbage but the folks on craigslist have been hoarding these cow pattern baby saving devices and eBay is filled with vendors rather than hard-up Midwestern families looking to feed their third child by selling their first child’s 20 lb plus car seat. So we may still need to pay near full price for the next car seat. I did see some seats that looked mildly old but my guess is that the infant mortality rate from 2002 was about 10X what it is today given the differences between the modern 2006 car seat with pleather styling, side head whiplash protection, and special car compatible clips instead of seatbelt installation. The older models of car seats did look like they were something out of the early stone age and although they might be as safe they certainly would be a higher likelihood that DSS would be called in to investigate the mistreatment of our little angel were we to place her in one of these wooden death traps from the last century. So we are in the market for a bunch of these bigger car seats that we will probably only need for a few months anyways since there is another booster seat phase that has been devised by the car seat lobbyists to insure profits for these manufacturers for years to come. If they had their way in the car seat world they would have special seats for 30 year olds, 40 year olds, people with odd shaped heads, big nosed people, whatever such that we could only preserve our fragile elderly relatives (people over 25) with the proper head gear and pleather side whiplash system styled by Eddie Bauer working in collaboration with the Swiss Army and the Swatch corporation.

April 28, 2006

Taking in the moments

I was listening to some radio show on NPR this morning about why not enough black people went to see the new movie Fat Girl and they asked someone in the panel about having kids. Her advice was that looking backwards on her kids that you should enjoy the moments and not always be looking for the next big milestone. So today I was just enjoying spending time with Madeline. She was very smiley today and we played a game of plush colored ball catch. Madeline can’t actually catch the ball but she does swat at it and if I bounce it properly and she is in the sitting position, Holy crap… she can sit without falling over and doing a face plant!, I can get the ball to stop on her knees. Otherwise it bounced off her chest, she gave me a little giggle or smile, and the ball rolled back into my hands. I read some books to her. My favorite is the baby words book because all it is are pictures of things we see every day like “bottle” “hand” and “crib” and I think she is recognizing both the book and some of the pictures. We had a good time singing Alouette as I rattled off what little French words I knew for body parts and pointed at them while I sang.

When I had a few spare moments because she dozed off for a while I got back to thinking about what the alien transposer on vacation in a human body would really want to do while he was living a “human life experience”. I think this sort of thing would be one of the selling points in the brochure for an extended vacation as a human. “Live as a human for a hundred years. Feel the excitement of birth (Cut to scene of birth) and life maturing among social creatures as a biped. Experience the emotions love, fear, and confusion. (Cut through various scenese of childhood and Britany Spears videos). Reproduce with a beautiful mate and watch your own child grow and bond with you. (Cut to scene of me playing ball with Madeline). Grow old and proud (Cut to elderly proud looking people) Sign-up now to visit Earth where human forms await transposer travelers for a the trip of a hundred lifetimes through an age where petroleum is plentiful and the atmosphere breathable. Start living your full human life today.

April 16, 2006

Flippin babies

Ever since Madeline has been about four months old Sarah and I have been watching for her to start rolling. It is the step before crawling and walking that most babies take as their major leap into movement beyond being planted on the floor like a mushroom. Madeline has shown limited interest in rolling on her own during this period and has gotten fussy when we place her on her stomach and try to get her to roll over. But last night I awoke in the middle of the night and found that she was unhappy because she had managed to flip onto her stomach and was crying while holding her head up in a downward dog position. I was pretty proud of this feat so I called Sarah in to confirm and notorize this self flippage as the second witness. Tonight when she awoke she was bopping around her crib and was pounding her feet above her then slamming them back down onto the crib. It didn't look like she was angry so much as playing with the crib as if she were a budding gymnast. I left her for a while and when I found her she had done a 180 and moved about one full roll away from where she was. My take on it was that she was learning how to move and was both excited about this freedom and learning because she was upset that she wanted a midnight snack. Eventually I picked her up and delivered her to Sarah.

I think the days of the stationary baby are not going to last much longer. It may be another 60 days or it could be as little as tomorrow before Madeline can do her own version of the Boston Marathon by crossing a blanket or even a full carpet length. I have to worry much more about her falling now since she spends a good portion of time above the ground. About a week ago she somehow figured out how to move off of the couch and fell the foot from the couch to the floor. She wasn't too happy about learning about gravity this way and Sarah and I were super worried about her little fall. I guess we were lucky because Brittany Spears, who has shadowed us with a baby at about the same time as Madeline, had a bad experience reported in all of the tabloids when her son fell off the high chair and had a skull fracture. This time is a time to be extra vigilant because once you can move you can fall very easily and all of the stationary times can lull us parents into a false sense of security when we leave the little ones.

April 11, 2006

Sneaking Madeline out of the country

I wasn’t sure how hard it would be to get a passport, whether we needed one to take Madeline to the Bahamas, or what we needed to take Madeline to the Bahamas. Plus it was a Monday and I go stir crazy watching Madeline if I don’t create chores that involve wandering about the earth. The original chore that I had planned for the day was to finish entering tax information in Bedford but it proved elusive and less fun than the procurement of the passport. So I meandered over to City Hall at about 9AM with my baby in hand and asked them what I needed to do. Among the odd things about having a baby is that you get a social security number for them before you get the birth certificate. The birth certificate sits on file at city hall waiting for you to purchase it. It is like those rides where they take a photo of you going through the plume or at the most terrifying point on a roller coaster when the hulking muscular dude next to you is screaming like a schoolgirl and vomiting into the air. Then you have to walk past and purchase some form of proof that you actually went through it to show your friends for $20. Well in this case the ride is childbirth and while the pictures would have been superb and I would have paid a few hundred bucks to see them but all they sell you is a copy of the proof of birth. The proof of birth is apparently all that is required to cross the border into the Bahamas with a child today but given the complexities predicted based on immigration reform, increased border security, and protectionism it will become harder to smuggle small babies into tropical countries and back without proper US paperwork in 2007. The people at the city hall office were gushing and happy to say hi to Madeline and especially enjoyed squeezing her big Michelin man arms.

So I decided to go through the process of obtaining a passport. They handed me some paperwork and sent me packing to get some passport photos of the little one and I meandered on my way to the next phase. I took Madeline to Walgreens to get her passport photos taken. The woman behind the counter was busy printing some giant stack of pictures so she warned me that it would be a while before she could photograph us. So I spent 15 minutes trying to manufacture purpose in Walgreens and that resulted in my purchasing a bag of sugar, a can of shaving cream, and a ten pack of sensor razor blades plus reading the latest gossip about the many babies about to be born in Hollywood. The photographer at first had me holding Madeline at an odd angle that nearly made me throw out my back but she then decided she needed a cart to rest the baby on to take a proper picture. This created a scuffle between her and the woman on the other side of the store using the cart for something like stocking razor blades and shaving cream. But Madeline sat teetering atop a black piece of cardboard on top of a cart for the required two minutes to take two beautiful pictures for her passport photo.

After a brief pit stop eating a bagel with Jeremy and Ari including watching Ari walk around a tree five times (although I think he really went around twenty times) a full bottle of milk and a god awful diaper change I was ready to return to City Hall. Once there I filled out the form thinking I was all set. I had to wait to get it processed after waiting behind a small pair of Asian women and an entourage of people working to help them to renew the license for their nail salon. The women gawked once again at how cute Madeline was and we had a good time for the twenty minutes that I was waiting. But when I handed them the forms they let me know that I couldn’t be the only person signing on the passport. Sarah was also needed at the same time. Now getting Sarah and me in the same place at the same time from 9 – 5 is not a trivial operation. So for whatever fear that the US Government had that I was going to procure a passport and steal Madeline off to the Tablisi to sell her on the black market was going to require some co-ordination with Sarah. So I called Sarah and we agreed that we could reconvene upon City Hall at 4:30 with a full 30 minutes left to get the paperwork signed and to do the oath.

So at 4:40 we walked into the office once more and the women started to look at Madeline again. But the main woman who processes everything, especially passports, looked very cross. She mentioned in a mildly passive aggressive way to the other woman working behind the desk that someone had forgotten to tell me that they don’t process any new passports after 4:00 PM. They especially don’t like to do so when there is an Asian woman and her daughter getting a rush passport set for a family of 12 to travel to Kamchatka without the right paperwork that she had been helping to pull together the forms for since I left at noon with Madeline. But she was willing to help us out, although disgruntled about having to stay past 5PM to get us serviced. But at 5:10 PM Madeline Eve Housman’s first passport application was officially paid for and is now en route to some government way station where it will be processed about three weeks after the government cashes our tax payments.

April 06, 2006

Welcome to my web stie

Lisa and Dave came over last night to eat some dinner and hang out with us. The munchkin had eaten an entire stage 2 jar of sweet potatoes that left a scene of spattered red looking reminiscent of the violent gun fight scene in Taxi Driver. Lisa mentioned that they had gotten an email from someone who congratulated them on their attractive web stie. It would be great if I had the time and energy to clean my little space - fix fonts, tidy up pages that don't make sense, use a uniform style sheet/design, track down the 404 errors, etc. But it isn't going to happen.

Lisa also mentioned that they are planning a big European trip including some gigs. They will be playing in countries and will leave when they get deported. Someone heard them the other day who is involved in corporate events and thought they would be great for the events. The woman called them frantically with a need for help with a dead crowd about to go on a harbor cruise but it was too late to provide support. Coming soon will be the corporate event bat signal with SW shining into the clouds so that wherever there is a dead crowd - Lisa and Dave with or without a full band will be there to liven them up.


I also was chatting with Phil on my way out the door from dropping Madeline off. We were dicussing whether it would be good to walk Madeline today. He thought she was happiest when she is in the baby bjorn and I mentioned that she is happy when she gets people to pay attention to her. Phil bent over as if in a whisper and said "We all are."

March 27, 2006

The baby safari

We recently started purchasing avocados from Trader Joes. It started when we were at Linda’s and she had served a Caesar salad with avocados in it and we were struck that we could buy these wonderful treats ourselves and do what we wanted with them. The two basic uses for an avocado around the house are in a salad or in a quickly made guacamole. In general if an avocado is on a menu somewhere at a restaurant I will go for that food. At fancy restaurants the avocado likes to live with the best foods. My favorite tuna tartar from Cuchi Cuchi comes jumbled together in a cylinder with avocado. A burger is always better with the southwestern style adding the avocado. Even the lowly working class burrito makes itself a staple with the thwack splattering green onto an abstract canvas of black, brown, white, and red before the canvas gets rolled and covered in modern silver foil. I can’t have a tailgate football party without the guacamole from Whole Foods and it is my sincere hope that as I experiment in my own home with the avocado that I can create a fresh and tasty food as good as the plastic containers full. Even this morning, during brunch with Lynne and her friend Dave at Lineage, I ordered a breakfast dish with eggs over black beans with a nice mound of avocado in the corner of the dish.

Mr. Wanda, a tall African man with a deep voice, a square high hairdo, and a curly beard was our traveling chef on the safari we took in Tanzania. Among the many things he provided us to eat from park to park were large salads filled with avocados, onions, and tomatoes. A perfect vegetable can be purchased hard in an African marketplace, then tied to the roof of a Land Rover, only to be removed strategically to always have the perfect soft flavor each day for a week. That was one of the luxuries about being on safari. We had a personal chef traveling with us and most meals included a very generous portion of avocado in the salad.

I have lately noticed that watching Madeline grow reminds me of our trip through the Serengeti, Ngoro-Ngoro crater, and Lake Manyara. At first when we would see a bird or animal we’d get excited and try to take pictures, and stare for an hour. It didn’t matter too much whether Kennedy, our guide, actually knew the proper name for the birds. The important thing was to see some amazing thing we had never experienced before and to observe it long enough that it could become a part of our experience. So with Madeline I have a buzz inside where I am looking every day for something little in her developing process that I hadn’t seen before. At first it was just to see her at all, a real human developed out of nothing, the latest rung on a ladder of evolution above me with everything back to the original primordial ooze descending into the distance behind us. But as she develops we could anticipate an intentional smile, standing up, rolling over, walking in the Bjorn, walking in the woods. This last week I got to see the first giggle and her first solid food going into her mouth.

On our safari in Africa the first time we saw a lion in the tall grass and hot sun it was amazing. We looked for almost an hour. As we drove about we kept seeing the lions each day for four days. After seeing a hundred lions you start to say to yourself – ‘eh, another lion, I’ve seen one of those’. The same is true with the elephants, giraffes, and pelicans – amazing creatures but they appear mundane after four days of spinning around a giant open field. Instead we go off looking for rarer creatures like the cheetah, leopard, or rhinoceros. It is almost impossible not to get sensitized to the novelty of the current wonders and instead go moving towards the next new wonder. So lately Madeline has been smiling often but I am looking for a second giggle, a new tooth, and a purposeful roll. I have to catch myself to stop and just appreciate how far she has come and smile back at her for an hour because happiness in a five month old baby isn’t assured. Plus the best way to get that second giggle is to give a smile a big workout.

I wonder how Madeline sees the world as well now that she has become so aware of things. The smiles must, in part, be due to her own safari of what is now so mundane to me that I have become completely sensitized to it. I can only try to experience the amazement of seeing things for the first time vicariously through her. It is spring now and the crocuses are rising from the ground for the first time in her life. She experienced a cold snow storm as we walked through the windy blowing blizzard to Zathmary’s for a breakfast only a month and a half ago. We eavesdropped on a group of college girls gossiping about an affair that one of their friends was having with a married man while tasting the Zathmary’s breakfast food. Last month suddenly, Zathmary’s closed in all locations. But something new will replace it. We have so much to show Madeline as it gets warmer out. A trip to the zoo to see the giraffe, the gazelle, and the lion is a likely activity.

But while it is still cold out I am guessing that we will move past the banana and rice cereal that we have been feeding her for the past three days and introduce a new food. I saw two foods pictured in the Good Housekeeping guidebook on raising your baby listed as ones to introduce to a baby that I can’t wait to see her eat. The first one were pieces of cheese cut into interesting shapes like a star or triangle. The second one was a light green slice of avocado.

March 21, 2006

Big girls are no giggling matter

Madeline was at the pediatrician today for the first time since she was about a month old. We had been anxiously awaiting the weighing and measuring component of the visit and Madeline was unawares of the horrors with pointy needles that awaited her with labels like DTaP. But the verdict is in. Madeline is in the 95% percentile for height and head circumference and weighs 17 lbs and 12 oz. Unfortunately the pediatrician was unable to gauge her percentile for weight because she was beyond the normal measuring sticks for calculating such things. This places her in an elite group of babies known casually as big babies. We had suspected as much given the trouble it has been lately trying to lug her car seat around but given the effect of the bell curve to congregate the majority of folks generally in the middle at 50% we expected her to be closer to the 75-80% mark for her age.

