Madeline is over a week old now. She made it through her first Halloween on Monday. We had bought some "Fun size" Milky Ways in the off chance that we were bombarded with trick or treaters. As it turned out these fun size items were more some subliminal need on my part to continue to eat candy on Halloween. But Sarah and I took her for a long walk in the snap and go to justify eating the candy. We passed all five of our historical parking spaces on the walk including the one in the middle of nowhere on the way up the hills in Brookline behind Washington street. As we walked we looked at all of the posh Brookline houses and compared which of them we would consider living in if we were to move to a bigger residence. I am hoping for a real estate market correction (CRASH) to help make it possible to afford or at least make a profit if we were to purchase a home in Brookline. I wish there was some form of crash pulse that you could look at to see how far along bubble bursting has gone in the real estate market. Things are fine now in our two bedroom condo but we won't be able to keep Madeline satisfied in here forever and if a brother or sister comes along it is bound to get pretty tight.

On Saturday night I went out with my family, the old Housman clan not Sarah Madeline and myself, to see the Billy Crystal 700 Sundays show. I guess that is something I'll need to get used to communicating. When I say I went out with my family now I'll need to figure out how to communicate the difference between my parents, sister, and aunt from Sarah and Madeline. I'll figure something out short of specifying the guest list of whoever went out each time. All six of us ate at CPK but were so late that we had to eat at the bar. A group of six is tough to make work in a linear world of a bar. I guess I'll be eating more at tables in restaurants with the baby.

My mom was wondering how she can prove that something extraordinary was happening to her. I was reminded by the bar of Flatland and that my impression of her view of the extraordinary is like that of a 2 dimensional person living in a 3 dimensional world and not knowing it. She doesn't have a firm grasp of probability theory, a fourth dimension, and believes that the supernatural is responsible for improbable events occurring in her life. It isn't an uncommon belief. I think it is also linked to the desire to make meaning out of her life. She doesn't like to subscribe to the theory that life just happens and everyone is along for the ride but the ride isn't in anyone's control.

The Billy Crystal monologue was funny and depressing. Strangely entertainers don't always realize what will be depressing about watching them talk about their lives. In my case I wasn't depressed to hear about his father dying when he was young as much as I was to hear him talk about how his family members and he has been very successful in their careers. I get a twinge of jealousy and fear when I hear someone successful tell the tale of their lives. It makes me think in my internal monologue "What am I doing with my life?". I guess it is the same problem that my mother struggles with but phrased in a different way. I want to associate meaning with my own life rather than just bopping through experiences of pleasure and pain.

I had thought that having Madeline might suddenly knock that fear out of my head but it doesn't. Among the available solutions, and one that I subscribe to, is that a major meaning to my life is relationships with family and the long term purpose of evolution. I evolved to procreate so lets do what the genes tell us to do. I am here because my parents were here and my genes and memes continue through my thoughts, communications, and offspring. So my relationship with my own children is very important. But having a child as a man and feeling like you accomplished something major are two very different things. I was and am incredibly proud of Sarah for being a supermom both laboring without any drugs and knowing the full encyclopedia of infant development as an EI specialist. But I can't exactly take credit for her work. My work thus far has been simple in comparison. I change diapers, cuddle/warm, play, and manage pictures. So it isn't like I solved Fermats last theorum. It is great to have the baby though. I love her so much so I shouldn't wallow in petty thoughts of jealousy for comedian monologuists.

After the Billy Crystal show as I was walking the streets in the theatre district it was a Halloween weekend saturday night. The college age kids and twenty-somethings were out in their costumes roaming between bars and clubs. As I was looking at them I felt drawn to the scene, wanting to be wearing some pirate or inmate costume to go out dancing and drinking. It will be a while before that happens again.