Jeremy arrived in New Zealand. Among his thoughts was this passage about passing through customs.

"So sally last week persisted in asking me if i could
ever say anything positive about anything and why I
was always being so critical and making such sweeping
generalizations like "americans have bigger houses
than australians". Now frankly this is a rather
obvious statement considering ive yet to see a single
australian house near any city with more than 1/4 an
acre of land, most of them situated on 1/8 and being
about 1000 square feet or the size of a smallish
american apartment but she was irritated at my
supposed critisism of everything and her country. Let
me set the record straight: I love australia. I think
the girls are beautiful, the country wild and varied
and empty and adventurous and full of beauty and lots
and lots of really cute fuzzy little animals. My so
called critisims are really just me pointing out the
subtle differences that i find intriguing and that i
like to think about because i have nothing else to do.
She found this excuse less than convincing and for
all practical purposes kicked me out. Upon which I
decided to go to new zealand and meet my sister who
was flying over to contemplate emmigrating to a
country that I believe but am here to confirm is far
inferior to australia in most ways except perhaps
skiing and rugby. Strangely the customs agents in New
Zealand didnt belive this. Not the part about their
country being inferior but the part about me deciding
to come to new zealand the day before yesterday on a
whim when my girlfriend kicked me out. They gave me a
really thorough snap questioning trying to trip up my
ridiculous girlfriend kicked me out story and sister
coming to New zealand story and finally I broked down
and told them the bird god told me to visit new
zealand and start my new life as supreme lord of the
ferns, living in low-lying gullies completely naked
and emerging only to feed on the flesh of young virgin
girls. This seemed to satisfy them and they let me
proceed but not before another gentleman approached me
later in line and asked me a final snap question about
what language i was programmer in to which i replied
C# and he nodded his head and said "pretty boring
stuff eh" as if he had any clue what the fuck i was
talking about. Customs agents hate me, which is odd
cause if i was smuggling things you'd think I would
shave before flying and not travel alone looking a
drug smuggler. Maybe they think im using reverse
profiling against them who knows."