Based on some mild entertainment that I was providing her while Sarah was working in the kitchen I also got a second surprise for today. I was holding her up in her baby poppasan chair at my waist and playing the “Baby’s for sale, get your fresh babies!” concession game when I stopped at the washing machine to switch games to the “buuuurrppp, grunt, aaaooooopp” game. She was entertained more than usual by a fantastic belch that I sung out with a huge expanding smile. Then she couldn’t control the smile and she started to make a hiccupping, laughing, smile. And then she started giggling because I enhanced and morphed the burps into a beautiful symphony of humorous guttural noises. I had to stop for a few seconds just to hear her giggle and laugh.

What a great moment.

March 20, 2006

Pushing the blue button

Last Tuesday I heard a sound coming from Madeline's room early in the morning that surprised me. It sounded not like the standard crying or squealing that normally marks the time to carry the baby for a pit stop on the changing table and then onwards to her mommy for a morning snack. This sound was the synthesized music of a Fisher Price Aquarium. Now the Fisher Price Aquarium is not the kind of product that you can easily leave on accidentally all night long and it would be the rough equivalent of a Psy-ops torture routine to leave it playing all night for a baby. The intelligent baby toy engineers at Fisher Price have the toy on a timer for about two minutes when the lights blink, the fish move, and the synthesized musac hums along. The routine is activated by a fat blue button on the front of the aquarium device. Madeline, either by accident or potentially intentially had manuevered herself to a point under the aquarium such that she could flail her arms in the air and would randomly push the blue button every few minutes to activate the music. She is my daughter after all - she loves to randomly push buttons on electronic devices. Never has a father been so proud. I wanted to present her with more giant electronic buttons immediately but this big blue button is the only one available thus far to test her genius with electronics. The next day I found her kicking a red wheel that spins on the same aquarium and spinning it with glee. The good news is that she has found objects to be entertaining. It doesn't last very long as I learned today while watching her and needed to resort to a long but rather entertaining set of Rolling Stones Karaoke (Ruby Tuesday, Let's Spend the Night Together, and Last time) in order to quiet a shrieking session that was coming on after I failed to move an Infantino pig with sufficient entertainment value or sound effects.

March 10, 2006

Introducing a new concept - solid food

Sarah, while home alone with Madeline on Tuesday, decided to test the waters with solid food. She mixed breast milk with a product that generates a mush similar to breakfast gruel or oatmeal that is called rice cereal. She then tried to stuff it into Madeline's mouth only to have it spit out and spread over her chin and bib. Since this is a landmark moment, akin to the fall of the Berlin wall or Neil Armstrong landing on the moon, Sarah was doing this while filming using the video feature of my Canon Powershot. The result was a great little video that I am still struggling with the best way to post onto the internet.

My first try is this file, a whopper of an AVI, and a thumbnail created out of Picasa.

Robert informed me that Quicktime would be more effective since it streams. Maybe I'll try that next time.

March 06, 2006

Broken bones and missing parts

In my all encompassing wisdom to replace the missing part from Babie's 'R Us I failed to notice that step 11 required another major part that we were missing. So we are once again stalled in our effort to assemble the Exersaucer. It looks like we are going to go with the government contractor route with the delivery of the replacement unit to Bedford later this week. Why build one when you can build two for twice the price?

In other news Jeremy is stuck at Emerson hospital after having tried to learn to snowboard at Nashoba Valley. Amazingly Emerson hospital has a large team of people dedicated to emergency head injuries, torn ACLs, and broken wrists. In Jeremy's case he fractured his wrist after falling on it instead of falling on his head like I told him to when he asked whether to go snowboarding or skiing. Snowboarding is not a very kind sport to the newbies. So he's getting repaired with pins tomorrow that should have his hand out of action for six months with an injury similar to the one that I had when I was playing basketball. Since us Jews tend not to tattoo he'll at least get a great scar out of it. He was probably just jealous of my scar.

February 19, 2006

The schmutzy family

Last night we had three different disaster messes, each the responsibility of a separate family member. Sarah began the evening while we were watching the latest episode of Lost by knocking over a full glass of cranberry juice and soda in the bedroom. The spill reached onto my Fear and Loathing in America book staining a good chunk of the pages red. So I mopped the juice down with half a roll of paper towels and we continued our evening. After this I decided to play airplane with Madeline and she was happily flying above me when she launched a full stomach full of half digested milk onto my lap. The results looked like this:

Since I was feeling quite smug about not really having been responsible for the first few accidents of the evening during a break from watching the movie, The Chumscrubber (heavily influenced by Donnie Darko but not as good), I went to get some leftover Bertucci's pizza and walked over to Sarah while she was feeding Madeline in the baby's room. I had figured that the pizza would be plenty stable since it was cold and leftovers. But the pizza disagreed with me and started dropping spatters of tomatoes and tomatoe sauce onto the white rug in Madeline's room.

So last night we proved that we are a schmutzy family with the genetics of the character Pig Pen from Peanuts in case anyone wanted to map them.

February 13, 2006

The party animal baby - long car rides

I spent Sunday trying to recover from Friday night. I am sorry to say that I didn't have a two day hangover from some go crazy binge of alcohol and partying in the city. Nope - I was witness to Madeline pulling her first all nighter. She wasn't necessarily angry all night long but she kept getting fussy and bored and would cry without constant paternal or maternal entertainment. So throughout the night I would sit with her and attempt to provide this entertainment in the form of holding a blue rhinoceros in front of her, holding and rocking, playing with the settings on the many battery operated sleep inducing toys that are all running low on batteries. So by Sunday morning I was ready for a full day of sleep given that we were out and about on Saturday. But Madeline also was happy to make it clear on Sunday that she is not ready for Sunday morning cartoons and prefers that human form to provide proper activities to keep her calm.

So I finally have succumbed to a weary feeling of lack of sleep due to having an infant of my own. We had been proud of ourselves and tried to hide that Madeline was sleeping well and that we had found good tricks like breastfeeding in bed to get us sleep in the first few weeks but whatever consistency we think we can create with a 7:30 PM sleep schedule Madeline can easily break through with a whopper of an all night party on a Friday night.

So I have decided that having an infant of your very own can often be most like driving on a long cross-country driving trip. I'm not talking about a trip where you get to Montreal after six hours and cut loose once you get there. I am talking about a trip where you are driving at 11PM at night and you are lost on the highway two hours away from your hotel. I am talking about a trip where you have to get from Tijuana to Seattle in four days and you can stop only long enough to egg Starbucks headquarters before a four day drive to pick-up some cowboy boots in Austin Texas. The trouble is that you can't take your hands off of the wheel for long. Someone is always responsible for making sure that the baby doesn't starve, burn, cut, freeze, fall, drown, suffocate, dehydrate, stain, bruise, scratch, rash, defenstrate, wither, or bore.

Any attempt to do otherwise will land you, your wife, your parents, and the baby in a fit of crying so loud and piercing that neighbors will explode the building with TNT with you and them in it in order to make it stop. You can try to type or think or make a phone call but it won't work. The baby is in charge and you need to concede defeat and start providing some entertainment or milk. Just keep your hands supporting her head and keep driving all night long. Then maybe you can catch a few winks while your wife lets her wrap her hand around a finger for a few hours on Sunday afternoon.

February 06, 2006

What Madeline is really saying - Long fish?

Madeline was making it tricky to do work so I downloaded Microsoft's speech to text SDK and let her cry at it for about five minutes (She was crying already). While I thought she wanted milk this is what Bill Gates and his friends thought she was saying:


"the half and half-half of a long long long long a long-and-a long time and then than the than the shuttle a long and them know that the-road France homeland long and a LAN man in the a way that the fish and new go shows long long- long- and no one should and in long long if long- long and the fish in the hash the-envelope- will long and the who in the than in the Hirsch- and the -law that alone and will- I'm Noah Wyle sugarloaf on low-unless home loan. Who love them to use them home along long long long long and go home and fish and will have her know- long long long haul along on the show and then if only the home loan-only-E.-long and and the -the AM when he H., I have a half-moon wrong and the fish and loan/ and no although no long term warm- nation Heights/O. L. O. S. O. Morrow-one those low know a guy who now own home will long long-old and then long and then the than the wrong way and long- known them and the and the long time and then the and only that-that's no long long long long long- and long long long and and and and and and the long....."

February 05, 2006

Development: Incorrectly assembled high chair

Madeline has reached some great milestones this week. The big thing is that she has started to become aware of things enough to manipulate them with her hands. The best example of this is that when she is in her swing or bouncy chair with a bunch of bead like toys on an arched piece of metal she will push them up and down as if she is using an abacus. This also extends to hanging objects like the birds and bees that are a part of most baby gyms and toys. She can now purposefully bat at them and often hits them to make them spin. She also responds with a lot of wonder at mirrors and is smiling more often when I dance above her while doing beat box style songs.

With Madeline getting more sophisticated we are preparing for the next phase of her life – college. Actually we are more preparing for when she can sit-up in a chair and eat. Oddly despite being able to sit-up in a chair and eat for over 30 years, neither Sarah or I have configured our lives to do this often in the apartment. We generally eat using the coffee table while watching the Family Guy or another DVD. But since we have an Italian Prima Poppa rocking high chair we wanted to be able to eat at the table with Madeline. So Sarah chose a nice high table to go with the high chair to install where our bookcase in the living room was. We picked-up the table on Friday and I assembled the high chair on Saturday. The high chair assembly wasn’t without some humor. It is possible to assemble it wrong. See below: Note the chair is a rocker!

BTW: I posted more photos of Madeline from the past few weeks this morning.

February 02, 2006

Return of the mouse, not working with a baby

Nothing keeps me from sleeping like one of those dreams where a giant cockroach the size of a large rat tries to climb-up my pant leg and then refuses to die even after it is split in half while still inside of my pants. The smell was something like bean dip. The dream was likely spurred on by the return of our unwanted guests in the kitchen. The mice are back and partying harder than ever. We are in dire need of another cat and I intend to use the promised Christmas gift from Nick, Sarah’s sister’s husband, which was to use his household tools and knowledge to block the open mouse holes in the kitchen. We also will be investigating our options with regards to borrowing cats again in case anyone is going on vacation and needs a cat sitter for a month.

On Monday I took care of Madeline by myself for the day for the second Monday since Sarah has returned to work. When Yuval told me that they hired a nanny to watch Gabriel when he worked from home I had at first thought that I would not have a problem multi-tasking between my work and a sleeping, quiet, and easily distracted by shiny objects young being. I was very wrong about this. Wrong enough to eat my computer screen. It is not just difficult to get work done while watching a baby it is nearly impossible. At least it is nearly impossible to design a web site including graphics, text, and messaging. I was working on a new site to talk about the healthcare data warehousing that we are doing and made some progress but about as much as had I been working during hurricane Katrina in New Orleans. I don't think it would be frustrating to just watch Madeline but to try to work and watch Madeline is a constant challenge. So I will need to concede that watching a baby for a day is a full time job and try not to get frustrated if I don't get as much work done while I am spending the day with her. I also want to avoid singing that Harry Chapin Cats in the Cradle song.

I did get some good quality smiles out of Madeline during the day. The smiles are almost impossible for me to get snapshots of. They happen mainly when I do things like talk in the language of Jabba the Hut and then swing my tongue around wildly. Then when I get the camera out to take a picture her eyes roll up into her head when the red focus thing fires and she looks like a shocked mammal rather than a smiling baby. It is my new goal in photographing Madeline to capture more smiles. I have enough non-smiling pictures now and am willing to go on a smile photo safari with her.

The Superbowl is this Sunday. Here is my prediction. Steelers 24-Seahawks 17. Go AFC. I am a Steelers fan and if the Patriots were to be carted off to another city then I would be a Steelers fan over any other random team. I like the teams that wear black and seem mean. That is what a football team should be. I like the old style Madden Raiders. The Steelers have some of that hard hitting style. I also always love the irresistible force running back and not just some tall guy but a man like Jerome Bettis who charges right into a stack of people and moves them backwards or at least they think to themselves – this is really going to hurt when he hits us. Bettis is the guy who would win at Red Rover-Red Rover and he is a nice guy too. This is in contrast to a team like the Colts who showcase a quarterback who gets paid more than anyone else in the league and waves his hands in the air to change plays at the line of scrimmage. I wouldn’t be a Colts fan even if I lived in Indianapolis. I don’t have a big problem with the Seahawks and they even have the son of Mosi Tatupu playing for them but I am rooting hard for the Steelers on Sunday and despite seeming not to care about the game because the Patriots aren’t in it I’ll still be able to pay a lot of attention to the game.

January 25, 2006

Infant products for the twenty-first century

Having worked as a father with an infant for over three months I have been pondering various areas where modern technology could work in my favor to reduce some of the labor of handling a child. Since the average budget for a baby is unlimited given that other people are buying items off of a registry I don’t see why the makers of baby products don’t work on some of the challenges that I have faced. Below are some product ideas that I would be happy to talk to any private investor about turning into a large enterprise.

Problem area 1 - Feeding

The breast pump has gone through significant breakthroughs in the past century moving from manual extraction to an automated portable systematic way of pulling milk out of mothers. The good thing is that us fathers have bottles full of milk to feed our hungry children. The bad thing is that we have to sit and hold the baby while they suck down the milk and the bottle itself isn’t nearly as good as the breast. The breast doesn’t have any air in it while both the standard bottle and the ones where you put bags in the bottom both have air in them. Air means burps and milk spilling all over the place. That isn’t to say that burping isn’t needed for breast feedings. Since I can’t feed during the breast feedings I tend to get put onto burping duty. Unfortunately the burp cloth on the shoulder technique requires a lot of dexterity when switching shoulders and the burp cloth, which is really an old style diaper, tends to slip all over my shoulder and not cover the actual area where the infant burps, down my back. So here are some solutions to these feeding problems…

Bottle holder/feeder: They managed to build the automated feeder for Charlie Chaplin in Modern Times and that was back in the 1920s. A robotic arm using a visual sensor and feedback from the bottle that could properly hold the bottle in the baby’s mouth while they are seated in the perfect feeding position, strapped into a harness, would allow me to happily talk to the baby and keep my shoulder from getting sore scrunched into a ball. The baby would also be treated to the perfection of the perfect hold.

Hold it yourself long thin bottle: I noticed that the reason why Madeline doesn’t hold her bottles herself at three months is that the bottle is far too wide for her hands. When she was given a thin bottle, which is what formula samples come in, she was both able to put her hands around the bottle and keep it stuck in her mouth for an hour as we walked through Boston. A long thin bottle designed for the baby to hold the sides would allow me to be hands free during the feeding. I would imagine it could even be optimized to avoid air by looking like and working mainly like a syringe.

Electric bottle: If the pump can automate getting the milk out of the mother then the bottle should be able to automate getting the milk into the baby properly. The pump uses electricity to get the milk out while the bottle relies on air. The plastic bag in bottle solutions seem to have the best answer to the no air problem but they tend to get air into them anyways. Using a second hole and a pump to take the air out of the bottle (but not the liquid) would be a better bottle system.

Breast nipple: Breasts distribute milk through lots of little ducts and not one little hole. Why not a nipple that does the same. It would output milk more like a sponge with many small holes rather than one big one. That way it is harder for the air to flow back into the holes to put air into the bottle.

