Although nature in New England is starting to show signs of spring emerging in the form of crocuses and budding trees awakening from a long and heavy winter I have found that I am covered with a large volume of death oriented imagery. Easter is among the perfect examples of a morbid life-death duality found this time of year and today is Easter Sunday so it is particularly of some interest. The stated reason for Easter as a holiday is that it commemorates the death of Jesus Christ when he was nailed to a cross after a last Passover supper. The holiday itself has many festive elements about spring and birth though including the searching for eggs, fecund bunnies, and yellow or purple chick shaped marshmallows on sale at Walgreens. Passover itself, the original Easter celebration, is shrouded in a lot of death images. The climax of the Passover story is about the worst plague possible being placed upon their Egyptian task masters to have their first born son slain. Don’t forget the Lulov and the palm leaves that people walk around with this time of year. Jesus is God’s first born son and he gets the short end of the stick right after Passover.

I have been watching the first season of Six Feet Under lately because Sarah and I finished off the whole Seinfeld DVD set. I have become a big fan of the writers of the show because unlike most television and movies where the dialog and emotions of the actors seems flat I have found that the people in Six Feet Under have very real responses to each other. At times I wonder whether they actually wrote the dialog at all or if the people were just told to improvise a real conversation. One example I saw of this was a conversation between Nate Fisher and his girlfriend Brenda. They had been getting deeper into a relationship and she had pulled away. They then got to examine why and she told him that she had gotten into serious relationships before and it had never worked out so she had to back out to avoid the pain she had before. It was a very real dialog and very similar to my own experience in new 3-6 month relationships. The same is true in a lot of the scenes in the series for me. I could just be a morbid person but I think that the truth is that death is such an overwhelmingly important part of the reality of life. So when a writer and actors are brought into a show that is allowed to treat death like a regular part of every day activities then the content becomes free to be true. Even reality shows like the Bachelor don’t seem anywhere near as real as Six Feet Under. Reality includes death and it isn’t a small piece of the equation of life. People like me worry about what might happen if my parents die, what I can do to live longer and healthier, what my legacy would be when I die, whether I am spending the short time I have well or poorly.

In the Six Feet Under episode that we watched last night a child accidentally shoots himself with the parent’s gun. It is that nightmare scenario that they warn you about on the big billboard over the Mass Pike as you pass Fenway. In discussing the death of a child Brenda mentioned this: “When a child’s parents die you call the child an orphan. When a man or woman’s spouse dies you call them a widower or widow. But when a child dies there isn’t a word to call people left behind. I guess that is too fucking awful to have a word.” I also am a fan of John Irving. His books also seem a little fanciful but they have a reality to them as well. When I read the World According to Garp for the second time I read the preface where he explained some of his inspiration for the book. He felt that most of Garp and his writing is about a father’s fears about the lives and safety of his children. I also recall a Jane Goodall special from PBS about a mother gorilla whose baby died. She starved to death alone in mourning.

The news is filled with the Congressional case about Terry Schiavo, the woman in Florida that is in a coma, brain dead, a vegetative state or whatever the expert witness wants to claim in order to support their case. The fight is between the right wing, now in power of congress, fighting for the life of a daughter and the ability to usurp the control the courts have over life and death against the left wing fighting for the wishes of a woman as told through a husband. Jeremy was inspired by the event to write his own clarification of what he wants to happen. I quoted his weekly email below. He’ll be back in Brookline by the end of April. Happy Easter. I’m heading to the Carvey family Easter gathering tonight.

On reviewing how spring is intertwined between birth and death my thoughts and conclusions on Easter and Passover are this. Certain stories stand the test of time with people because they resonate with the most basic of instincts programmed into the genome through the constant picking and choosing from natural selection. The survival of children and their genetic passing of the torch of each individual's own genome created a strong selection pressure for paternal and maternal instincts. These bred instincts cause us to feel a truth and resonance that we can't help but maintain an interest in rituals and stories intertwining our thoughts and lives with the loss of children including the children of our own enemies, our own children, or the loss of a divine child representing that central fear in a broader spiritual sense.

In light of recent events in Florida I would like to clarify the following to as
many people as possible:

In the event that I, jeremy m. isikoff ever am determined to be in a vegetative, mineral, bacterial, viral, fungal or other non-human or non-conscious or non-living but non-dead state or altered state of any sort I absolutely desire to have any and all means employed to keep me in such state of death avoidance indefinitely and at any expense including but not only including the following methods: tubes, wires, pulleys, batteries, pumps, servos, iron-lungs, monkey, pig or other substitute animal parts, cheap plastic replacement organs, computer chips, carburetors, dual overhead cams, windmills, nuclear reactors, levers, buttons, string, duct tape, shoe laces, massive injections of fetal stem cells, bubble gum, transmissions, differentials, symbiotic parasitic organisms, man-machine interfaces, experimental medicines, voodoo potions, votive candles, prayer, feng-shui, liquid nitrogen, antifreeze, flubber, medicinal marijuana, pyramid schemes, pyramid shaped objects, crystals, psychic healers, acupuncture, that guy vinny with the magic hands, virgin sacrifices, virgins, breast therapy, radiation therapy, and any and all manner of quackery or charlatanism necessary to delay my death or at least make the boring non-conscious state less boring to those around me. In addition I wish to be always outfitted in a beige suit and a panama hat except on my birthday when the hat can be swapped for a birthday hat of the paper variety and one of those holiday honker things you blow and it makes a noise can be connected to my breathing apparatus via a T type air hose onnection. Said honker must be removed the following day however and not left hooked up out of laziness in anticipation of my next birthday like a Christmas tree decorated and never taken down.

Additionally, being out of shape in my present conscious state, I would like to be put on a strict regimen of unconscious workouts consisting of heavy exercise of all major muscle groups including abs and gluts and biceps and legs as well as aerobic exercise so should any of the aforementioned therapies bring me from non-conscious state to conscious state i will also be in a studly state of body shape. It would also be kind if i could be attended to by only female blonde busty nurses. I would also like to have stephen hawking and richard feynman’s lectures played regularly as well as bob dylan albums and npr.

Continuing, should anybody claiming to be my "legal guardian" object to any of the above therapies or attempt in any way to let me "die with dignity" they are to be immediately revoked guardianship and guardianship passed to the next person in my family willing to keep me alive as long as humanely possible in any of the above mentioned non-conscious states.

Additionally, so that no conflict of interests should arise, such guardians are notified now that nobody in my immediate family is specified as beneficiaries to my assets (consisting of one bank account) and that such beneficiaries (all former girlfriends) are listed with the bank that holds my money and such money can be dispersed to those beneficiaries upon my real and actual death and not merely my changing of states.

Finally as to custody of my cat chloe, she can in the event of such altered states remain with the newall family as long as she is brought to visit not less than once weekly for at least 3 hours. I hope this clears things up. (BTW I’m completely serious here)

My own take on the subject is that I would prefer to live a long time, immortal if possible, but if it looks like I am no longer brain-alive then I am already dead by my own definitions so it isn’t a problem to shut down the surrounding machinery of my body. If you can take some organs and give them to folks who need them please do. If I am brain-alive then I think what Jeremy has written will work well for me except that I don't have a cat. I have also been very annoyed by the whole reconstruction of people so they can be viewed by friends and family business in Six Feet Under. The Christian funeral seems so ridiculous to me. Jews have a closed casket. So please don’t reconstruct my body when I am dead. Put the body in a cheap box and bury it if it makes folks feel better or even better cremate me and spread my ashes somewhere adventurous like a mountain peak or a canyon.