I was losing sleep the other night given that it is a New Year. I try not to put too much weight on the arbitrary turn of the year but the breaks and fits and starts of life including work make me retrospective and prospective. In my dream I was walking on a dock at night with Madeline. We were looking for a place to sleep in the cold. Madeline somehow transformed into a dead pigeon that I was having trouble holding onto but I knew that she was the pigeon so I was very careful to try to keep her safe and in control. But, since dead pigeon’s have a way of sliding around on a cold icy dock I couldn’t keep control of her and I kept losing track of her as she slid closer and closer to the edge. At the edge I went to grab onto a wooden pole to keep my balance but it was covered with long sharp spiked hooks designed to hold the fish that had been captured by the boats. As I realized one was cutting into my hand I also watched the dead bird slip from the dock and fall into the water. I also lost my balance and fell off the dock as well. When I hit the icy water I couldn’t see Madeline and the heavy cold water flooded into my heavy winter outfit making me heavier as I struggled to reach upward to swim up. I was also trying to figure out how I could grab onto Madeline to pull her out of the water but I quickly found myself paralyzed by the cold water and unable to move at all, sinking fast, and resigned to die.

I awoke with a startle and looked beside me to find Sarah and Madeline fast asleep beside me.