Burp collars: Since burp cloths are always sliding everywhere when you put a baby on your shoulder and need to be switched back and forth, a collar that provides spit-up milk catching optimization that can be worn during burping would be ideal. The collar would cover the shoulder and upper back areas and be easy to put on quickly when burping.

Problem area 2 - Entertainment

Babies like to be entertained and suffer from the unfortunate condition that they can’t use a remote control or even sit-up in bed. So the entertainment needs to be brought to them. Some progress has been made by the Fisher-Price corporation with bouncy seats that have vibrators in them and swings that move the baby around but these don’t seem to do the trick most of the time and the music that they play is monotonous and annoying to adults. Mobiles and play gyms are good but they require placing the baby in the right spot to see or play with them so when the baby is lying on the bed or in their seat they aren’t readily available. Plus the mobiles need to move to make the baby stimulated. Here are some solutions…

Exchangable music in toys using flash ram: Basically if the makers of toys that play music could just include an MP3 player in them instead of the annoying canned music then we could use a USB cable or a 8MB Flash RAM card to update the music. Otherwise it feels like we are trapped like an FAO Schwartz employee listening to music that can drive us into a psychotic state.

Ceiling projector or television: Babies can’t sit up. They stare at the ceiling most of the time and unlike the rest of the room, there is nothing to see on the ceiling but the lights and white paint. To improve the ceiling experience a projector mounted on the floor would should something stimulating, like the visualizations from Windows Media Player, Barney (hopefully getting eaten by rodents), or images of mom and dad saying important phrases. Using crystals their child can bring key advice back once the child leaves the mother planet and goes into their fortress of solitude on the North Pole.

Mobile mobiles: Mobiles are great but they need to be mounted from the ceiling. But if the mobile was hung from a little, but heavy remote control car, like an RV that could drive around the room to wherever the baby was it would allow them to be entertained anywhere. The mobile could then automatically be moved and jostled in time to music or based on feedback from the baby.

Mobile fishing rod: I already built one of these. It is like those fishing rods for cats when you drag a mouse around except it holds the mobile over the head of the baby and allows me to bob it up and down in synch with Techno music.

Humanoid robot: This would have obvious uses in holding and calming the baby without causing too much long-term emotional damage. It also would prepare the child for the next century, The Age of Intelligent Machines, when robots like Arnold Schwarzenegger will control the world.

Car seat train ride: The car seat is a safe place and Madeline can be calmed down often by swinging it around right after she is put begrudgingly into it. Some people don’t have my extreme upper body physique that allows me to swing around the car seat. What Madeline appears to want is a small indoor Disney style roller coaster that the car seat can be placed on that can ride her at a reasonable velocity up and down hills and with some turbulence. The seat is safe and everyone loves indoor train sets. It could require a lot of power but given that they already have electric cars this shouldn’t be too tough to power.

Problem area 3 – Changing and strolling

When moving about with a baby in a stroller or baby carrier a number of things can go wrong. One of them is that the baby needs to be changed and can leak gross baby refuse all over. Knowing that a change is needed could help reduce leakage since a quick change might catch a leak before it causes too much damage. Unfortunately babies enjoy wallowing in their own urine or feces. They only cry when bored or hungry so they are unlikely to warn that a diaper needs changing. The second issue for leakage is dealing with the problem that diapers don’t actually contain what I like to refer to as explosive diarrhea. After cleaning-up the baby, which has adequate technology short of the humanoid robot to do it for me, dressing the baby is a whole other story. Some solutions…

Diaper nano-technology warning system: Batteries have been providing little meters to determine their level of charge for a number of years now. They include these little chemical meters that don’t usually work until you try to puncture them with your fingernails and even then you can’t figure out whether they have a charge in them or not. Well if we can make battery testers then we can make diaper moisture testers. People working on the problems of moisture detection in buildings and construction are already placing small nano-tech sensors into walls to detect the moisture in them in order to alert building maintenance staff. Every bottle of Pepsi may have an RFID tag in it soon. So how about an active RFID tag inside of each diaper to measure the level of moisture and potentially other things. It could be polled by a monitor and would sound an alarm if the monitor registered that a diaper needed to be changed.

Diapers that don’t leak: Anyone with a baby knows that despite advertisements that you can pour a cup of water into a diaper that this isn’t good enough. A better advertisement would be if someone were to put eight carrots into a Cuisinart with peanut butter and then shot the resulting beverage out of a cannon at the diaper at close range. If the diaper showed no leakage then I would buy a container truck full of them. The folks who are doing aerodynamic optimization for the car companies should take a look at the physics of the baby projectile poop and redesign the diaper folds at the edges to contain it.

Clothing that’s easier to put on the arms (arm snaps): Maybe I am incompetent but I find it hard to put baby clothing on. The snaps are helpful but I generally get stuck for a long time trying to get the arms through the little holes. The folks at MIT doing knot theory should be able to create a surface that can be easily snapped together to avoid the dreaded pulling through of the arms.

Smart light blocker: When in a stroller the direct sun tends to get into Madeline’s face. We don’t like this because we were told that we would go blind if we stared at the sun. Madeline likes to stare at the sun and we would prefer to not have her go blind. We also don’t want to have her get sunburned. The problem with our stroller set-up is that the rain cover doesn’t shield the sun well. What I’d prefer was an arm that held a parasol that moved it automatically to being between the baby and the sun. If that isn’t possible then some other automation to block the sun would also work fine.

While this list is not likely to be set-up as SBIR challenge grants from the US Government I’m always in the market for some good products. Unfortunately soon all of these will be obsolete since Madeline is rapidly outgrowing the need for all of these. But plenty of new customers are born every day.

January 21, 2006

The return to the working world

Now that Sarah and I are back from our vacation in California we are ready to face the next big hurdle in our lives. After three months of maternity leave, on Monday, Sarah returns to work. While this was a known event it crept-up on us suddenly and now we are scrambling to figure out how to not become totally dysfunctional while having both of us work with an infant needing our constant care and feeding. The initial plan is to have me stay home on Monday, Sarah to stay home on Tuesday, for me to take Madeline to my mother’s on Wednesday, and take Madeline to Sarah’s mother in Bedford on Thursday. This leaves the conundrum of what to do on Fridays. But that isn’t a problem until it happens.

The return to work is taking a toll on both of us. I have to adjust to getting back into a rhythm for my work and it is tough with a mix of programming, marketing, management, sales, etc. to find the right priorities to get everything done. Sarah was nearly crying over not having gotten the laundry finished and put away last night along with the apparently relentless cancerous growth of clutter in our apartment. I think everyone suffers from a general haze in January trying to figure out what they are really supposed to be doing this year. I intend to spend more time selling and less time developing or marketing but that may be a tricky proposition. I have been getting plenty of calls from people offering director of product management jobs but I have been turning them down because the arrangements at my current gig are still quite good and the whole scene around personal knowledge management or medical data warehousing haven’t played out yet. I belong more on the initiation phase than as a clean-up guy even if it pays better to just organize a bunch of people already rowing a ship out of synch.

January 10, 2006

Infant airplane travel

Tuesday morning – Los Angeles California

Sarah and I have embarked upon our first journey with Madeline. We are taking the trip to Southern California and then drive up the coast to San Francisco. The tickets are from the trip that we didn’t manage to take last year because Sarah had such bad morning sickness. Now with Madeline we have different challenges.

We didn’t know what to expect at the airport for traveling with an infant. We knew that Madeline could fly free but she needs a number of items just to roll, carry, or hold her that need to get onto the plane and transported along with us. We met Ami and Ilana at the gates since they are also traveling to Southern California and driving up to San Francisco. Since they recently moved to Boston and are apparently following us through California my best guess is that they are Russian spies. I must be getting too close to building that uber-weapon that will wipe out all energy supplies by breaking them down chemically without releasing heat. But that is supposed to be top secret work so they shouldn’t have known about it. I knew Ami’s cover as a physics professor was thin.

So we had to get through the dreaded security check with an infant, a laptop, a car seat, a snap-and-go, a car seat base, a diaper bag, a bag of baby clothes, and a breast pump. Carrying all of this through the security check was recommended to us when we went to check-in our bags since they mentioned that you just gate check the baby stuff.

As our turn in the line became apparent leagues of other travelers migrated to the other security booth to avoid the apparent mayhem and delays that would ensue from our attempts to clear the security check. The first problem we had was that Madeline wasn’t officially on the tickets. So the security personnel had a discussion between a trainee and a superior to determine if it was alright. Apparently if your baby isn’t on the ticket you might be planting a baby bomb into her or she could be used as a part to assemble a larger weapon. But the cool head of the superior saw that we were not to be thwarted and allowed us through to the X-ray and metal detector area. I knew what to do with the laptop, you take it out of the bag and put it into it’s own basket. The baby does not come with such clear instructions.

After hearing that you are supposed to walk through with the baby in the car seat I dismantled the snap and go, took off my shoes, and started to walk through the metal detector with the car seat. Apparently this was wrong so I had to then remove Madeline from the car seat, put it through the security check, and then she went through in my arms without a problem. We then worked to collect our disorganized belongings at the other side with the help of Ami and Ilana, put our shoes on, repacked Madeline into her car seat, reassembled the snap and go, and rolled off to buy some magazines and food for the flight. They no longer serve real food on flights across the country. You can buy a snack that includes Oreos, cheese product, crackers, Goldfish, and an inedible sausage, but no real food.

So when we got to the gate we had added a full load of two hamburgers (that Sarah initially ordered as cheeseburgers without the cheese), one chicken whopper , three magazines (Maxim, Us, and In Touch), and two large BK beverages. Madeline was having a good time getting changed in the bathroom while the woman at the check-in counter was looking for the man who was scheduled to sit next to our mess. He was offered a different seat and gladly accepted it leaving us with three seats rather than two. When we were called in group 4 we were a total disaster trying to get to the gate with Madeline beginning to get upset. So we had to add one full bottle of milk with baby attached that cries when milk is removed to our set of items traveling onto the plane.

Putting a car seat into the plane is a bit of a challenge. You first need to bind the seat to the base to get onto the plane. This allows you to walk down the aisle bumping into things as you go and if people are traveling in the other direction you can lift the seat and hit passengers in aisle seats in the head with the car seat. They are normally gracious because they pity you for being the person with an infant on the plane. When you get to your seat you need to dismantle the base of the car seat from the seat in order to belt in the base. The base must go in the window seat, which makes sense, since you couldn’t get past it once it was in if it was in the aisle seat without out detaching the base. Since the baby is in the car seat it makes life a little more challenging as you take-up two seats to manage the base and seat. Sarah was able to sit in the third seat while I finagled the seat. While all of this seat wrangling was going on Madeline was not happy unless attached to the bottle. But we did manage to get her installed.

The flight itself was easier than expected. Madeline only cried at the beginning and we watched a bad movie called Dreamer with Dakota Fanning. Given that we had three seats I would hate to imagine what would have happened if we had tried to pull off this flight in two seats. Maybe we’ll find out on our return trip.

I figure that Madeline is a better actress than Dakota Fanning and I read two tabloids on the flight so since we are in Hollywood for about 14 hours she should give her acting career a shot. Unfortunately I couldn’t find any roles for an 11 week old yet. The Michelin ads are apparently filmed at a different time of year and she isn’t an identical twin.

December 30, 2005

Madeline 2.0

Baby Corporation of America
50 State Street
Omaha NE

To whom it may concern,

I recently purchased your product Baby 1.0 in February of this year. I was diappointed that it took over ten months for it to be delivered following my initial purchase. I was however impressed with the fine workmanship in the product and believe that it was worth the long wait. My wife and I have been very pleased with the Baby 1.0 thus far and would like to send our thanks to your company for making a wonderful product. We have taken many pictures of ours and have been able to share our Baby 1.0 to entertain our families and friends. I have some suggestions for improvements on the product based on my brief experience. Please don't take them in the wrong way, I just would like to provide some help as you design the next generation of this wonderful product.

1. The refueling mechanism has some obvious issues. The first problem is that it tends to require refueling in the middle of the night. It would be preferable for the refueling alarm to be quieter and to build a mechanism to prevent the need to refuel at night.

2. There appears to be a problem with the design of the refueling process. When we place the fuel into the mouth area it often leaks back out only a few minutes later and often leaks out in large spurts. This appears to be wasteful of the fuel and requires us to fuel the Baby 1.0 more often. It also tends to make a mess of the decorative clothing that our families purchased for the Baby 1.0 and increases the frequency of changing.

3. There is a problem with leaving the Baby 1.0 alone for short periods of time. Despite having entertained it thoroughly and often feeding it until it is in the rest state it still sounds the alarm when placed on the floor next to me if I do not directly interact with it. While this behaviour is quaint it would be nice for it to just sleep on command.

4. The walking mechanism appears to be defective. Other of my friends have reported the same problem but apparently it somehow fixes itself after a while. For now this isn't a problem yet for my wife and myself but some people may expect it to operate upon delivery.

5. The smiling function has no apparent pattern. My wife, myself, my parents, and many other people have attempted to determine how to make the Baby 1.0 smile and have found that while the product often smiles it does not have a specific pattern that it follows or any inputs that will make the product smile.

6. It doesn't appear to be fully compatible with the diapers provided. They often leak causing stains on the decorative clothing.

7. The folds of fat that formed in the neck after the first few weeks tend to collect the spilld fuel requiring a complete simonizing of the product more than three times per week.

8. The crying alarm mode appears to only be resolved by the feeding of the fuel from the organic nozzle. An alternative "off" switch to the alarm such as a special code or voice command would be appreciated for those of us who did not get the fuel dispenser installed. While it is good that the Baby 1.0 provides the secondary fuel dispenser it is attached to the first one in such a way that there is no way that I can dispense fuel and the Baby 1.0 appears to not be fully compatible from the provided bottle fuel dispensers.

9. The pacifier interface needs to be improved. The basic problem is that the pacifier does not stay in the Baby 1.0 feeding hole on it's own. After a short period of time, and this was proven with multiple third party pacifier products as well as the built-in finger pacifier, the pacifier invariably falls out of the Baby 1.0 feeding aperture. The product has no way of automatically placing the pacifier back into the feeding area. The result is that the alarm sounds and the pacifier needs to be manually held in place for hours until the product transitions into the rest mode. If there is another solution for this please let me know.

10. The product appears quite fragile. While we have not dropped ours yet we fear that dropping the Baby 1.0 would break it. A steel case or protective coating would improve the apparent durability.

11. Lack of choice for colors for the clothing accessories. Since we purchased the girl model we noticed that 99% of all available clothing accessories are in the color pink. While we are not opposed to this color we also feel that a variety of colors for the product would make it more interesting and allow us to enjoy it better. We looked into the blue clothing availble for the boy model and were concerned that it would cause confusion. Some better ways to differentiate boy vs. girl models than colors for the accessories would be helpful.

12. The product gets heavier over time. We were initially very happy when we received our new product and it weighed only 6 lbs. 12 oz. but since then it has increased in weight to over 12 lbs. While we expected some growth this is causing a problem both with the accessories no longer fitting properly with the Baby 1.0 and it has become harder to carry. A slower growth curve would be helpful for us to get the most out of the large volume of starter accessories that we purchased.

