You can't say that dogs have personalities because they aren't people. When was the last time you were having a problem with a friend who wouldn't stop barking whenever you left them alone? Each dog does have their own unique way of viewing the world and little quirks. Take the three dogs in the back of my parents Volvo cross country (XC) station wagon as an example.

Mack, the husky, has a gentle disposition, but if you let him off the leash he is prone to run away for miles to be found later in a swamp gnawing on a piece of deer leg that happens to be decomposing there.

Gemini, the australian shepherd, is for some strange reason clearly in total head over heels love with me. She acts like a teenager that has just been told that she won a date with Justin Timberlake. She also can be a bitch but that is because she is the only female dog in the car and that means that she is the top of the dog pecking order.

This brings us finally to Maestro, a mix between a doberman and most likely a greyhound. Maestro has a habit of barking, in the car, at anything that he objects to. He takes particular offence to people in uniform, motorcylcles, dogs, and convertibles. At times he just seems to bark for no apparent reason. While useful as an alternative to purchasing a radar detector this behavior can be only described by any sane person sitting in front of him as incredibly annoying. To solve for this problem my parents recommended holding onto his leash and yanking it hard whenever he began to bark.

After spending an hour alternating holding my hands over my ears and yanking on his leash I have come to the conclusion that this is insufficient and we should take more extreme measures. We should switch to what Lynn uses for her dog, a collar that shocks the dog whenever they bark. It seems cruel to put a collar like that on a dog but medeival torturers could have gotten sinners to confess by leaving them in the back seat of a volvo with Maestro.