13. It doesn't appear interested in the toys yet.

Well that about does it for my helpful suggestions for now. We do love the product so keep up the good work and we can't wait to get a look at Baby 2.0 when it ships.

Sincerely,

Dan Housman
Proud father of baby Madeline Eve

December 09, 2005

Madeline crying

In case you never get a chance to hear it this is what Madeline sounds like when she cries.... Madeline crying.

The one handed milk feeder

While trying to do a number of activities with Madeline at home today I realized that the basic physics of a father preclude feeding a baby from a bottle and typing at the same time. While this may not pose a major health risk to myself I was trying to figure out if a one handed person could feed a baby from a bottle at all. If the one handed pitcher Jim Abbott can be a major league pitcher and have a great fielding glove then people ought to be able to feed a baby with one hand. My solution for now is to lay the baby on a flat surface and feed with the bottle while the baby lies on their back. Unfortunately the only flat surface available to me at my desk is the desk itself and that is both an unsafe place for a baby and in need of a lot of neatening. So I had to stop working with the computer while feeding. I do see the need for one handed keyboards and decided to take a peek at the internet to see if anyone has designed a nice one handed keyboard. I found the following:

How to type with one hand (normal keyboard)




Maltron one handed lefty

Well it looks like there is already a booming one handed keyboard market so I'll stop prototype development. The other option is just to figure out how to get Madeline to type for me instead of crying for milk. With enough time I think I can get there.

December 06, 2005

Grumpy and Spirited

Sarah was reading the Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. I am not a fan of the book because it reads like Men are From Mars and Women are from Venus and tries to suggest that there is a right way to parent a child such that the child goes to sleep when you want them to. The right way is a solution involving rigid scheduling in order to build a "routine". This also includes anal retentive tracking through forms or spread sheets of information like when the baby was taking a bottle, pooping, peeing (as if you can really tell), and sleeping. It gives you a test to see how rigid you are and then tells you how big of an adjustment it will be if you are someone like me who is very lackadaisical about things like forming rigid schedules and locations for my baby to sleep in. Didn't we evolve from nomadic tribes? These sorts of problem solving books only occur in a modern society where problems like obesity, anorexia, and dating strategies are major problems that don't make people lose much sleep in less affluent countries where survival is a more central focus over optimizing comfort.

Sarah isn't pushing the book but is reading it. She took some quiz that tries to give your baby a personality test and determined that Madeline falls into the categories of "Spirited" and "Grumpy". From what I can gather that is a tough combination where a "Lazy" and "Happy" baby would be very easy to care for. But given our own personalities it is only fitting to have a spirited and grumpy baby.

I also scanned through the book that Scuz and Erin got us that has quotes at the bottom of each page. I liked the following quote from Mother Theresa. She was very smart.

"The hunger for love is harder to remove than the hunger for bread."

Grumpy and Spirited

Sarah was reading the Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. I am not a fan of the book because it reads like Men are From Mars and Women are from Venus and tries to suggest that there is a right way to parent a child such that the child goes to sleep when you want them to. The right way is a solution involving rigid scheduling in order to build a "routine". This also includes anal retentive tracking through forms or spread sheets of information like when the baby was taking a bottle, pooping, peeing (as if you can really tell), and sleeping. It gives you a test to see how rigid you are and then tells you how big of an adjustment it will be if you are someone like me who is very lackadaisical about things like forming rigid schedules and locations for my baby to sleep in. Didn't we evolve from nomadic tribes? These sorts of problem solving books only occur in a modern society where problems like obesity, anorexia, and dating strategies are major problems that don't make people lose much sleep in less affluent countries where survival is a more central focus over optimizing comfort.

Sarah isn't pushing the book but is reading it. She took some quiz that tries to give your baby a personality test and determined that Madeline falls into the categories of "Spirited" and "Grumpy". From what I can gather that is a tough combination where a "Lazy" and "Happy" baby would be very easy to care for. But given our own personalities it is only fitting to have a spirited and grumpy baby.

I also scanned through the book that Scuz and Erin got us that has quotes at the bottom of each page. I liked the following quote from Mother Theresa. She was very smart.

"The hunger for love is harder to remove than the hunger for bread."

December 03, 2005

Milk is Freedom

Among the things you hear about in the class on nursing are the big health benefits of nursing. The challenge with nursing a baby is that the food source, Sarah, is not free to move away from the growing infant, Madeline. Now that we are getting more creative with how we spend from time instead of hiding inside the house or going to the wilderness where nobody would mind if a breast was hanging out milk has become equivalent to freedom. In order for Sarah to leave Madeline for any period of time she needs to have pumped an ample supply of milk. We also need milk for being more polite in various social situations like eating dinner with friends at a restaurant since it looks better to whip out a bottle than to pull up a shirt. So far Sarah hasn’t been able to create a strategic milk reserve so each trip has to be carefully plotted against the available milk. When she went to work yesterday Sarah’s mother came and fed Madeline the majority of the remaining milk that had been stockpiled over the course of two weeks of pumping. The only remaining supply was a frozen eight ounces or so of suspicious milk pumped after we went out drinking a week ago for her birthday. Now we are faced with Sarah going to work two days next week and she needs to keep pumping to get ahead of the curve. But little Madeline tends to drink the milk as well so it will be an interesting quest for milk freedom this week.

November 13, 2005

Madeline in the middle of the night

On Friday and Saturday night Madeline wasn't interested in sleeping. She preferred to cry inconsolably. Madeline can be consoled by presenting her with some breast milk but Sarah was getting to the end of her rope and mentioning that she was not enjoying the experience of slowly becoming cowlike in her purpose in life. So last night at 2 AM after Madeline had drunk from one breast it was my turn to try to get her to sleep with nothing but my sleep deprived addled wits. I tried to get her to stop crying with the typical rocking motions but that didn't work for the first few minutes. I tried changing her because I figured as long as she was awake I couldn't wake her by changing her. She finally reached a silent awake state and I took her back into the bedroom. When I put her down next to Sarah she began wailing again. So I took her back into the living room. I rocked her in my arms until she got back into the silent alert state. This time I figured it would be best to get her all the way to sleep. So I put her into the Papasan rocking seat from Fisher Price that when everyone sees it they ask whether they make one for adults. I watched her for twenty minutes and she watched me as she rocked. I turned the rocking motion off since Sarah mentioned that 20 minutes was the limit for rocking and it slowly leveled back to rest. I moved to the couch to watch her at this point and then fell asleep on the couch. An hour later when I awoke she was asleep in the swing papasan with her head tucked into her shoulder. I carried her back into the bedroom.

It is difficult when she doesn't sleep but nothing is as bad as when she sleeps so deep that she appears to be potentially dead. Babies don't sleep like adults. If they are very asleep they don't just wake-up when you nudge them and ask them to awaken. We went to Stop and Shop on Friday night and placed her into the baby Bjorn for the first time. By the time we had reached the counter she was so fast asleep that both Sarah and I were wondering if I had suffocated her accidentally as we walked around. I have never been as terrified of something as the total terror of possibly suffocating my own child. We dismantled the Bjorn as we were exiting the parking lot and found after a few minutes that we didn't need to call an ambulance as she started to twitch.

So it is a lose-lose scenario. She keeps us awake when she cries and when she sleeps we panic that she might no longer be breathing. My theory on it is that people are supposed to feel post-partum depression, both mother and father, because it keeps the two depressed people closer to each other, fostering monogamy, that otherwise might not happen naturally. So Sarah and I are getting cozy with each other as we go through some tougher nights together.

November 12, 2005

Bad Flash Theatre presents: Madeline is born


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November 09, 2005

20 Gig upgrade from Netfirms

Netfirms must have heard that I have a newborn baby. They just upgraded everyone with ten times the disk space so that what once was 2 Gig is now 20 Gigs. That means that I have plenty of space to house the videos of Madeline doing inane things like spitting-up and crying like a bleating sheep.

November 07, 2005

1Primo Viaggio sun hood trouble

We bought the snazzy Metallica Red Peg Pereggo Primo Viaggio car seat at Babies 'R Us for Madeline before she was born. The original idea was that the seat would snap into the Bugaboo Frog but we bailed on the expensive Frog when they switched to the Chameleon. So far our experience with the Primo Viaggio is that it has a really crappy design for the sun hood. It doesn't extend far enough over the baby to cover her head in the sun and when you try to stretch it further it comes off in the back because there is nothing to lock the back to the seat. This leaves you with a floppy thing above the baby. I looked around online for an aftermarket part that might be able to do a better job of covering Madeline to prevent stroller sunburn and general blindness from staring into the sun. All I found was someone who loves the car seat, probably a shill for the Italians, and recommends draping a blanket over the top of the sun hood. Maybe the Carvey family mechanical engineers can resolve this problem with a more professional approach to this. I'll be there is a strong market for a better hood for this sucker. We'd buy one in an instant.

November 06, 2005

Road Rage or Motion Withdrawal

I noticed in the car when driving with Madeline that she tends to get tired when the car is in motion. This isn't news to anyone that kids get sleepy when you are driving. Some people with babies who can't sleep will drive in circles through suburban streets to quiet their babies. Very young people aren't unique in this inability to maintain consciousness while in a moving vehicle. Leelin the pug dog and countless other dogs uncontrollably nap once the car is in motion only to awake at the park where we are going for a walk.

So this has led me to a theory about Sarah's road rage. Sarah has terrible road rage to the point where she turns into a raving lunatic every time there is traffic that she is stuck in. Well the converse of the sleepiness happens for the babies and dogs as well. When the car stops the baby wakes up, and the pug dogs struggles to make sure he isn't left behind. The alertness of a stopped mammal in a vehicle is at the level of anxiety regardless of whether they are in a hurry or not. Dogs and babies have no real concept of time or traffic, only stopped or moving. So Sarah and countless other drivers may sufffer from what I'll consider to be motion withdrawal. When a car they are driving or riding in stops they get a sudden anxiety attack from the removal of whatever internal brain chemistry passifies them when the vehicle is moving. This is a tough problem to combat because it is a side effect of driving and you can't simulate the magical moving process while you are in traffic. But it does explain why people, including Sarah, me, and my dad will go to extreme lengths to drive a back route that may even be slower to make sure that we are moving the whole time. Maybe a GPS system could help with this. Just keep the driver moving so they don't turn green and rent their clothes as they transform into the incredible hulk while reading the pro-life bumper stickers of the car in front of them.

November 04, 2005

Mouse wars - reinforcements

Sarah's sister and her husband Nick were kind enough to loan us their two cats, Curtis and Claudia, for the day on Sunday to help patrol the borders for any rebel mice. Curtis spent the entire time under the bed and Claudia came into the living room for a brief spell to say hello and catch some looks at the cat. We figured there was a chance that the mice could smell the cats and would pack their mouse knapsacks and move downstairs. The initial response looked good as the counter was free of any new mouse poop for a few days. I found a mouse poop in the bathroom bathmat which worried me but I figured it could have been some expedition by the mouse team into the bathroom from months ago. But this morning Sarah found more tell tale signs of the mice on the kitchen counter.

So this evening we now have Thumper, a seven year old female cat, who is Sarah Madden's. It is an exchange where we are cat sitting and she is travelling. We met Madden in the parking lot of the Holiday Inn in Dedham to do the kitty cat exchange. Sarah Madden is also helping us with our birth announcements. I hadn't realized we needed to send out birth announcements until Sarah brought home some of Madden's (the two Sarahs gets confusing here), great samples of birth announcements. I picked through them with Sarah and I think we have a winner of a birth announcement. Madden is a former event planner and mom who has a burgeouning new business making announcements and invitations called Creativity Counts. She was the one responsible for the pink M&M baby bottles at Sarah's baby shower.

I'd describe the birth announcement further but that would ruin the surprise. Thus far Thumper is hiding behind the two person chair in the living room. Madeline is hanging out with Sarah eating after getting very hungry from the long trip out to Dedham and back convoluted by a trip to the Cheesecake factory to pick-up dinner.

On reflection I have found that the baby is different from the loud adventures of the past. Madeline is a quiet adventure and a personal experience. Her maturing doesn't take place in a bar filled with hip-hop blasting or a stadium full of screaming sports or rock fans. She hiccups and reaches for things and just staying home with her is the adventure. It takes some adjustment to get excited or understand getting excited about the quiet triumphs in life but they are exciting and so far I am very proud of my little girl.

November 02, 2005

First Week

Madeline is over a week old now. She made it through her first Halloween on Monday. We had bought some "Fun size" Milky Ways in the off chance that we were bombarded with trick or treaters. As it turned out these fun size items were more some subliminal need on my part to continue to eat candy on Halloween. But Sarah and I took her for a long walk in the snap and go to justify eating the candy. We passed all five of our historical parking spaces on the walk including the one in the middle of nowhere on the way up the hills in Brookline behind Washington street. As we walked we looked at all of the posh Brookline houses and compared which of them we would consider living in if we were to move to a bigger residence. I am hoping for a real estate market correction (CRASH) to help make it possible to afford or at least make a profit if we were to purchase a home in Brookline. I wish there was some form of crash pulse that you could look at to see how far along bubble bursting has gone in the real estate market. Things are fine now in our two bedroom condo but we won't be able to keep Madeline satisfied in here forever and if a brother or sister comes along it is bound to get pretty tight.

On Saturday night I went out with my family, the old Housman clan not Sarah Madeline and myself, to see the Billy Crystal 700 Sundays show. I guess that is something I'll need to get used to communicating. When I say I went out with my family now I'll need to figure out how to communicate the difference between my parents, sister, and aunt from Sarah and Madeline. I'll figure something out short of specifying the guest list of whoever went out each time. All six of us ate at CPK but were so late that we had to eat at the bar. A group of six is tough to make work in a linear world of a bar. I guess I'll be eating more at tables in restaurants with the baby.

My mom was wondering how she can prove that something extraordinary was happening to her. I was reminded by the bar of Flatland and that my impression of her view of the extraordinary is like that of a 2 dimensional person living in a 3 dimensional world and not knowing it. She doesn't have a firm grasp of probability theory, a fourth dimension, and believes that the supernatural is responsible for improbable events occurring in her life. It isn't an uncommon belief. I think it is also linked to the desire to make meaning out of her life. She doesn't like to subscribe to the theory that life just happens and everyone is along for the ride but the ride isn't in anyone's control.

The Billy Crystal monologue was funny and depressing. Strangely entertainers don't always realize what will be depressing about watching them talk about their lives. In my case I wasn't depressed to hear about his father dying when he was young as much as I was to hear him talk about how his family members and he has been very successful in their careers. I get a twinge of jealousy and fear when I hear someone successful tell the tale of their lives. It makes me think in my internal monologue "What am I doing with my life?". I guess it is the same problem that my mother struggles with but phrased in a different way. I want to associate meaning with my own life rather than just bopping through experiences of pleasure and pain.

I had thought that having Madeline might suddenly knock that fear out of my head but it doesn't. Among the available solutions, and one that I subscribe to, is that a major meaning to my life is relationships with family and the long term purpose of evolution. I evolved to procreate so lets do what the genes tell us to do. I am here because my parents were here and my genes and memes continue through my thoughts, communications, and offspring. So my relationship with my own children is very important. But having a child as a man and feeling like you accomplished something major are two very different things. I was and am incredibly proud of Sarah for being a supermom both laboring without any drugs and knowing the full encyclopedia of infant development as an EI specialist. But I can't exactly take credit for her work. My work thus far has been simple in comparison. I change diapers, cuddle/warm, play, and manage pictures. So it isn't like I solved Fermats last theorum. It is great to have the baby though. I love her so much so I shouldn't wallow in petty thoughts of jealousy for comedian monologuists.

After the Billy Crystal show as I was walking the streets in the theatre district it was a Halloween weekend saturday night. The college age kids and twenty-somethings were out in their costumes roaming between bars and clubs. As I was looking at them I felt drawn to the scene, wanting to be wearing some pirate or inmate costume to go out dancing and drinking. It will be a while before that happens again.

October 31, 2005

More Delivery Notes

I believe that I left off as we were leaving for the hospital.

I had already put the various items that I could quickly gather into an overnight bag including what looked like Sarah’s clothes and the dragonfly patterned bag holding Madeline’s smallest infant outfits for going home. I went out alone into the rain to move the car closer to the doorway and drop off the overnight bags Although it was about 3:30 AM and I was happy to see that I hadn’t gotten a parking ticket since they normally drop the $30 tickets on your car at about three. As I walked towards the car a stroke of lightning came down and I thought about how bizarre and tragic it would be if I were to be struck by lightning as I went to prepare the car for Madeline’s birth at the hospital.

We managed to dress Sarah in a pair of my pajama bottoms and my blue Ralph Lauren cotton robe. She had a blanket draped over her back because she was shifting between hot and cold. I thought about taking her picture because she looked very regal in this outfit but decided to keep the camera in my pocket to prioritize the work of getting to the hospital and delivering Madeline. The walk down to the car with Sarah and Joyce was slow because Sarah needed to stop each time she had a contraction. We had to go through four contractions stopping at each level on the stairwell to break for the contraction. I led Sarah holding her hands as I walked backwards down the stairs to make sure that she didn’t fall.

In order to drive over to the hospital from St. Paul Street it is only about a half mile and I took Aspinwall to Brookline Avenue. The route was unfortunately very slow because I kept hitting red lights. Sarah was facing towards the back of the car with her butt facing to the dashboard. I spent a few moments struggling to get my seatbelt on. The worst light was the left turn onto Brookline Avenue because while there was no traffic the light just hung on red for over two minutes. Joyce was in her car behind me and she was probably wondering whether I would run the light but I waited it out only to get to the next two red lights.

When we arrived at Beth Israel I parked the car in front and Joyce acted as doula and valet for me. I took Sarah through to the 10th floor where the deliveries occur. When we got to the 10th floor in the elevator Sarah had a double peak contraction so she couldn’t leave the elevator when it was time to go. I was stretched thin holder her hand with one side of me and holding the “OPEN” button on the elevator with the other hand. When Sarah finally made it out of the elevator she walked the five feet to the admitting desk. While the woman was making-up the official bracelets Sarah was by the desk leaning forwards. From the hospital’s perspective we were a few hours late since we had called near midnight and were arriving at 4:30 AM. The nurse came out of the doors for the ward to walk Sarah to a room but it took two contractions before Sarah was ready to leave her position of leaning over the desk. In that time Joyce had managed to get through security to come upstairs.

When we got to the delivery room the nurse immediately went into hospital procedure mode and this was less than enjoyable for Sarah who had been in labor for 8 hours already. The nurse wanted Sarah to go to the bathroom and produce a urine sample and then get right onto the table for an internal exam and to get connected to the external fetal monitors. Sarah managed through some internal strength and some grumbling about the nurse to generate the sample and move onto the table. The nurse also gave us some trouble about how because Sarah is Strep B positive and they needed to provide 4 hours of antibiotics intravenously that they weren’t going to have time before the baby was born to pump her with the antibiotics so Madeline would need to get more antibiotics later.

When the nurse examined Sarah she said that the water hadn’t broken yet but Sarah’s cervix was dilated to 9.5 cm. We were then given the option once the obstetrician on call came in to have the artificial rupture of the water done. Sarah wanted to think about it and the nurse was being a little too pushy for my taste. In general our natural childbirth classes had a ringing on our ears about every intervention leads to another so we were worried it might cause things to get harder rather than easier. But Sarah was starting to get tired and because we were taking a long time to decide the nurse gave us some high pressure trick by saying that she was going to walk outside and when we were ready to move things along that we could call her back in to have the procedure done. So with some agreement from Joyce we buzzed the nurse back in and had the doctor break the water.

The idea was that after the water broke that the cervix would quickly dilate to 10 cm and Sarah could begin pushing. So after the water broke the OB did an internal exam and saw that the cervix had receded a bit from 9.5 cm to a little less. Apparently the amniotic fluid can open the cervix wider and when the water breaks the cervix can contract. The internal exams do come at a price and the price is that Sarah’s contractions increased and became longer and more powerful. That was one of the reasons she didn’t have an internal exam until nearly 4 in the morning. Joyce had gotten out her special sterile glove more than three times and every time Sarah didn’t appear to be in a position to get the internal exam.

Sarah was very close to delivering Madeline but she couldn’t seem to get past the last bit of dilation. Joyce had Sarah change positions a few times and it wasn’t trivial with the wires all hooked-up to Sarah. The external fetal monitor is the main focus of the folks in the hospital because it is the big liability monitor. If the baby heart rate starts to drop below 70 regularly they come rushing in with all knives drawn for an instant C section. To monitor the baby the external fetal monitor needs to be in the right spot so when Sarah was on her hands and knees the fetal monitor wouldn’t properly pick-up the rate. Joyce had tested the heart rate five times during the evening and each time it was a strong 140, right where it should be. So Joyce was trying to hold the monitor in the right place but the nurse kept coming into the room. The OB tested again to find the cervix wasn’t going anywhere and the nurse became quite interested in placing an internal fetal monitor onto Sarah. This could also have been a result of the nurse trying to reposition the monitor on Sarah after they had gotten the buzz that the baby heart may have stopped. Sarah’s response to this was to tell her to stop F’ing with the monitor. At some point Joyce gave Sarah some natural remedy that looked like pop rocks and contained something to help her to get through the labor. I can’t even recall if it was before the baby was born or after.

So the OB made the decision during the exam to spread out the last bit of Sarah’s cervix using her hands. Madeline pushed through that bit and Sarah was ready to push. The nurse had been annoying also at this point because she made a smarmy remark to Sarah something to the tune of “wouldn’t you rather do something useful like pushing than just going through those contractions and getting nothing done?”. It made it seem like the contractions weren’t useful in the first place so I was pretty fed-up with the nurse but we were moving forwards once the OB got Sarah’s cervix out of the way and Sarah was on to pushing.

The pushing was fast and the nurse redeemed herself a bit because the OB left for the pushing and let the nurse bark out commands for how to push the baby out. The main order from her was for Sarah to hold her breath as she pushed and force the baby up. I could see the head even when the OB was futzing around and it looked like a slimy patch of alien turf. The top of her head reminded me a bit of the spinach artichoke dip from California Pizza Kitchen. It wasn’t clear where the part of the head that looks like a human would arrive but with each push the bulge of hair and skull would press forward a few centimeters and then recede back inside of Sarah. As Sarah became within a few pushes the nurse looked at Sarah and decided that she was starting to get tired. It wasn’t clear why she did it but the nurse gave Sarah some Pitosin to help get through that last surge of pushing to get the baby out. Sarah consented to it although with any intervention I wasn’t sure if it was needed or helpful. Right after the Pitosin came in the nurse told Sarah to just pant for a bit and then paged the OB to come into the room for the catching.

When the OB arrived again they wheeled over a cart that had been sitting in the corner of the room. I had imagined that the cart was filled with the various knives for a C-section. The cart was actually filled with the “Vaginal delivery kit”. The OB now was wearing a mask with a face screen for either sterile purposes or to avoid blood splatters. She also had an orange splatter proof plastic bag jacket. The OB used what looked like an iodine paintbrush to cover the area where Madeline was going to come out. They then gave Sarah the command to make the final few pushes.

So with no understanding on my end of where the head was coming out and holding Sarah’s right leg up to help her to get the baby out I had a great angle to see what I must admit is one of the most incredible things I have ever seen or may ever see. From inside of Sarah and pointing sideways with a sudden release from having crowned was a plastic looking but very real human face turning and pointed right at me. Her face was surreal to look at because it was moving but was so much like a dolls face. For a moment the face just rested outside alone and not appearing to be connected to a full human body. She was just a head turning and struggling to begin life. Then from within Sarah a single arm reached out so that an arm and face were clearly in view. Finally the rest of Madeline’s body quickly slid into the arms of the OB and she held up my beautiful daughter.

Madeline’s eyes quickly opened and she was suctioned. Lots of events happened fast that are difficult to remember but the OB handed me that crooked scissors to cut the clamped cord. Madeline’s head was long and cone shaped from the birth and her face looked elongated as well to the look of an elf. She also reminded me of the aliens from the alternative ending to Scary Movie 3 with their wide eyes and stout physiques. They placed her onto Sarah to hold her briefly and Sarah was wide awake and ecstatic that the labor was over and that she could see and feel her baby. I had pulled my camera out of my pocket at this point and asked permission to take photographs. Joyce had placed a warm washcloth on Sarah’s head that she had been heating below in what looked like a pressure cooker connected to the same socket that the doctors connected to their mycomeum suctioning system.

Sarah had a tear of joy in her eye as she looked at Madeline. I could see she was in love with her daughter and I too got teary eyed to see the two women that I love together for the first time.

When they removed her from Sarah it was to take Madeline to the warmer. Madeline wasn’t having the easiest time breathing. She was taking deep breaths and looked like she was hyperventilating. The yellow jacket NICU folks moved me over to see her at the warmer and surrendered the oxygen flow to hold over her mouth so that she could get some heavy breaths of high oxygen content. Madeline was like a climber on top of Everest at this point getting oxygen to make it to the very peak and return to earth. As her lungs filled with the oxygen her breathing became more regular. Sarah and I were very tired but wired with adrenaline and pride. We wanted to spend the day with our newborn child. The NICU wanted to put an IV into Madeline to deliver antibiotics for 2 days and the OB found Sarah had a fever so Sarah got more antibiotics. While I had been watching the fan fare with Madeline Sarah had delivered the placenta. I took a look at it and noticed it looked like someone had grown a giant tomato with too much miracle grow and then let it get old and soft and turned it into the mushy canned tomatoes you use to make spaghetti sauce.

Sarah and I went upstairs to the post-partum room. Our room was gigantic compared to what we were expecting. Many people claimed we had the best room in the post-partum ward so we didn’t want to complain. They had already brought Sarah a breakfast of a crappy omelet and cubic home fries. It wasn’t very inspiring and Sarah wasn’t hungry so I at most of it. We slept for thirty minutes and then spent the bulk of the rest of the day in a daze with family members and Madeline for her first day in the world.

October 24, 2005

Madeline Eve Arrives in Style

Sarah and I are proud to announce that Madeline Eve was born on Sunday October 23rd at 7:18 AM. She was born weighing 6 lbs and 12 oz. and a full head of hair. Some pictures of her are available in the danhousman.com photo album from the last couple of days.

Things were a whirlwind of activity since 6:00 on October 22nd when Sarah began to deliver my birthday present. We had gone hiking in Dover with Lena and had planned a celebratory dinner with my family at The Met Bar at 8:15 PM. After the hike we stopped at the Shops at Putterham for some pastries, rugala, sugar cookies, and hamentashen and drinks at Starbucks. When Sarah went to the bathroom it took her longer than normal and she thought she felt different. She also felt some pain in her abdomen as we walked up to the peak in the woods. When we got back to Brookline we went to bed and then when Sarah awoke and took a bath she was feeling a pain in her side. She called Joyce, our doula, and Joyce gave her the advice to time her contractions.

Shelly had warned on Friday that sometimes you have false labor and contractions before labor so I figured the contractions would go away. We started timing in the kitchen on an old clock with a pen and an car insurance bill envelope. I thought I might be able to time on my cell phone but discovered that it doesn't have any way to present the seconds on it. So I hunted around until I found the watch that Ami had left with us when we cooked chicken together a week or two back. The contractions were very rhythmic, every 3 minutes ranging from 30 seconds to 50 seconds. Sarah has comfortable with the contractions at this point so we called back Joyce and she let us know she could arrive by 9:30 PM.

Sarah then began to rapidly proceed into a much faster paced labor. Her contractions got much stronger between seven and 9:30 while we were waiting to the point where they were lasting over a minute and a half and often were back to back with no break in between. Sarah was in enough discomfort to be vocalizing some Huh.Huh. sounds. Sarah's back hurt whenever the contractions started so she gave me the job of pushing against the base of her back.

When Joyce arrived she calmed Sarah and me down a bit. She had brought her baby monitor so we could measure her heart rate. The numbers were right in the healthy range. From 9:30 until midnight Joyce and I took turns helping to ease the pressure on Sarah's back by pushing on the back and her hips whenever a contraction came. We were able to move Sarah from the couch, to the bed, over the toilet, and into the bath to try various positions to move the labor forwards. At some points Sarah was losing blood and throwing-up into a bowl but I was proud to see how well Sarah was tolerating the process. She wasn't at all interested in going to the hospital when Joyce concluded that it was about time to drive to the hospital at 12:30. I called the hospital to let them know we would be over in about 10-15 minutes. Sarah was having very frequent double peak contractions which basically looked as though she was in a fight with an imaginary person or being tortured to tell some secret with the expectation that the contractions would stop if she just gave the secret formula for Coke to the Pepsi folks.

The weather on Saturday wasn't great during the day but was a cool comfortable drizzle. By the evening the rain had become loud and sounded outside like hail. Thunder strikes were coming down one after the other and I was worried that lightning might take out the power. It was a dark and stormy night.

At one point while Sarah was in the bath tub Joyce thought she heard a sound rustling in the kitchen. I told her it might be the mouse and when she went into the kitchen she saw the mouse run off behind the stove. I guess the mouse wanted to get involved in the action. Strangely the most disturbing part of the evening was knowing that the mouse was still living somewhere and wandering about the kitchen.

Sarah's general philosophy was that since the contractions were coming so quickly together that it was best to not move or go to the hospital. Since she couldn't move except between contractions we could only get her to shift from one room to the next. So while I though we were headed to the hospital at 12:30 we didn't end-up going until 4:00 AM when Joyce gave Sarah an internal exam and found almost no cervix left in the way of the baby coming out. Her basic message to Sarah was that Joyce wasn't prepared to do an unassissted home delivery so it was really time to go to the hospital or the baby was going to be born right away.

The whole time we never saw the water break so we were wondering when it would happen or if it had ever happened. Sarah had a lot of trouble getting through the process of going from the apartment to the hospital to deliver Madeline. Since she was having so many contractions she could only really walk in between them. So we just moved her one small bit of distance at a time between contractions.

When we got to the hospital it was tough for Sarah.... to be continued...

October 23, 2005

Sarah is in Labor

Looks like the baby will be here by morning.

October 22, 2005

Birthday boy now waiting for the girl

Today is my birthday.

This week was more waiting for the birth of the baby. I don’t expect Madeline to come before her due date on Halloween but it is something always in the back of my mind. I have had some nifty little anxiety nightmares. In one nightmare Sarah had called me saying she was going into labor and then when I went to go to the hospital where she was I ran into a ton of problems including:

a)I needed to drop off Jeremy in some complex way so I had to use a taxi but because of dream oriented car swapping issues the taxi driver ended-up driving my car.

b) When I went to go inside to a party I couldn’t find my shoes
c) My cell phone was not my current cell phone but instead my old cell phone that didn’t have Sarah’s phone number on it
d) The taxi driver disappeared and couldn’t be reached when I came out of the party
e) When my car with the taxi driver in it finally arrived the entire rear-end of the car had been totaled because he had driven it like a mad-man.

The other nightmare was much simpler. I had to take a math test with four questions and I had two hours to take it at home because it was a take-home test. The content of the test was beyond my knowledge of calculus and differential equations so I never made it past the first question even though I started an hour early.

So I have some background anxiety coming from a combination of the baby, work deadlines, and an analyst presentation that I gave on Wednesday morning. The good news is that the mice have moved out of my nightmares. I got plenty of helpful mouse removal advice ranging from calling an exterminator, a strange bucket solution that many people like to talk about where the mouse jumps into the slippery bucket with water in it and can’t climb back out the side. The two variants of the bucket solution include drowning the mouse in a pool of water and just leaving them trapped at the bottom of the bucket. I didn’t resort to anything more than the traps because it appears that the traps didn’t catch a mouse and that the cleaning out of the toaster oven was a major deterrent to reduce the incentive to climb onto the counter in the first place.

The week in movies for us was an odd hodge-podge. I found on Monday night that Hotel Rwanda was a good way for me to reduce my concerns about my own life. If you aren’t being hunted down during an ethnic cleansing where people kill each other with machetes that the UN isn’t putting a stop to then you probably shouldn’t worry too much about your problems. But then we watched Monster In Law. That was a terrible movie. The week ended with two screenings of adult film history, The Legend of Ron Jeremy and The People Vs. Larry Flynt. I was surprised at how much the edited out any X rated content from the documentary on Ron Jeremy. The Larry Flynt movie is among the better movies with free speech as a central theme. It was much less preachy and awkward than the Majestic.

I had been listening on the radio by accident to some right wing talk about how they are pissed off about sex education being included in school curriculum but school prayer being counted out of the curricula. They want to be given rebates to educate children their own way if they don’t want to get inculcated with the public school system’s values. I saw both sides actually. A more interesting commentary came when a liberal guy mentioned that the religious right serves the function of providing a community for their constituents and if the religion is a side effect rather than fighting religion folks who want to battle the religious nuts should focus on how to provide similar functions of community without the religious stuff because you can’t replace the bad stuff without continuing to provide the good stuff. It’s a tough problem. I would like to see better organized secular communities but in general people tend to form broad communities (not like people who knit) around race and religion. The only likely place to start in modern society would be some combination health club combined with a social organization that plans activities.

October 06, 2005

Wet run

Sarah figured that Roshashana was a good day to take her car into the Volkswagon shop in Brookline. Her work gave her the day off on Tuesday so we pugnapped the little guy on Monday night. Leelin came along to drop off the Passat and I read an interesting article in CFO magazine about the Rise and Fall of Crispy Creme donuts. Luckily it was much shorter than the Rise and Fall of the Third Reich that is an anchor stabilizing my bookshelf. So with one car running for three people Sarah dropped me in Wellesley with Jeremy and began her day with an OB/GYN appointment to check her for group-B strep.

Among the endless litany of things to worry about in childbirth is that the nice innocuous colonies of group-B strep bacteria are big enough to pass on to the baby during childbirth. In other countries they spritz something onto the baby when it is born to kill the bugs but in America we use an IV to deliver a quick dose of antibiotics to take them out. The doula recommended trying to reduce the count, similar to reducing your cholesterol before a cholesterol test by avoiding eggs or avoiding poppy seed bagels before a drug test. The basic course of action to do so was to eat lots of garlic, in Sarah’s case in the form of garlic bagels, and vitamin C.

While you are swabbing around inside where a baby might find itself coming out of the OB figured it might be a good time to reach a finger in for an internal exam to check Sarah’s cervix. The internal exam discovered that Sarah was 1 cm dilated and that baby Madeline’s head is in the desired down position.

So all of this medical testing stuff was going on and I was busy doing some work on a datamart. As I am working I get a frantic call from Sarah letting me know that she has had a lot of bleeding, more than she would expect from the results from an internal exam. She then went back to the OB/GYN office and when they put the speculum in to check what was going on another big gush of blood came out. So she was recommended to go to the hospital immediately in case there was an emergency where they needed to suddenly deliver the baby through a C-section because there was a problem. At 36 weeks and with a nice healthy six pound baby rustling about they weren’t going to take any chances.

The main problem was that Jeremy and I didn’t have a car so Sarah had to choose whether to have me hitchhike my way down Route 9 or take the thirty minutes to drive to pick us up. She decided to pick us up and I dropped Jeremy off, and then we went together to the hospital. The main decision criteria was that the blood was stopping. But when we got to the hospital the staff was plenty ready for an emergency with guns a blazing ready to drop an IV into her to prepare for a possible transfusion or to knock her out. Sarah’s hereditary thrombocytopenia, low platelet count, had them all freaked out about any loss of blood. Their thought was that someone with a low platelet count will bleed to death if they nick themselves shaving. So any blood at all made them think that there might be some major internal disaster inside of Sarah.

But we calmed the nurse down to tell her that the bleeding had pretty much stopped. Sarah discussed the story of what happened at the OB/GYN office and the discussion centered around trying to determine the amount of blood that she had lost through various means of estimation like the color of toilet water and pad absorption. The room at BI that we were put into was far larger than the tiny room that we had seen in the tour last month. When we asked why it was bigger the nurse mentioned that they like to show the smallest rooms during the tour so that if a woman gets a smaller room when she delivers she doesn’t get indignant that she has been relegated to the smaller room and demand to be put in the premiere rooms. The view out the window was also better in this room. It was overlooking an all girls high school with the girls playing field hockey, tetherball, and hockey in the yard and continued outwards to Brookline. The trees below were starting to change but were mostly green in the Fens. I wasn’t particularly happy with one aspect of the room. Behind the bed they had taped a plastic sheet protector with a pink piece of copier paper inside of it. The words on the paper said “Have you counted your sponges?” The implication to this is that people regularly can’t count their sponges during C-Sections and leave them inside of people to infect them and cause sepsis. The solution that some administrator came up with was to put a cheap sign behind the bed.

The main activity after talking the nurse out of putting an IV into Sarah’s arm was to hang out with the fetal monitors checking out Sarah’s contractions and the baby’s heart rate. The basic idea is that the baby heart rate should increase when moving or during a contraction. For the most part it did this but having been on the monitor for hours Sarah had moved a few times and propped-up the bed to get more comfortable. This roughly coincided with a brief coordination problem of the monitor where it appeared that the baby heart rate went down during a contraction. Yes, Sarah is having little contractions every few minutes that appear on the monitor but she doesn’t recognize as happening.

This caused her to need to stay on the monitor for longer, but we were going to have to wait for a test that had been taken back at the OB appointment for counting her platelets. We also eventually had to stay even longer because the platelet test wasn’t going to get processed fast enough by the Quest labs so they needed to take a platelet count in the hospital. The idea was that if her platelets were below 20,000 (whatever that means) they would have to transfuse her with platelets.

During the six hours of hanging out and chatting we also got to meet the full cast of characters at BI. Since Sarah has a bleeding disorder she was the perfect candidate to meet both the high risk OB and the regular OB. Then she also got to meet two anesthesiologists who basically wanted to let her know that if she went into an emergency C-Section that they needed her to sign the consent form to knock her out. The nurse was also being followed around by her nursing student who got to learn fun things like – how to estimate the amount of blood loss from a pad. We even got the surprise appearance of a resident. All of them went through some of the same list of two or three questions regarding whether when Sarah bleeds normally if the bleeding stops or not.

We were there from about noon to Five O’clock and only turned on the television to watch the Sox-Sox match-up. By the end of the few innings we watched from the hospital room the Red Sox had bled so many runs that it was already over. We now have a good idea of what some of the basics are going to be like when we go in to deliver the baby. After the ordeal at the hospital had ended we drove out to Marshfield and ate a Roshashana dinner with my family. I took my last dip in the pool for the year after we tried to heat it to Sarah’s comfort level and failed and we drove back to Brookline through the back roads this morning.

The whole dry run dress rehearsal at the hospital made me think about all the things we still need to do to get ready for the baby including putting the car seat into the car at the police station, getting a bassinet for the baby to sleep in, putting the light dimmers back in their sockets, and putting-up the pictures that we took off the walls to have the apartment painted. Yipes!

October 02, 2005

The face on Mars or inside Sarah

The preparation for Madeline continued this week. Sarah has been getting an ultrasound every week with pictures lately that allow us to see Madeline’s face. The latest pictures look similar to that picture of a man’s face on the surface of Mars. My thought as I was scanning the pictures into my computer and having been to the OB office was that they could easily produce a USB ultrasound attachment. It would be fun both to look at your unborn baby and to look at fun internal components like your heart, lungs, and food you have eaten. The home ultrasound wouldn't be something the doctors would like and they would worry if you found something like a tumor then came into the doctors office. But why not?

Among other preparations was a visit from the Doula on Saturday. We did fun things like talk about the details of what might happen if we had to deal with an emergency C-section and watched some home movies of labor and delivery. Today is Sarah's baby shower so a whole bunch of women will all converge on Bedford bringing gifts selected from the baby registry in exchange for party favors that look like pink baby bottles filled with pink M&Ms. It's a fair trade. They also will be getting bagels. While that is happening my dad and I will be doing a manly activity - going to the Pats game in Foxboro. This may be the last one I go to for a while. The next home game is on October 30th, one day before Madeline's due date.

September 28, 2005

Improv crashing

Our little improv troupe was dealt a heavy blow last week when we discovered that our leader who had stepped-up to direct temporarily, Suzi, had landed a full time part in an Improv Boston show about twisted superheroes. So we had been reduced from six, down already from eleven, and now down to five. The news was enough to shock the group into not practicing and try to rethink whether we had any chance of holding things together. Among the ideas were to start meeting other people to get fresher by going to Sunday Yes And practices, the Sgt. Culpepper’s Jamboree, keep taking classes outside of our group. I think I was terse with Suzi and didn’t properly congratulate her. I was happy to see her succeed but in turmoil from her leaving the group and the clear havoc it would wreak with the little team we were trying to bond together. So we walked over to the Inn now located in what was once the fire station at Kendall and shared a bottle of wine. We got a full detailed history of Joan’s life leading to her marriage and were generally chatting about marriage because Hillary had just gotten back from her wedding.

The result was that this week Mike and I went to the Improv Foundry audition instead of our usual group gathering. The room was brimming with improvisers, about forty in all. We started by doing a gesture wave around the room where each person would do the gesture and sound from an initiator around in a circle and then the next person would initiate. It was especially fun because we had such a large group that we had to go through it super fast. As usual I wasn’t very funny because it was an audition and I felt clumsy and clueless. On the audition sign-up sheet they asked for a haiku about how I felt. Mine was:

Try to be funny tonight
Big blister on lip
The baby is coming soon

I have no grand illusion that I’ll be called back for more of what I did in there. I had actually auditioned for them a year or two back and not gotten very far. I hope they don’t think I’m some freak who lives to be rejected by them. But that isn’t a bad freak to be.

The nice cheerful thing about the audition was that there was a long pause/break when the official improvisers were off chatting about how crappy the various new recruits looked. During this break I walked out into the hall of the Egg Atrium to find a ballroom dance class in session. The class included an uneven number of boys to girls with one girl as the extra so I offered my services as a ballroom dance student. I qualify because I have no idea how to ballroom dance. The girl was probably a Wellesly student and was excited to have someone to chat and dance with rather than look silly alone and pitiful on the sidelines while everyone else danced. Unfortunately she had missed the first two classes and this was the third so we were both horribly behind in our expertise and just stumbled about looking like idiots while the rest of the class glided, ungracefully, but in unison to the instructors command. After twenty minutes the opportunity came to switch partners and I worked hard to market my dance partner to a lucky man and quickly made my exit before I was assigned a new and more experienced dance partner that might not be so entertained that I was dance class crashing.

The depression that set-in last week in my own emotional crash after the Suzi breakdown and my two person attendance at my Bootstrap Boston monthly meeting crawled into me late last week. I got a bad illness inside from it or maybe from a passing flu that eventually condensed into a long, thin, and painful cold sore on my lip. I feel like sometimes I am a moron explorer who roams from place to place haphazardly planting flags into the ground to establish new territories that only I believe in. For a short time one or two insane people are willing to go along with my little flags and then sooner or later the few people around me leave and I am left alone looking cock-eyed and slumped over my own failure at this flag that I put into the ground to claim some key idea like PRM, smart organizer, improv practice troupe, bootstrap Boston, whatever.

It is depressing times when I get thoughts like these that I am ecstatic that my baby daughter is soon to be born. I can fail at everything else but my greatest ambition is to be a good father and to raise a generation of good children. While my own accomplishments will likely always be just crazy flag planting, recruiting, building, and breaking down, my hope is to find an enduring success with be produced from the love that I put into my own family.

September 27, 2005

Breast feeding class

Last night Sarah and I went to the $30 BI breast feeding for expecting mothers class. It was the first time I have gone out in public to see movies of naked breasts with Sarah. We hadn’t eaten dinner before the seven o’clock class, and since the class was about feeding I rushed out of the car to the food court near the hospital to pick-up some McDonalds fast food. The food court had many options beyond the McDonalds but I had already taken the order from Sarah for two hamburgers and a Sprite so I was bound by duty to get the right stuff. The McDonalds was being worked by a staff entirely composed of Japanese people including one very industrious bearded guy that was trying to fix the machine that creates soy based ice cream products. The Japanese run McDonalds also had a high-tech credit card swiping and processing system. I highly recommend going there to see if you can experience the same odd staffing quirk.

At the breastfeeding class I was ravenously chomping down both on my fries and on the fries that I had gotten for Sarah figuring that she would ask for them sooner or later even though she didn’t order them. After all we were in a class dedicated to talking about feeding. Everyone went around the room to tell whether they had decided to breastfeed or not, most of them saying yes they were going to try and to try for six to twelve months. The instructor, an older nurse practitioner with the accent of Edith Bunker, proceeded to go through the many benefits of breastfeeding your child including: higher IQ, cheaper, more convenient, higher nutrition, greater immunity, lower allergies, better bonding in an interactive sales pitch.

Then we moved on to the more important discussion of how to breastfeed. Apparently the most important thing is to grab your breast, get the baby to open their mouth using the rooting reflex, then shove the breast as far into the baby’s mouth as possible. She had a saying that sounded like stop, drop, and roll that we were supposed to remember that went grab, stuff, and mush. The breasts, like the rest of the reproductive system, are very impressive beyond my standard male impression of playthings during sex and items that I am curious to see when covered. They have all sorts of functions and regulatory mechanisms for solving the problems of feeding including the breast milk containing lanolin to sooth and repair problems causing soreness, different ratios of water to fat in hind milk vs. stored milk that serves newborns who need hydration differently from infants that need energy.

We learned how to hold the baby using a doll named Patience and went over a couple of key positions. The first was a side angle where the baby is pushed tummy to tummy with the mother. It looked different from what I thought I had seen on television or in glimpses while looking away from other breastfeeding women to avoid looking like a peeping breast Tom. The baby was held perpendicular to the floor and across the mother’s body. This position apparently also works well lying down but we were not encouraged to try this in class. We also tried the football position where you hold the baby like a football, loosely like Kevin Falk did against the Steelers on Sunday, and push the baby up into the breast. The key factor in the football feeding position is to move the baby’s arm into an upward position so it doesn’t get in the way.

The question arose why fathers were involved in this breastfeeding class at all. It did appear that most of this was not something we could do because we lack mammary glands. While being supportive is important I was mainly focusing on the remaining hamburger that Sarah hadn’t eaten with all the talk of making sure you are feeding your baby well and the hunger wasn’t even diminished by talk of how many brown diapers vs. yellow ones to expect given that the imagery was fairly similar to a McDonalds hamburger anyways. The reason given beyond support was so that us men wouldn’t be annoying or a nuisance when it came time to breastfeed. By knowing what was supposed to happen we could be helpful and courteous. There were even a couple of roles for us to do blocking of the baby’s hand when the mother is trying to get the baby to root because they might stick their thumb into their mouth before the breast gets shoved into it. The issue is that babies when they are first born have no clue what they are doing, why they are in this world, or how to feed. They mainly just want to check everything out visually and try to do what they were doing in the womb, which was sucking on their thumbs. As a father we can prevent this during breastfeeding.

The next segment of the class was a breastfeeding supplies Tupperware party where we got to see a demo, not on a real lactating breast, of how the breast pumps work. The first thing offered as the easiest solution was to just squeeze and extract milk into a cup but that was quickly dismissed as something nobody ever does today. The general demoed products were bags of milk that are collected through the Madela Pump in Style breast pump. It is apparently much more expensive to buy the breast pump through Babies R Us because they mark it up by ~$180 to $390 while there is some association of nursing mothers that sells it for about $209 but can’t list the price because the corporation threatened to crush them like a bug. It was fun to hand around the various inter or non-compatible pumps, bags, bottles, and breast pads and try to screw them into each other or check the suction.

Finally after all of this plastic ware and build-up we got to watch the movie. The movie was the same as what we had been talking about except that it showed real breasts and real babies. It wasn’t very stimulating since milk and bubbles were coming out of the real breasts and there were babies attached to them. I don’t think I learned anything new from the video but I was glad to have seen it.

September 24, 2005

Stroller Envy

We went to the mall with confidence in our decision to purchase the Bugaboo Frog from Baby Style on Tuesday night. When we arrived they informed us that they were no longer able to sell us the Frog in Red. Instead they offered us only the choice between the Chameleon or the Gecko. Sarah has been fawning over the Frog for about eleven months since we went to shop for a baby shower last year. It is a cool looking beast at the top of the market with attachments for a pram, car seat adapter, and can convert to working as a stand-up stroller as the baby starts to sit in a more horizontal position. At first I was excited as an owner of weird looking and slightly odd vehicle, the PT Cruiser, I thought the Frog might be the right fit for my style even if it was particularly expensive. The split into the Gecko and the Chameleon took us by surprise because the price shot upwards from $729 to $879 for the purchase of the better stroller and the Gecko was described by the staff at the Baby Style location as not being worth it. The attachments for the Gecko didn’t even have handles.

So having our resolve broken by the pricing changes I spent a few hours looking for ways to purchase the Frog at lower prices while it is being discontinued. Unfortunately it has been holding it’s price on eBay, Craigslist, and PriceGrabber. Along my many journeys I found a discussion comparing the Frog with the Quinny Buzz and after having seen the Buzz I was at least sold that the Buzz, because it can only be acquired from European sources is a more rare bird on the streets of Brookline.

The problem is that we just purchased the Peg Perego Primo Viaggio car seat today because Sarah’s mom had a 15% off coupon at Baby Style and Sarah’s grandmother already bought the extra base for the baby shower. So with the car seat selected that affects the decision on the stroller since these things when compatible click together. So I spent a little bit of energy trying to figure out if the Buzz, which also has a very cool folding and unfolding system, could connect to the Peg Perego car seat. While I’ll probably spend thousands of hours searching for the perfect high tech manly stroller it is proving a good gadget hunt. The Quinny has the edge in terms of style for now while the Bugaboo loses points for not negotiating in good faith and changing their models and prices but the Bugaboo may be the only thing compatible with our car seat strategy.

September 21, 2005

Prozac Nation

Sarah and I watched the movie Prozac Nation last night. I had picked it up off the shelves based on the strength of Christina Ricci. I enjoyed her earlier in her career as a dark young female character in The Ice Storm, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and the Adams Family. The idea of some Prozac depressive sounded like a good continuation of the role for her. The opening scenes had her sitting naked in her room talking to her mother, which was a treat, but I could already see that Ricci had gotten older and either for the role or to please the Hollywood crowd she had gotten dangerously anorexic thin. While I may be deluded in my memory I had always liked her partially because she was a little chubby.

The real disappointment in Prozac Nation was that it was boring. I didn’t read the original Cynthia Wurtzel book that was an international best seller but the movie was a very self-indulgent journey by the autobiographer that didn’t show a very deep exposure of the author. The boring and painful to watch structure of the movie made me wonder whether the original book sold because of the content or because the title was marketed to 30 million Prozac takers, their family, and friends by Eli Lilly, the pharmaceutical company pushing Prozac. The content also had an unexpected shortening from when Ricci went onto Prozac and the ending when she finally got back to writing and everything was honky-dory. While she had a cry for help suicide attempt in front of her therapist that might have appeared as an attack on the safety of Prozac, the general message seemed to be “use Prozac, it works great if you got troubles like I do.” So I had to wonder if the Eli Lilly Corporation had a hand in turning a troubled life into a two hour Hollywood infomercial for a brand name pharmaceutical. Fluoxetine is off patent with generics available anyways so it really should have been retitled Fluoxetine Nation if it wasn’t going to be a Prozac advertisement.

Watching the trouble for the main character made me think and worry about how tough it might be to have some mental health issues with Madeline. When I look around at myself, Sarah, and our families I can see bits and pieces of mental health issues that look biological to me and make me worry that we could recombine our genes in a way that leads to a troubled child. I wish I could rule things like depression, manic depression, or obsessive compulsive disorders out as possibilities for my baby. There was probably a good reason that I was rejected as a sperm donor a few years back. I had checked a box labeled “family history of manic depressive illness” in the questionnaire. They said the sperm swam and were normal but they cut me loose after a test donation so I believe that the survey was it. If they were worried enough to reject a donation then what am I really getting into on my own?

I guess a father starts worrying about things like this before his children are born. Aaron said today that bringing home a new mother who is different in many ways than the wife you know is more of a shock than bringing home the new baby. I am now finding that there is already the added shock of myself evolving quickly into a new father. It is already starting with the new throbbing node of worry for the welfare and happiness of my child working overdrive in my mind. The father is arriving inside of me and I found Prozac Nation generally nauseating because of it.

September 02, 2005

The grand baby theft caper

Things are still chugging along on the having a baby front. Every week has some baby related preparatory item. On Sunday Sarah and I drove back from Marshfield for a hospital tour of Beth Israel. We had been encouraged from our natural childbirth class to prepare important questions for this tour like – “Do you have enough wireless external fetal monitors that you can walk around with for everyone to have one?”, “Can you bring your own mood lighting?”, and “Is it possible to hook-up your DVD player to the television?”. So I was prepared to pepper the tour guide with plenty of questions but I only managed to get two of these asked and answered.

The tour began with a detailed explanation of the hospital security policies put into place to ensure that nobody steals your baby. I hadn’t thought about people wanting to steal our baby until we went to the tour. The delivery and postpartum ward is set-up with access bracelets for mothers, babies, and fathers to match-up the baby with the parent. Only two guests of the mother are allowed in the delivery area. The hospital has a system for checking the baby in and out of a nursery and you are supposed to never give your baby to anyone who doesn’t have a special blue color on their electronic photo ID tag. The babies are always transported by secure armed bassinet with special brakes to slow them down. If someone appears to be moving too fast with a bassinet in the hallway their fate is likely to be no better than a Brazilian man running from British police two weeks after a terrorist attack in London.

So I felt both secure in the hospital’s protection schemes but now had the added anxiety that with all of this work to have a baby that the baby thieves were already plotting the crime of the 21st century. Didn’t someone steal Lindberg’s baby? I guess kidnapping is unlikely but someone may want to steal my daughter into slavery or train her in some Al Quaida training camp in Saudi Arabia to hate the United States, become a sex slave in Bangkok, or maybe a rich infertile man crazed for white babies would pay a bounty hunter to feverishly steal babies until he found the perfect Valentine’s day gift for his Dalmatian puppy fur clad wife.

Among the tips for not being considered a potential freakish baby predator in the postpartum ward was to make sure that men wear clothing while walking the halls. They also recommended bringing lots of pocket change for the soda machine. This was probably to bribe the guards with caffeinated soda. Caffeinated beverages in the maternity ward are like cigarettes in prison and the only way to get them is with pocket change.

For the tour we were a battalion of pregnant women and accompanying support personnel taking three elevators to arrive at our floor to see what the rooms look like. The rooms themselves were very small compared to the ones that I had seen on the video of Newton Wellesley. They also didn’t have the shower built into the room because they hadn’t wanted to give-up the picture window views of Boston. So you have to walk to the showers in the center of the ward to take those calming, pain soothing hot showers and baths. We were informed that each room rapidly converts into a full operating room so I looked around for the panel where the surgery stuff popped out from behind the pictures of new parent support groups. I confirmed that the television could be connected to the DVD player and the battalion of pregnant women looked scornfully at me at my interest in Hollywood entertainment at such a solemn time. The tour guide let us know that the television goes off during transition unless the mother specifically requests it. Last October with those 14 inning Red Sox Yankees playoff games plenty of mothers, fathers, and Obstetricians cranking out newborns were watching David Ortiz hit walk off homeruns and A-Rod cheat.

The tour guide also explained how to operate the very complex electric bed which I promptly forgot. After the tour of the delivery hotel room we the phalanx of big bellies wandered traveled down the three elevators into the recovery ward. They move the new mothers away from the laboring mothers to a separate set of rooms so that they don’t have to hear the hysterical screaming and pain of childbirth while they are enjoying breast feeding and cooing over their newborn with countless relatives, one of whom, probably that quirky uncle Vladimir that nobody knows, might be a spy for a Russian baby trafficking cartel.

The recovery ward tour started with the tour of the nursery. This is a room behind glass where you can check-in your baby when you are sick of it’s whining. The newborns sleep in there and people other than the nursery staff can’t go in there. There were two newborns in the nursery, one with a full head of hair, and another that looked like a real newborn. It reminded me of the chicken hatching at the science museum. The tour guide entered the room with us watching behind the glass like we were looking into a fish tank. She picked-up one of the babies to show all of the new mothers that “yes, if you leave your newborn in the nursery it will be used as a demo baby for the pregnant women and men to see what a newborn baby looks like.”

The room for recovery was a little more comfortable with a fold down chair for me to sleep in. They also recommend telling your family that a 20 minute visit is the right amount of time since people tend to linger for long periods of time with their grand children or nieces.

So we are now at about 8 weeks away from the due date. Sarah is getting uncomfortable with the size of the baby in her belly causing ligament pain in her legs so I expect it will feel like a long 8 weeks for her.

August 25, 2005

Pre-partum depression

For me depression is when my inflated ego meets the real me and becomes as disappointed as a school girl who upon meeting her boy band idol realizes he is a selfish sleazy drunken womanizer.

I got hit with a sudden panic attack starting last night through yesterday about my sudden fear of my loss of bachelorhood. I didn’t get this when Sarah and I got married. It started on Tuesday when I was trying to make some Captivate movies and needed to find an XML RSS feed. I went to feedster and started looking through the Red Sox blogs. I was happy to see that people were going to be able to purchase turf from the World Series for $150 but then I started to hit some web sites. I happed upon some website of a twenty-something woman blogging about the Red Sox from a location down the street in Brookline, Basegirl. I then started surfing from there to her favorite sites including The girl in Camo and This fish needs a bicycle. Then my mind started to go into a cloud of anxiety as I realized that the world outside is still moving around with women bustling about hustling men and vice-versa. Or I panicked that my blog was getting a thousandth of the traffic (not like I’ve tried to build traffic) of a blog about some girl who writes about the Red Sox. Should I just write about the Red Sox? Nobody reads my crap? Who cares? What the hell? Why do I write?

I went onwards down the spiral. At dinner on Tuesday Jeremy was there with Sarah and me at Vinny T’s yammering about his sex life and how he was bored with sex and all of his one night stands with Internet girls. Sara was talking about how nice the grotto would be at the Playboy mansion and that I should send my parents pictures of it as a model for the hot tub area in Marshfield. Jeremy hit me with some dagger about never having left Boston and living a few miles from my parents house. That isn't about the change any time soon.

The cups at Vinny T’s had shrunken from better days so the drinks were smaller. They didn’t even do the shake the wine bottle with little chips in it to win a free meal game. Things have gone down hill at Vinny T’s. The maitre d woman who seated us was on the job for the first night and she was flirting with me and I was flirting with her and it was clear that in another world or time that I would have been obsessing over her for months. But I have a pregnant wife and we went home to watch Raising Helen, a movie I had already seen on a plane and hated the first time about a New York socialite who has to raise her sister’s orphaned children. That’ll cheer anyone up in the middle of a panic attack but the worst was suffering through the scenes with the models, New York parties, exclusive clubs.

So I didn’t get much sleep. I woke-up early in the morning. I went through some meetings and then drove out to Burlington. During the drive I listened to an interview with Brett Easton Ellis who wrote Less than Zero, American Psycho, The Rules of Attraction on NPR. He was talking about his new book that is a horror novel that fictionalized his abusive relationship with his father. Mr. Ellis felt that the reason that the father had become abusive was because he had never really wanted to become a father but had gotten caught-up in the late ‘50s, early ‘60s pressure to become the family man and would have preferred a single life like the one Mr. Ellis was leading. Ellis wrote Less Than Zero when he was in his teens. So I’m thinking about myself as a writer and dragging a mile behind basegirl and the girl in camo because I lack a specific subject to write about and don’t have the same anatomy to intrigue the reader about my thoughts. So I must be about 100 miles behind Mr. Ellis in a 26 mile race to reach some kind of constructive synthesis of creation. And with Less than Zero and having watched 16 Candles I was back in the ‘80s swimming in the regret of not having been confident enough to ask out the twenty girls I had a crush on in high school.

Hunter S. Thompson had a funeral and I wasn't invited. I am mad that he is dead through a suicide and nobody knows why he killed himself. I am mad because the gonzo journalism died and was reborn as drugged out teen Internet bloggers around the world writing the same drivel as me are turning the world into a big annoying cyber-attic to store crap.

We had our best day in terms of sales ever at VP with three $49 orders coming in over the Internet. This was a good thing but I could watch the downloads and they were going down already. Maybe we peaked at $147? I was in a funk and tired from lack of sleep so it was hard to appreciate. By the time I got to improv I was ready to sleep or crawl under some object. I did a scene as a miserable hot dog vendor who hated his job and life. But Joan had brought her baby Henry and that perked me up a bit. I later managed to do some scenes that woke me up. I got some email from Stephanie about a mother who had died of cancer.

I have a lot of nervous self-doubt questions sometimes and I was thinking that as a person I don’t ever get satisfied or stop asking questions. I can see the appeal of God and the church since people are in this nagging dull pain of questioning themselves and their decisions and their lives. So when you are in pain you can always turn to the people who claim to have the solution.

The church says – “Just listen to us and we have the answers. You won’t be lost anymore. You won’t even need to ask the questions anymore. It will all be good from here on out if you stay on this path.” But as an atheist and a masochist I’ll stay on my route. I talked to Sarah’s belly for 30 minutes last night. She is coming into my world very soon so that could be the cause of all the panic.

Change is never a comfortable feeling but hopefully once it has worked it’s way through me then I can be calm and happy again.

August 24, 2005

Getting big as a basketball

I played basketball on Monday night so my feet are covered with blisters. As I was looking for my sneakers, I never found the right pair, I realized that I hadn't looked for sneakers for months. This is connected to my belly that is growing almost as rapidly as Sarah's. One of the unfortunate side effects of having a pregnant wife is becoming pregnant yourself and putting on pounds like a squirrel preparing for a cold Boston winter. It is called couvade syndrome.

Madeline was weighed again In-Utero through an ultrasound and is almost 3 lbs. 9 oz. This puts her at about the 58th percentile for weight. We got a good look at her face from the ultrasounds and Dr. Cohen let us keep a couple of them for momentos. They are apparently potential motivation tools for when Sarah is in labor. I am supposed to flash them in front of her face and say something like. There she is. Just a little more work and you can meet her. My guess is that if I do this my retina will detach and Sarah will clock me and I will fall backwards onto a chair and become paralyzed. (This statement was influenced by a recent viewing of Million Dollar Baby) which had nothing to do with babies.

Tonight we had dinner with Jeremy who is depressed because of his break-up with Jenny. He believes that he no longer even enjoys having sex with women that he meets on the Internet which for him is a big blow since that was the one major thing that he enjoyed in life. He'll get over it sooner or later. He has grand bicycling plans to get from Boston to somewhere far, starting with Marshfield. He bought a new bicycle and a trailer for it.

August 23, 2005

Birthday confessions

Sunday we went back to the natural childbirth class. It was a little less interesting in the second session as the teacher went through areas like packing bags filled with mood lighting, post-partum, massage, two meditation sessions, and another labor movie. Sarah was amazed at how calm the woman was giving birth in the movie. The more low key session was fine because I wasn't up for taking a drink from a firehose on Sunday morning as I was falling asleep. We had been painting on Saturday all day and then watched Bubble Boy until late at night.

In the evening my family including mom, dad, Lisa, Dave, Sarah and unborn Madeline walked to Fenway to see the Rolling Stones open their 2005 tour. On the walk over my mom told us about her labor with Lisa and me.

When Lisa was born in 1971 it was difficult to find a hospital in Boston that allowed fathers to be in the room during the birth. So they went to a religious hospital that did allow it. My mother had Lisa naturally with no anaesthesia. She went to the hospital at 2:30 AM and was laboring about 24 hours. Including sleeping after the labor she had gone for about 36 hours without food. The next morning someone was ringing a bell as they went from room to room. My mom thought the bell meant that it was time for breakfast and was ready to put her order in for a big mound of food. A man walked in wearing a frock and he bent over to ask her "Do you have any sins to confess?" She just replied "I'm Jewish." and waited for the priest to leave to exclaim to my father how ravenously hungry she was.

I was a faster baby as the second. She went to the hospital at about 2 am with me and I was born the next morning at 8am. They gave her an epidural for the last 15 minutes of pushing, which in retrospect didn't seem worth the trouble.

August 21, 2005

Nesting, cleaning, surviving?

As I nest and clean the apartment I find old thoughts that I had locked in laptops like my NEC Versa from the nineties. Here is an example showing that I was still obsessed with start-up survival even back when Survivor's first season came out. I actually watched it back then...

Lessons learned from the TV show "Survivor"

Although the show Survivor is only a representation of a sample of one group of people in a scenario that is obviously contrived, when watching it I can't help but make some observations about the nature of competition among people that can be applied to competing in a high tech new market environment.

The island began with 16 people who were eventually narrowed to 1 person.

At first - The objective was to survive not to be the best.

You need to understand the nature of the game if you want to win. In a competitive environment where only one person can survive, you have to realize that surviving is the objective. Many of the people did not understand this and may have been more fit but didn't win. Greg was an incredible outdoorsman but he wasn't able to last very long nor was a woman who also had significant outdoors experience. Most of the contestants were able to eat bugs or rats but in the end nobody said of the winners that they survived because they had an uncanny ability to eat bugs and rats or walk on fire. It was something else. The skill to handle the competitive environment to survive is different than the skill to survive physical, mental, or environmental challenges. Kelly, who survived until the last round was very quiet and nobody felt threatened by her in early rounds when people were being voted out. Because of this she was able to survive through initial rounds.


The first objective of a start-up or provider in a new market is also to survive. Focusing on survival at early stages is supercedes focusing on being better. Most markets can't support multiple 600 pound gorillas and being too obvious or too capable of intentions at the beginning can endanger survival at an early stage. Allowing others to focus on competing vs. surviving can be an important way to make it through an initial selection. In many ways that is the start-up imperative at first. Just don't be noticed by the more competitive competitors. Stay off the radar screen. So when big companies like Siebel and Oracle keep focusing on being a better CRM provider, staying quiet can be a way to fight them as a PRM provider in the early stages. If they are paying attention to competing and not survival in the new market it can hurt them later.

* Alliances are critical to survival. With 16 potential survivors converging upon one eventual survivor it came down to a group of four people who had formed an alliance early in the process that were able to engineer the survival of the four people Sue, Kelly, Rudy, and Rich by systematically ousting the other players. It is much easier for four to compete against 12 individuals than for one to compete against 15. This alliance was begun by Rich, the eventual winner of the contest at the beginning of the contest.

Strategic alliances determine the outcome of competitive situations. Clearly having a plan for alliances like Rich did at the beginning of the competition was the way to survive.

The need to create alliances when there is a large group is also true in business in an early stage competitive market. With a large number of potential providers in the market it is more competitive to form an alliance with a would be future competitor than to go alone to the market. For ChannelWave this means that forming the right alliances in a market that allow for survival can allow ChannelWave to weather a fragmented market or a new market. This is not something that necessarily happens once in business. New markets emerge from existing ones. The question comes down to who will dominate those emerging markets since that dominance is the prize. Taking on a strategy that uses alliances effectively to lock out the new markets is needed to survive in any round one of an approach to an undefined market.

Also the more fit were less likely to form alliances as was clear later. A company like Siebel is so fit that they are a threat to the survival of any company that wants an alliance with them. This is a disadvantage to them in long term survival since the less fit companies can "plot" to remove them from the market because they are such a threat.

From a product perspective we should note that when winning is about survival, if our product can provide the needed tools to execute strategic partnerships that allow survival than we are providing the "brains" behind the market equivalent of Rich, the eventual winner. The key value in the software for alliances is in the ability of our customer to "win" to win in new markets by first surviving and ultimately out maneuvering even alliance partners when needed. They need to use tools as early as the first day in competition, while they are just planning to compete through the last day in managing their alliances. That was Rich's strategy and it worked very well.

Within the 4 - How to survive in the tight competitive market

Once the field had been narrowed to 4 people how the group dynamics worked differently. The alliance had survived but needed to be restructured with a single winner. One alliance member was singled out by the group for removal, Kelly.

Kelly was able to survive only because she was able to handle the challenges that gave her immunity 5 times in a row. It was clear that she had made mistakes in her relationship with Sue that had ensured that she was going to be voted out from the alliance of 3 Sue, Rudy, and Rich had she not won two consecutive challenges. Basically she was more fit than the other competitors and had in her words only been able to get to the final two because of faith, and a will to survive. Rudy was ultimately removed because he couldn't beat Kelly in a competition to hold on to a pole. Had he been able to do this he would have won the survival game.

Kelly's ability to execute was necessary in order to survive. While alliances are important, they can be overcome by execution of objectives outside of those alliances. Kelly very well could have won the competition on execution alone. Companies like Siebel have been flawless often in their ability to execute. In a tight competitive environment the one who executes can survive longer than one who doesn't. It is better to be a Kelly than a Rudy. Making little mistakes can take you out of the running.

Kelly didn't win though as competitive execution was not enough. She made some mistakes along the way that cost her. One mistake was that she admits to was that she voted to remove Sue from the island. Sue had been one of her allies and later proved her worst enemy in the final decision.

In many ways this comes down to keeping your allies as you compete with them. Rich had a tremendous advantage among the four competitors because two of them were going to vote for him after they were removed. Rudy would because he was loyal. Loyalty was very important. Sue would select Rich because Rich was the lesser of two evils. Again loyalty was important. Sue was Anti-Kelly because Kelly had not stayed loyal to her.

Since former competitors ultimately decided who the winner would be it was necessary to not lose the trust of the other competitors. It meant that Rich had 2 of seven votes going into the final decision and Kelly had none. This was the equivalent of having a 2-0 lead in a seven game playoff series. The challenger needs to win 4 before you win 2 more. Again the alliance returned and execution within the alliance was critical to Rich's success. Had Sue tried to go against Rudy she would have faced the same odds or worse which is why Rich didn't even need to try to win the pole competition. He knew Rudy was loyal, and he knew that Kelly would rather compete against him than Rudy. Rich was also able to win over the doctor with his relationship with him that was not an alliance but the leaving him only needing one vote. Two of Kelly's 2 votes were for "not-rich" except for one which was a performance based approval for having been so capable. Clearly there was a cost to forming alliances, which was that in doing so Rich appeared very politically motivated and unlikable. He would have been a land slide winner had he been more likable. Kelly had spent energy on this and it nearly landed her the competition.

So it was important for Kelly to make it to the tie that she was likeable. It is important to be likeable in order to survive against a strategically capable competitor. Being likable is just as important as being a good alliance strategist and is a form of alliance strategy in and of itself. Businesses should look to be likable if they want to survive. They never know when they'll need a vote for them based on this over loyalty.

From a business perspective for CW and for our customers it should be clear that alliance creation and leadership is very important but in the long term it is the appropriate management of the alliance throughout time that is critical. It is a matter of survival to maintain loyal alliances. These alliances can also allow organizations the luxury to not always win or even compete in execution of a competitive objective.

Luck and chance are always factors

- It appears that the 3-3 voting tie was broken by Greg, who used the number 9 to figure out who to vote for and he voted for Rich because Rich gave him the number 7 when asked and Kelly gave him the number 3.

As a company in competition you can't always win on principles of strategy or execution. These just weight the odds one way or another to get us to a win, a loss, or to stay even enough to let luck take its course in a tie. Luck does not create winners though, it breaks ties among highly capable competitors. You can't easily say that Rich won because of luck given all of the obstacles it took to get to the coin toss. From a business perspective it boils down to opportunity favoring the prepared.

August 18, 2005

Believe in Gravity

On Sunday Sarah and I went to the first of two classes to learn how to deliver a baby the natural way. We had a choice between taking six two hour classes or two six hour classes and with scheduling problems and football games we decided together that with the Patriots playing early home games on Thursday that we needed to opt for the Sunday classes. The official name for the class on the receipt from Isis Maternity is “Natural Ch1”. It was yet another adventure into adult sex-ed.

We were early so we walked around the area where they sell various motherhood products. The rack of specialized bras caught my interest since they had a number of clever tools to extend the standard bra into a milking machine. The most space-age of the bunch is the Easy Expression Bustier Hands Free Pumping Bra. It looked like it was inspired by the Austin Powers movie where the femme bots were shooting from their nipples.


The class itself began with the dreaded introductions. We didn’t have a tennis ball and have to memorize names. The name tags were helpful for avoiding that. Instead each couple would interact to learn key facts about the couple next to them and then would introduce the other couple to the group. The group was about 10 couples. During this exercise I ran the numbers in my head and determined that 70% of the women doing natural childbirth are also certified yoga or at least part-time hypno-yoga instructors, 20% are from foreign countries who don’t speak much English, and the rest are people like Sarah and me who have medical reasons for being denied anesthetics.

Two of the couples were scheduled to go to a natural birthing center and had received a mysterious and short letter in the mail the previous morning telling them that the birthing center was closing suddenly due to staffing reasons and that they would have to go to Newton Wellesley hospital to deliver their babies. We discussed this situation and it was suggested that staffing reasons may have been a code word for some impropriety that forced the shut-down. Maybe a newspaper reporter should do some investigation. It sounds like a juicy and lurid story akin to when those fertility docs where fertilizing eggs with their own sperm.

Our classmates contained of a narrow range of people with the most common being the funny goofy guy cracking the jokes they wished they could have in high school and the earthy-crunchy woman kicking him in the shins repeatedly but giggling along with him. Everyone had gotten their partner pregnant so they were all comfortable with each other’s foibles. One couple was a long distance relationship and most questions for them revolved around whether he would have time to get to the hospital fast enough from Long Island to be involved in the birth.

After the intros we did a word association around the room against the word childbirth. Most people’s first reaction was “pain” or “miracle”. I used my expert improv skills to raise the first word that came to mind and said “goop”. The fear of childbirth was followed by a fun game of find the internal pregnancy parts on the diagrams of a regular or pregnant woman. I was responsible for finding the bladder and was looking for it near the stomach figuring it had to connect somehow but then was redirected closer to the end of the intestines. Other key parts that were hard for people to find included the stomach, amniotic sac, and the mucous plug.

The instructor had a special baby doll and hipbone that she could use to demonstrate the baby going through the pelvis and the various orientations it could be in. In general it was clear that unless the bones themselves were flexible there was no way the baby could fit through the hole so she bent the bones and snapped the snaps to tighten the baby into a tuck and managed to force it through the bones with various twists of the head during the motion. It was like watching a contortionist put their whole body through a squash racket.

Pregnant women late in their pregnancy generate a hormone called relaxin that makes their bones a